you had come and we rushed all night to get here. We
were afraid that you were dead. The Nagual told us that you
are the only one we should help and trust. He said that
you are himself."
She covered her face and giggled and then added as an afterthought,
"But that's hard to believe."
"We don't know you," Rosa said. "That's the trouble. The
four of us feel the same way. We were afraid that you were dead and
then when we saw you, we got mad at you for not being dead. Soledad is
like our mother; maybe more than that."
They exchanged conspiratorial looks with each other. I immediately
interpreted that as a sign of trouble. They were up to no good. Lidia noticed
my sudden distrust, which must have been written all
over my face. She reacted with a series of assertions about their desire to help
me. I really had no reason to doubt their sincerity. If they
had wanted to hurt me they could have done so while I was
asleep. She sounded so earnest that I felt petty. I decided to distribute the
gifts I had brought for them. I told them that there were
unimportant trinkets in the packages and that they could
choose any one they liked. Lidia said that they would prefer it if I assigned
the gifts myself. In a very polite tone she added that they would
be grateful if I would also cure Soledad.
"What do you think I should do to cure her?" I asked her after
a long silence.
"Use your double ," she said in a matter-of-fact tone.
I carefully went over the fact that dona Soledad had nearly assassinated
me and that I had survived by the grace of something in me, which was neither
my skill nor my knowledge. As far as I was concerned that
undefined something that seemed to have delivered a blow to her was real,
but unreachable. In short, I could not help dona Soledad any more than I could
walk to the moon.
They listened to me attentively and remained quiet but agitated.
"Where is dona Soledad now?" I asked Lidia.
"She's with la Gorda," she said in a despondent tone.
"La Gorda took her away and is trying to cure her, but
we really don't know where they are. That's the truth."
"And where's Josefina?"
"She went to get the Witness. He is the only one who can cure Soledad. Rosa thinks that you know more than the Witness, but since you're angry with Soledad, you want her dead. We don't blame you."
I assured them that I was not angry with her, and above all I did not
want her dead.
"Cure her, then!" Rosa said in an angry, high-pitched voice.
"The Witness has told us that you always know
what to do, and the Witness can't be wrong."
"And who in the devil is the Witness?"
"Nestor is the Witness," Lidia said as if she were reluctant
to voice his name. "You know that. You have
to."
I remembered that during our last meeting don Genaro had called Nestor
the Witness. I thought at the time that the name was a joke or a
ploy that don Genaro was using to ease the gripping
tension and the anguish of those last moments together.
"That was no joke," Lidia said in a firm tone. "Genaro
and the Nagual followed a different path with the Witness. They took him along
with them everywhere they went. And I mean everywhere! The
Witness has witnessed all there is to witness."
Obviously there was a tremendous misunderstanding between us. I labored
to explain that I was practically a stranger to them. Don Juan had
kept me away from everyone, including Pablito and Nestor.
Outside of the casual hellos and goodbyes that all of them had exchanged with
me over the years, we had never actually talked. I knew all
of them mainly through the descriptions that don Juan had given me. Although I
had once met Josefina I could not remember what she looked like, and all I had
ever seen of la Gorda was her gigantic behind. I said to them that I had not
even known, until the day before, that the four of them were don Juan's
apprentices, and that Benigno was part of the group as well.
They exchanged a coy look with each other. Rosa moved her lips to say
something but Lidia gave her a
were afraid that you were dead. The Nagual told us that you
are the only one we should help and trust. He said that
you are himself."
She covered her face and giggled and then added as an afterthought,
"But that's hard to believe."
"We don't know you," Rosa said. "That's the trouble. The
four of us feel the same way. We were afraid that you were dead and
then when we saw you, we got mad at you for not being dead. Soledad is
like our mother; maybe more than that."
They exchanged conspiratorial looks with each other. I immediately
interpreted that as a sign of trouble. They were up to no good. Lidia noticed
my sudden distrust, which must have been written all
over my face. She reacted with a series of assertions about their desire to help
me. I really had no reason to doubt their sincerity. If they
had wanted to hurt me they could have done so while I was
asleep. She sounded so earnest that I felt petty. I decided to distribute the
gifts I had brought for them. I told them that there were
unimportant trinkets in the packages and that they could
choose any one they liked. Lidia said that they would prefer it if I assigned
the gifts myself. In a very polite tone she added that they would
be grateful if I would also cure Soledad.
"What do you think I should do to cure her?" I asked her after
a long silence.
"Use your double ," she said in a matter-of-fact tone.
I carefully went over the fact that dona Soledad had nearly assassinated
me and that I had survived by the grace of something in me, which was neither
my skill nor my knowledge. As far as I was concerned that
undefined something that seemed to have delivered a blow to her was real,
but unreachable. In short, I could not help dona Soledad any more than I could
walk to the moon.
They listened to me attentively and remained quiet but agitated.
"Where is dona Soledad now?" I asked Lidia.
"She's with la Gorda," she said in a despondent tone.
"La Gorda took her away and is trying to cure her, but
we really don't know where they are. That's the truth."
"And where's Josefina?"
"She went to get the Witness. He is the only one who can cure Soledad. Rosa thinks that you know more than the Witness, but since you're angry with Soledad, you want her dead. We don't blame you."
I assured them that I was not angry with her, and above all I did not
want her dead.
"Cure her, then!" Rosa said in an angry, high-pitched voice.
"The Witness has told us that you always know
what to do, and the Witness can't be wrong."
"And who in the devil is the Witness?"
"Nestor is the Witness," Lidia said as if she were reluctant
to voice his name. "You know that. You have
to."
I remembered that during our last meeting don Genaro had called Nestor
the Witness. I thought at the time that the name was a joke or a
ploy that don Genaro was using to ease the gripping
tension and the anguish of those last moments together.
"That was no joke," Lidia said in a firm tone. "Genaro
and the Nagual followed a different path with the Witness. They took him along
with them everywhere they went. And I mean everywhere! The
Witness has witnessed all there is to witness."
Obviously there was a tremendous misunderstanding between us. I labored
to explain that I was practically a stranger to them. Don Juan had
kept me away from everyone, including Pablito and Nestor.
Outside of the casual hellos and goodbyes that all of them had exchanged with
me over the years, we had never actually talked. I knew all
of them mainly through the descriptions that don Juan had given me. Although I
had once met Josefina I could not remember what she looked like, and all I had
ever seen of la Gorda was her gigantic behind. I said to them that I had not
even known, until the day before, that the four of them were don Juan's
apprentices, and that Benigno was part of the group as well.
They exchanged a coy look with each other. Rosa moved her lips to say
something but Lidia gave her a
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