The Secret of the Shadow by Debbie Ford

sacrificed by holding on to my grudges?
    If we’re not creating everything we want in our lives, we are probably holding resentment toward someone or something. If we’re not fulfilling all of our desires, we are sabotaging ourselves somewhere. We are still more committed to not having it all than to being happy. If we start fulfilling every desire we have, there will be nobody to make wrong, and without that tie to our past we will be free to live the life of our dreams. When we have let go of our right to be a victim, we will understand that we had the perfect parents who taught us the perfect lessons. We will no longer resent them, no matter how much they misled or mistreated us. Released from the smallness that being a victim ensures, we will stand tall in all our power and all our glory, and we will be grateful for every single incident, both dark and light.
    W h at ’ s Y o u r E x c u s e ?
    Whenever we are making others wrong, we are using them as our excuse not to live our lives to the fullest. As human beings we are masters at inventing excuses to justify the condition of our lives.
    Like a leopard blends into the surrounding jungle, our excuses camouflage themselves as truth. They hide out and whisper quietly in our ears every time we try to go beyond the boundaries of our story. The scary part is that most of us hold our justifications as truths rather than as excuses. In order for us to break free from our 91
    T h e S e c r e t o f t h e S h a d o w stories, we must be willing to expose the excuses we use to hold our stories together. With a discerning eye we need to look at our daily dramas, go through our list of reasons and alibis, and ask, “Is this the truth, or is it just an excuse?”
    In order to begin the life-changing process of dismantling our current reality, we must expose the excuses we use to hold ourselves back and to stop ourselves from manifesting all that we want in life.
    Our excuses act like invisible containers surrounding us, setting the boundaries of where we can go and what we can achieve. Our excuses justify the condition of our lives while making us believe we are powerless to reach the unreachable and attain the unattainable.
    Imagine being surrounded by a clear glass container. Every time we wish to go beyond this invisible boundary we bump up against the glass and slide back to the place where we began. This is what happens when we believe our excuses. Unknowingly we continue to wind up back where we began, because our limitations have been set. They have been programmed deep into our minds, and like any good operating system they are just following instructions. Excuses keep us stuck in our current realities and perpetuate the continuous cycle of our discontent.
    Our excuses can take many forms:
    “It’s never going to happen for me.” “I can’t have it all.” “I’m not good enough, old enough, smart enough.” Or how about “I’m too old, too stupid, too fat, too tired, too [fill in the blank ]” ? Does
    “I’m blocked. I’m stuck. I’m confused. I can’t help it” or “I don’t know how” ring a bell? How about “I’m too lazy. I don’t have enough energy. I’m a procrastinator” or “It will happen in God’s time, not mine”? Maybe your excuse is “I need more education, 92
    r e c l a i m i n g y o u r p o w e r more information, or more help.” Does “I’m not ready, I’ll do it tomorrow, I’ll never be ready” sound familiar? How about “If only I had a different childhood. If only I had a good role model.
    It’s his fault, it’s her fault, if he would just change, if she would just change. I don’t have what it takes. Someone else could definitely do it better”? Is powerlessness familiar? What about “I need help”
    or “If I speak my mind, people won’t like me” or “If I fulfill my highest potential, I’ll be all alone. Haven’t I done enough already”? How do your excuses sound?
    Our personal dramas—our pain, our