The Stillness Of You by Julie Bale Page A

grateful that you’re strong enough. I’m grateful that you’re
here.”
    Another
tear slid from my eye and he wiped it away. “You’re not Mom. I get
that now. She never accepted what needed to be fixed but you have,
and you deserve to be happy.”
    I still wasn’t
sure what was happening.
    “You just…” he
said softly.
    “Just
what?”
    “You need to be
honest with him about how you are…how you were, so he knows what
he’s getting into.”
    That was
the surest way to send him running. What twenty-four year old guy
with the world at his feet was going to want to deal with me and my
problems? I exhaled and glanced up at the ceiling. “He doesn’t want
to see me anyway, so you don’t have to worry that I’ll screw up
your golden boy. I haven’t heard anything from him since I
left.”
    “I have.”
    A small
glimmer of hope erupted inside me. It flushed hot and wove through
my body, tingling where it touched. I squirmed and raised my
eyebrows. “What are you saying?”
    Matt
grinned. “Look. He was pissed when he came back from his run and
you were gone. Pissed, and then worried, and then he made it clear
to me that he was going to continue to see you if it’s what you
wanted. He’s not a pussy that’s for sure and I could tell that he
was really into you. I could tell that he meant what he
said.”
    I took
his words and held them close, letting them resonate inside me for
a moment. One blinding, happy, euphoric moment. And then it
passed.
    “He may have
been into me for a few days but he never called or texted
once.”
    “ That’s
because he’s waiting for you to come to him. He wanted to give you
some space and I gotta say, that’s pretty big of him. It’s up to
you, G, but if you want to see Ben he’s out at his new place. Got
the keys yesterday.”
    Matt gave
me a hug before sliding off the bed. “I’m meeting some guys at
O’Reilly’s later, so if you want to borrow my wheels, feel
free.”
    He tossed his
keys onto my dresser and left.
    I stared at
them for so long my vision began to blur and with a groan I rolled
onto the bed, fingering the edge of my pillow as my eyes drifted
toward the sunlight streaming in from the window.
    I wanted
Ben. I wanted him badly.
    But was I
brave enough? Strong enough?
    After a
few moments I rolled back over and got to my feet, taking the three
steps it took to bring me to my dresser. I scooped the keys into my
hands and held my breath, and then something broke apart inside me,
like a little valve had just released. I exhaled
nervously.
    I guess I was
going to find out.

Chapter
Thirteen
     
    Ben
     
     
    I heard the
doorbell from my perch in the back yard just as I cracked open a
cold beer. I was hot, thirsty as hell, and had just doffed my dirty
T-shirt when my sister Eden poked her head outside.
    I had
gone home to Canada for a few days and she’d come back with me. She
was supposedly ‘helping’ me get settled but we both knew that was
bull. She’d just ended a pretty shitty relationship—a guy she had
lived with since college, a guy who had fucked around on her more
than once—and was feeling blue. I had offered her a distraction and
she’d taken it.
    “ Pizza?”
I said, taking another swig. I’d worked my ass off trying to get
the yard cleaned up—cutting back the weeds, running the new riding
lawnmower around like a hillbilly—while she’d sunbathed on the
deck. I had a landscaping crew coming out in a few days to do the
real heavy work, but I couldn’t stand to look at the mess until
then.
    Besides,
I needed an outlet for all the nervous energy that had been
building inside me for days. Ever since that morning with
Georgia.
    Eden
shook her head. “No, sorry I forgot to call our order
in.”
    Her brow
furrowed and she stepped out onto the deck. She wore a skimpy black
bikini top and a pair of old, worn jean shorts. Her long dark hair
was tied loosely on top of her head, her brown eyes direct as she
looked at me.
    “ What?” I
took