a debating society!
• O F THE D IVINE W ILL •
I HAD A LETTER this morning from some association which is agitating for the repeal of the Sales Tax which is, its pamphlet assures me, “a straight violation of the laws of God.” This is fascinating. Not long ago one of the larger Canadian churches notified me of itsintention to “prepare a statement of God’s Will concerning marriage.” How lucky we are to live in a country where God’s Will and His Laws are so thoroughly understood, and so zealously publicized!
• O F H IS I GNORANCE •
I TRIED TO READ a book on economics today and got through about thirty pages, of which I remember nothing. This is a recurrent disappointment. For months at a time I read articles in newspapers and magazines which are full of references to the Law of Supply and Demand, to Diminishing Returns, to Undistributed Assets, to Non-perpetuating Wages (I think I understand this, because mine have always been of the non-perpetuating kind) to Good Money Driving Out Bad, and all those things with which the intelligent world seems to be on such easy terms, and I don’t understand any of them. So from time to time I get a book which professes to make economics clear even to lunk-heads like myself, and I read it solemnly, but I can never remember what it says. This is one reason why I shall always be a member of the exploited proletariat. Why, I never even understand what Money is. The books tell me that it is merely a variable medium of exchange, representing a variable amount of goods or services, but I can never remember these discreditable facts about good old money, which is probably my favourite commodity. It’s a terrible thing to be ignorant.
• O F V ICE P RESIDENCIES •
I RECIEVED A LETTER this morning informing me that I had been appointed to a Committee; it did not tell me, however, what the Committee was formed to do, or whether it would ever meet, or whether the members were merely expected to become pen-pals. I am alreadya member of a vast number of committees, associations, commissions, ginger-groups, pepper sprinklers and mustard pots and they rarely expect me to do anything, so I shall lie low and wait until this new Committee shows its hand; if it reveals any disquieting signs of life I shall send the chairman a letter signed with a false name, saying that I am dead, and that will be the end of that.… I find it very useful to be a member of plenty of committees; I can point to the list whenever I am asked to do anything which might involve real work, and ask how I can be expected to shoulder any new duties? In a few more years I am going to begin collecting Vice Presidencies; they ensure that one’s name will be kept high on the official stationery of several important bodies, and it is only once in a blue moon that a Vice President (like Mr. Truman) is called upon to do anything. Besides, in our North American civilization any man over a certain age is expected to be Vice President of a few organizations, if he is not a moron or one of Nature’s secretaries.
• O F J UVENILE L ITERATURE •
I WAS LOOKING through a pile of books this afternoon, which I had not read since I was a boy. To my astonishment I found that I remembered the stories in some detail. But in those days my mind was young and impressionable, and had not been subjected to the horrible wear and tear of book reviewing; nowadays my poor brain is a sort of incinerator, which seizes upon huge amounts of literary garbage, quickly reduces it to ashes, and spits them out, retaining only a disgusting slime upon its walls.… As I leafed over the pages of these boys’ books, I was delighted by the unambiguous style in which they were written, and particularly the way in which the characters were named. When in aboy’s story, you find a character called “Sir Judas Snake” you can be pretty sure that he is up to no good, and will probably get seriously in the way of the hero, who is quite likely to be
• O F THE D IVINE W ILL •
I HAD A LETTER this morning from some association which is agitating for the repeal of the Sales Tax which is, its pamphlet assures me, “a straight violation of the laws of God.” This is fascinating. Not long ago one of the larger Canadian churches notified me of itsintention to “prepare a statement of God’s Will concerning marriage.” How lucky we are to live in a country where God’s Will and His Laws are so thoroughly understood, and so zealously publicized!
• O F H IS I GNORANCE •
I TRIED TO READ a book on economics today and got through about thirty pages, of which I remember nothing. This is a recurrent disappointment. For months at a time I read articles in newspapers and magazines which are full of references to the Law of Supply and Demand, to Diminishing Returns, to Undistributed Assets, to Non-perpetuating Wages (I think I understand this, because mine have always been of the non-perpetuating kind) to Good Money Driving Out Bad, and all those things with which the intelligent world seems to be on such easy terms, and I don’t understand any of them. So from time to time I get a book which professes to make economics clear even to lunk-heads like myself, and I read it solemnly, but I can never remember what it says. This is one reason why I shall always be a member of the exploited proletariat. Why, I never even understand what Money is. The books tell me that it is merely a variable medium of exchange, representing a variable amount of goods or services, but I can never remember these discreditable facts about good old money, which is probably my favourite commodity. It’s a terrible thing to be ignorant.
• O F V ICE P RESIDENCIES •
I RECIEVED A LETTER this morning informing me that I had been appointed to a Committee; it did not tell me, however, what the Committee was formed to do, or whether it would ever meet, or whether the members were merely expected to become pen-pals. I am alreadya member of a vast number of committees, associations, commissions, ginger-groups, pepper sprinklers and mustard pots and they rarely expect me to do anything, so I shall lie low and wait until this new Committee shows its hand; if it reveals any disquieting signs of life I shall send the chairman a letter signed with a false name, saying that I am dead, and that will be the end of that.… I find it very useful to be a member of plenty of committees; I can point to the list whenever I am asked to do anything which might involve real work, and ask how I can be expected to shoulder any new duties? In a few more years I am going to begin collecting Vice Presidencies; they ensure that one’s name will be kept high on the official stationery of several important bodies, and it is only once in a blue moon that a Vice President (like Mr. Truman) is called upon to do anything. Besides, in our North American civilization any man over a certain age is expected to be Vice President of a few organizations, if he is not a moron or one of Nature’s secretaries.
• O F J UVENILE L ITERATURE •
I WAS LOOKING through a pile of books this afternoon, which I had not read since I was a boy. To my astonishment I found that I remembered the stories in some detail. But in those days my mind was young and impressionable, and had not been subjected to the horrible wear and tear of book reviewing; nowadays my poor brain is a sort of incinerator, which seizes upon huge amounts of literary garbage, quickly reduces it to ashes, and spits them out, retaining only a disgusting slime upon its walls.… As I leafed over the pages of these boys’ books, I was delighted by the unambiguous style in which they were written, and particularly the way in which the characters were named. When in aboy’s story, you find a character called “Sir Judas Snake” you can be pretty sure that he is up to no good, and will probably get seriously in the way of the hero, who is quite likely to be
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