The Seventh Voyage of Temperance (The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance Book 7) by Ichabod Temperance

unbearable, my stalwart friend.”
    “Now he is headed for my lovely lagoon! Like, woah, uncool dude! He is kicking my swinging grotto and beautiful rock gardens to smithereens! This is totally bogus!”
    “It’ll be all right, Mr. TiTaupKamaro, sir. We’ll help you rebuild your rock gardens and tropical paradise lagoon back the way you like, just as soon as we get a handle on handling this crisis.”
    “I say, Mr. Temperance, this colossus is too swift for us to keep up our pursuit. I suggest we rest a moment and gather our thoughts, eh hem?”
    “Yes, Ma’am, Miss Plumtartt. This boy ain’t gonna be hard to track. I reckon that even a city-bred, blind-folded, librarian with a head-cold would have the requisite tracking skills needed to follow this prey. Let’s stop and catch our breath.”
    “Hai, Ichsa-bod, it is my observation that this monster will soon tire of the limited manner in which he can express his general anger and rage on this island. I predict that he will soon depart these shores to spread his terror to the rest of the world.”
    “Ehnn-there is nothing that you can do to stop this super-monster! He is the greatest super-monster of all time!”
    “Ach, Laurie Petier is correct! The greatest super-monster in history is unleashed upon an unsuspecting and unprepared world, but thanks to your blundering interferences, instead of being under my dominance, this creature operates in the arena of anarchy!”
    “Oh, Jubei, I feel such shame and sorrow for having been a part of this tragedy. Perhaps I can express my broken heart in this humble haiku:”
    “Super-Monster plague”
    “Sorrow as cold winter wind.”
    “Sad, Rhianico.”
    “Oh my precious Rhianico! You are breaking my samurai heart! I must compose a tender haiku in sympathy with your lovely offering, hai!”
    “Duty, honour, pledge.”
    “Determination ignite.”
    “Chivalry lives on.”
    “No mortal shall show more chivalrous honour than I, Gumibara! I shall write the quintessential haiku for the occasion! Let my genteel and delicate nuances convey the bottomless depths of my perfect empathy!”
    “Sugar river vow.”
    “Tower terror do cower!”
    “Bear without mercy.”
    “Bah, Gumibara, your pathetic attempts at poetics are more clumsy than your dated, and ridiculous, dance maneuvers! Let TiTaupKamaro show you how to swiftly compose the appropriate poem!”
    “Oh, super-monster.”
    “Stompy feet. Long tail unbound.”
    “Island in peril.”
    “Now, don’t you fret, TiTaupKamaro, I am with Gumibara. I’m a reckoning that there must be some way of stopping this super-duper-monster before he goes on a world-wide swath of unstoppable destruction. Maybe I can express my sentiments in strangely strict, rigidly inflexible, numbered, awkward phrasing like y’all did.”
    “Danger Ocean deep”
    “Icky’s shallow pond, floody.”
    “Swim, Bama boy, swim.”
    “Bah! You fools! You have no concept of the ramifications of today’s catastrophe! I laugh at your dilemma brought on by your goody/goody, nosy interference. This disaster for Mankind is all your fault, you collected buffoons! Here is the view of Doctor Cyclops, oops, I mean, Doctor Atwell Lionelstein!”
    “Plan thwarted. Sad Doc.”
    “Last laugh, sweet, final cackle.”
    “Monster stomp on kids.”
    “Ehnn-yes, Herr Dauktor! Ha, ha! This disaster rests firmly upon the shoulders of these meddling kids and monsters! Ha, ha! It is up to you foolish young people, to clean up this mess, ha, ha! Here is what I think of your inconsiderate interference:”
    “Global threat, gory.”
    “Hunchback assistant Petier,”
    “Credit, Miss Laurie.”
    “Dear me, I was so hoping to avoid this little poetic throw-down but if I must, I must, so it would seem, eh hem?”
    “Heavy burden bourne.”
    “Reptile chow, human menu.”
    “Victory avowed.”
    “Bah! Sentimental drivel is all I am hearing. Face it, you are beaten and there is nothing you can do to stop this