she had with its sender. ‘And maybe I’m not a glamour-puss but I scrub up well.’ She’d always bristled against his caricature of her, but never carped: the resulting row wouldn’t be worth it.
‘Goodnight, darling,’ she said, and switched off the light.
Sim’s journal
14 February 2010
Do you know what I’d like? Once – just ONCE – to order a meal for which I am bloody paying without a Greek chorus of disapproval from my girlfriend. Valentine’s Day is a big con / the set meal is better value / you don’t even like foie gras .
One year in and O can get my goat more efficiently than any other living person. Take tonight, for instance – the restaurant was too nice .
Yes. Too NICE.
Very loudly, I told her, ‘But darling, nothing is too good for you, you moany cow.’ And that made us laugh. And it’s game over when we laugh. Everything set us off after that.
Orla Cassidy is exasperating. But I love her. Not like I did a year ago. This is deeper. I love her like … I can’t even find a comparison. I love her like I love her. She’s the nicest person in the world and I don’t deserve her.
Chapter Nine
‘ I’ve always liked her on TVbut she sounds hideous in real life.’
‘I’m making her sound grotesque. She’s nice, honestly. Very charismatic.’
‘Fancy being called Ant. I’d rather be Thea. Bet she fancied the pants off old Sim.’
‘Juno. That kind of hurts.’
‘Sorry. I’m being flippant. But everybody fancied your fella, Orla. And you loved it!’
‘I kind of did. I kind of didn’t.’
‘She wouldn’t have had a hope in hell. I mean, even if he’d been single. She’s decrepit.’
‘Weirdly ageless, actually. Like a sprite. Very slender, very feminine. Not girly. Feminine . Dazzling presence. Now I know what the term star quality means.’
‘Sounds like you fancy her yourself.’
‘Are you growing your hair? The screen’s so blurry it’s hard to tell.’
‘Himself hates it. We had a sit-down to discuss the state of the marriage.’
‘Sounds ominous. What was the outcome?’
‘The state of the marriage is that the marriage is in a state.’
‘No, really.’
‘Really.’
‘ Really really? I’ve missed a fewepisodes, haven’t I? So bloody wrapped up in myself.’
‘I don’t mind.’
‘Well I do.’
‘Himself and me’ll work it out. We always do. If only he’d keep something in reserve for me, not use up all his sparkle on client lunches, you know? He came in the door tonight and before I even opened my mouth he held up his hands and said, Go easy on me, it’s been a long day. ’
‘His voice isn’t like that. You make him sound like a eunuch chipmunk. I suppose he has to work hard to keep you and Jack in your, er, high standard of living.’
‘You’re trying so hard to be nice when you want to shout, you greedy bitch, you want the moon on a stick and then you’re annoyed because the poor man is tired . My mother just says it right out. That’s a direct quote, actually.’
‘I don’t think you’re a greedy bitch.’
‘Don’t you? I do. Listen, how’s the valentine? Still in one piece? Hasn’t fallen into a shredder by mistake?’
‘Why doesn’t anybody get it? That card is my lifeline.’
‘If you were here, we’d go out for a Thai curry, cure my marriage and drown that card in the Liffey. What’s this Reece like, then? A possible?’
‘A what? You mean, Jaysus woman, a possible boyfriend ?’
‘No, lover. They’re much better value. Or do you plan to wall yourself up with your old biddy?’
‘I don’t hop from man to man.’
‘Unlike me, filthy tart that I am, eh? You didn’t say it, but you thought it now didn’t you …’
‘Ha! Well, if the tarty hat fits …’
‘I was a bit of a one, wasn’t I? God, it wasfun. So, anyway, Reece isn’t a possible? Are you truly telling me you’re in London, capital of the known world, and you haven’t met one single solitary man who’s piqued your interest?
‘Goodnight, darling,’ she said, and switched off the light.
Sim’s journal
14 February 2010
Do you know what I’d like? Once – just ONCE – to order a meal for which I am bloody paying without a Greek chorus of disapproval from my girlfriend. Valentine’s Day is a big con / the set meal is better value / you don’t even like foie gras .
One year in and O can get my goat more efficiently than any other living person. Take tonight, for instance – the restaurant was too nice .
Yes. Too NICE.
Very loudly, I told her, ‘But darling, nothing is too good for you, you moany cow.’ And that made us laugh. And it’s game over when we laugh. Everything set us off after that.
Orla Cassidy is exasperating. But I love her. Not like I did a year ago. This is deeper. I love her like … I can’t even find a comparison. I love her like I love her. She’s the nicest person in the world and I don’t deserve her.
Chapter Nine
‘ I’ve always liked her on TVbut she sounds hideous in real life.’
‘I’m making her sound grotesque. She’s nice, honestly. Very charismatic.’
‘Fancy being called Ant. I’d rather be Thea. Bet she fancied the pants off old Sim.’
‘Juno. That kind of hurts.’
‘Sorry. I’m being flippant. But everybody fancied your fella, Orla. And you loved it!’
‘I kind of did. I kind of didn’t.’
‘She wouldn’t have had a hope in hell. I mean, even if he’d been single. She’s decrepit.’
‘Weirdly ageless, actually. Like a sprite. Very slender, very feminine. Not girly. Feminine . Dazzling presence. Now I know what the term star quality means.’
‘Sounds like you fancy her yourself.’
‘Are you growing your hair? The screen’s so blurry it’s hard to tell.’
‘Himself hates it. We had a sit-down to discuss the state of the marriage.’
‘Sounds ominous. What was the outcome?’
‘The state of the marriage is that the marriage is in a state.’
‘No, really.’
‘Really.’
‘ Really really? I’ve missed a fewepisodes, haven’t I? So bloody wrapped up in myself.’
‘I don’t mind.’
‘Well I do.’
‘Himself and me’ll work it out. We always do. If only he’d keep something in reserve for me, not use up all his sparkle on client lunches, you know? He came in the door tonight and before I even opened my mouth he held up his hands and said, Go easy on me, it’s been a long day. ’
‘His voice isn’t like that. You make him sound like a eunuch chipmunk. I suppose he has to work hard to keep you and Jack in your, er, high standard of living.’
‘You’re trying so hard to be nice when you want to shout, you greedy bitch, you want the moon on a stick and then you’re annoyed because the poor man is tired . My mother just says it right out. That’s a direct quote, actually.’
‘I don’t think you’re a greedy bitch.’
‘Don’t you? I do. Listen, how’s the valentine? Still in one piece? Hasn’t fallen into a shredder by mistake?’
‘Why doesn’t anybody get it? That card is my lifeline.’
‘If you were here, we’d go out for a Thai curry, cure my marriage and drown that card in the Liffey. What’s this Reece like, then? A possible?’
‘A what? You mean, Jaysus woman, a possible boyfriend ?’
‘No, lover. They’re much better value. Or do you plan to wall yourself up with your old biddy?’
‘I don’t hop from man to man.’
‘Unlike me, filthy tart that I am, eh? You didn’t say it, but you thought it now didn’t you …’
‘Ha! Well, if the tarty hat fits …’
‘I was a bit of a one, wasn’t I? God, it wasfun. So, anyway, Reece isn’t a possible? Are you truly telling me you’re in London, capital of the known world, and you haven’t met one single solitary man who’s piqued your interest?
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