said,
“Don’t expect anything more of me.” Looking back at my childhood, I could see that I had a pattern of getting sick, and that that was how I received extra attention from my parents.
I went to bed that evening in awe of my realization, but still feeling like I was coming down with something. As I lay in bed I made a list of all the things I could do to take care of myself instead of getting sick. Closing my eyes and taking a few minutes to go inside, I was easily able to access the answers: What I needed to do was make sure I had plenty of time for myself every week. My 95
T h e S e c r e t o f t h e S h a d o w inner wisdom told me very specifically that I needed to schedule at least one hour each day for nothing but prayer and meditation. In addition, I needed to schedule one day a month, a “Debbie Day,”
for doing things that nurture my well-being.
What I have noticed is that when I am not using my excuses and running myself ragged but instead following my inner guidance, I stay relatively healthy and strong. Many times now I feel like I am coming down with something, but by realizing that getting sick is just my excuse for giving myself attention, I can choose to take the time to give myself the attention I need, even if that means canceling plans and disappointing people. Giving up our excuses propels us into the powerful consciousness of taking responsibility for our lives.
When we take responsibility, we step into the full power of our humanity. We leave behind the limits set by our stories and push beyond our shadow beliefs, those beliefs that tell us, “You can’t.” We step into the potent knowledge that we can co-create our desires and our dreams. Taking responsibility for everything we are is the greatest gift we can give ourselves, because it makes us whole. It empowers us and supports us as we move toward our full potential.
Close your eyes and breathe into this thought: At this moment I have the innate power to change the direction of my life. Do you feel strong or weak? There is nothing more exciting for us than to know that we have the power to change. We get to choose how we want to view the world. Either we are inspired by the possibility of being the co-creators of every event in our lives or we remain victimized by our shadow beliefs, which drain our power, telling us that we don’t deserve to have it all.
96
r e c l a i m i n g y o u r p o w e r Even if you’ve been living inside the story that life has done it to you, when you can say, “I’m doing it to me,” you will have the power to stop it or do it differently. The voice of power says, “I’m doing it. I created it. I’m responsible for it. I can change it.” The voice of powerlessness says, “I can’t help it. They did it to me. I can’t get out of it.” At each and every moment in your life you have the opportunity to choose which world you live in. This is your opportunity to define your world.
Powerful . . . . . . . . Powerless . . . . . . . . You choose.
97
T h e S e c r e t o f t h e S h a d o w H e a l i n g A c t i o n S t e p s 1. Make a list of all the areas in your life where you are experiencing limitation or frustration or where you are not receiving everything you desire. Now close your eyes, breathe deep into your heart, and give yourself permission to be completely honest. With your eyes still closed, ask yourself the following questions, recording in your journal whatever emerges.
Whom do I blame for the condition of my life?
Whom am I getting back at every time I fall short of manifesting my full potential?
What behaviors, addictions, or self-destructive patterns do I use to prove that I have been wronged or mistreated?
What payoff do I receive for making others responsible for my reality? What do I get to pretend, deny, or avoid?
2. On another piece of paper, make a list of all the excuses you use for why you can’t fulfill your heart’s desires. When you are finished, read your
Elaine Golden
T. M. Brenner
James R. Sanford
Guy Stanton III
Robert Muchamore
Ally Carter
James Axler
Jacqueline Sheehan
Belart Wright
Jacinda Buchmann