says.
I try to squirm out of his grasp, but he's too big.
I'm too weak.
Too sad.
Just too everything.
“ They didn't deserve to live,” Kiki says.
“I'm not God.” I still try to tear myself from Thorn's grasp.
“No, ya don't,” he says, and I hit him. He holds my wrists. “Let it the fuck out!” he roars and I do.
I scream in Kiki's condo. I scream until my voice goes hoarse... then it just goes.
I'm spent, collapsing inside Thorn's unyielding embrace.
When he's sure I won't bolt, he carries me the two steps to the couch.
Kiki gets in my face. “Listen to me: That was not your fault. You protected a girl who couldn't protect herself, Simone. Fuck… Juliette, whoever ya are. You protected her when you couldn't protect yourself.”
Thorn kisses my forehead, and my head dips.
“Juliette?” Kiki asks.
My head's too heavy to lift, but somehow I manage.
Her hard eyes meet mine. “What did Colette do when the last turd bird bit the dust?”
I hold up two fingers.
Thorn says, “Two words.”
I nod.
Kiki grins. “I bet I know what they were.”
I manage to say them anyway. “Thank you.”
“I bet she was, baby. I bet she was.”
They hug me on the couch, my new lover and friend.
I can't accept what they give me. I can't.
But it doesn't matter.
My traitorous heart already has.
17
Thorn
Drug smuggler.
Whore for foreign ambassadors.
Assassin.
Then the worst fucking truth of all: I think I love her.
I'm a cop who hung on to my undercover assignment by the skin of my teeth after the death of the perp who was after my best friend's girl. Now wife.
I don't believe in love at first sight. It's for pussies. Thorn doesn't do love. Thorn does sex.
I've only had sex once with Simone. Juliette— that's going to take some getting used to.
I should take her straight to the precinct and let what needs to happen happen.
But her soft, warm body presses against mine, and I just can't. I can't allow more harm to come to her. It's not okay that they'll wound her without violence but with words.
No one will hurt her again if I can help it.
Kiki interjects, scattering the shit in my head. “Stay here, Simone. I mean, Juliette.” She sighs.
I look around the tiny condo and wonder where she'll stuff Juliette in this place.
“Numbnuts won't think to look here,” I say.
She shakes her head. “He's so connected. Shep will eventually find me. Maybe I have a day or two.”
I squat until our faces our level, and I grab both sides of her jaw. “Why can't he just let you go?”
She doesn't cry, but water sits in her eyes like a never-ending pool of poised grief.
“ Shepard wants me.”
I feel my scowl. “You said he's some kind of perv, that he breaks the girls in, shows them what's what, then sends them on their un-merry way.”
“True.”
There's something more in her face.
“Then what makes you special?” Kiki asks then blanches, realizing she might have inferred Juliette's not special.
I don't think Juliette has a big enough ego to bruise.
Juliette doesn't notice. “I think I was his first.”
“ First what?” Kiki asks.
“ Cherry,” she says.
I blink. Let me count the shades of fucked up.
*
I pace the small living room, noticing nothing—thinking about everything.
I stare out the expansive glass that covers the walls and spreads out over Puget Sound. The water churns, deep pewter and angry. Kind of like my thoughts.
Shepard will come after Juliette. He's got some emotion wrapped up in his quest for her. It's more than business. So naturally, it's more complicated.
I need to protect her. I chuckle, softly shaking my head.
“What's so funny? 'Cuz, Thorn, I can't find any comedy right now.”
I give Kiki a small smile as the drone of water comes from Juliette's shower. “I'm just thinking I need to keep Simone— Juliette protected.”
Maybe, if I did my goddamned job, she could be witness protection. But no. My pits sweat when I think about the potential
I try to squirm out of his grasp, but he's too big.
I'm too weak.
Too sad.
Just too everything.
“ They didn't deserve to live,” Kiki says.
“I'm not God.” I still try to tear myself from Thorn's grasp.
“No, ya don't,” he says, and I hit him. He holds my wrists. “Let it the fuck out!” he roars and I do.
I scream in Kiki's condo. I scream until my voice goes hoarse... then it just goes.
I'm spent, collapsing inside Thorn's unyielding embrace.
When he's sure I won't bolt, he carries me the two steps to the couch.
Kiki gets in my face. “Listen to me: That was not your fault. You protected a girl who couldn't protect herself, Simone. Fuck… Juliette, whoever ya are. You protected her when you couldn't protect yourself.”
Thorn kisses my forehead, and my head dips.
“Juliette?” Kiki asks.
My head's too heavy to lift, but somehow I manage.
Her hard eyes meet mine. “What did Colette do when the last turd bird bit the dust?”
I hold up two fingers.
Thorn says, “Two words.”
I nod.
Kiki grins. “I bet I know what they were.”
I manage to say them anyway. “Thank you.”
“I bet she was, baby. I bet she was.”
They hug me on the couch, my new lover and friend.
I can't accept what they give me. I can't.
But it doesn't matter.
My traitorous heart already has.
17
Thorn
Drug smuggler.
Whore for foreign ambassadors.
Assassin.
Then the worst fucking truth of all: I think I love her.
I'm a cop who hung on to my undercover assignment by the skin of my teeth after the death of the perp who was after my best friend's girl. Now wife.
I don't believe in love at first sight. It's for pussies. Thorn doesn't do love. Thorn does sex.
I've only had sex once with Simone. Juliette— that's going to take some getting used to.
I should take her straight to the precinct and let what needs to happen happen.
But her soft, warm body presses against mine, and I just can't. I can't allow more harm to come to her. It's not okay that they'll wound her without violence but with words.
No one will hurt her again if I can help it.
Kiki interjects, scattering the shit in my head. “Stay here, Simone. I mean, Juliette.” She sighs.
I look around the tiny condo and wonder where she'll stuff Juliette in this place.
“Numbnuts won't think to look here,” I say.
She shakes her head. “He's so connected. Shep will eventually find me. Maybe I have a day or two.”
I squat until our faces our level, and I grab both sides of her jaw. “Why can't he just let you go?”
She doesn't cry, but water sits in her eyes like a never-ending pool of poised grief.
“ Shepard wants me.”
I feel my scowl. “You said he's some kind of perv, that he breaks the girls in, shows them what's what, then sends them on their un-merry way.”
“True.”
There's something more in her face.
“Then what makes you special?” Kiki asks then blanches, realizing she might have inferred Juliette's not special.
I don't think Juliette has a big enough ego to bruise.
Juliette doesn't notice. “I think I was his first.”
“ First what?” Kiki asks.
“ Cherry,” she says.
I blink. Let me count the shades of fucked up.
*
I pace the small living room, noticing nothing—thinking about everything.
I stare out the expansive glass that covers the walls and spreads out over Puget Sound. The water churns, deep pewter and angry. Kind of like my thoughts.
Shepard will come after Juliette. He's got some emotion wrapped up in his quest for her. It's more than business. So naturally, it's more complicated.
I need to protect her. I chuckle, softly shaking my head.
“What's so funny? 'Cuz, Thorn, I can't find any comedy right now.”
I give Kiki a small smile as the drone of water comes from Juliette's shower. “I'm just thinking I need to keep Simone— Juliette protected.”
Maybe, if I did my goddamned job, she could be witness protection. But no. My pits sweat when I think about the potential
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