The Lighter Side of Life and Death by C. K. Kelly Martin Page B

approvingly. “See you then.”
    It turns out Kat, Sondra and Michelle aren’t at lunch anyway. Kat was late for history earlier so we never got the chance to talk and now Jamie sits between Y and Z in the cafeteria, pretending that I’m an empty chair. It’s exactly what I expected of him after what happened this morning, but I don’t let on that it bothers me. Zoe’s nearer to me than Yolanda and she talks to me in spurts, zipping in and out of the conversation to rejoin the parallel one happening on her other side. She tells me that her mother advised her to start watching what she eats because her thighs and breasts are starting to get big.
    “Isn’t that called puberty?” I ask, glancing quickly at her chest. I’m tired of defending myself—it’s a relief to be able to talk about anything else.
    “I know, right?” Zoe pulls her top tight across her back and juts out her breasts for me. “They’re not even C cups. She says she’s looking out for me because she was fat in high school and it was horrible, but I’ve seen her photos and she wasn’t anywhere close tofat.” Zoe rakes her Caesar salad, the moody Z hovering overhead, preparing to take possession.
    “Don’t listen to that bullshit,” I tell her. “Your mom is psycho, Zoe. She’d criticize a dentist for not brushing his teeth right.”
    I picked that up from my dad, and Zoe smirks and says, “She wouldn’t, actually. She’s not like that around other people.”
    After lunch Yolanda and I have Presentation and Speaking Skills together and on the way she tells me she’s so frustrated with Zoe’s mom these days that she doesn’t even know what to say to Zoe about it anymore. “When her mom answers the phone it takes all my willpower not to scream at her that she’s toxic, selfish and emotionally retarded. The only thing stopping me is that Zoe and I would never be able to see each other again but I swear to God, if we ever break up I’ll do it in a second.”
    Z’s mom doesn’t know the truth about their relationship, not because she’s homophobic but because Z’s afraid her mom’s criticism would suddenly sharp-focus on Y and that would be harder to deal with than keeping their relationship under wraps.
    Our conversation gets me thinking about Colette again, not that I ever really stopped. She’s like a movie constantly running in the background. I keep seeing her face, that strange look in her eyes after I kissed her. I wonder how much difference it would make if we didn’t have to worry about Andrea and Nina. What if I was just some random sixteen-year-old guy she met at the mall?
    Miscellaneous Colette-related thoughts loop through my mind all afternoon. I’m so lost in my own head that I don’t notice Kat coming at me in the hall after final bell. She’s six feet away before I jolt back into the real world. Her wide brown eyes seek out mine as she says, “I wanted to catch up with you before you left today.”
    “Okay,” I say, surprised. Seems to me she’s been trying toachieve just the opposite lately. “But if it’s going to be anything like the discussion I had with Jamie this morning I’d just rather skip it, all right?”
    “He’s being weird with me too,” she says hurriedly. “Can you come outside with me? There’re some things I want to say but it’s not going to be like your talk with Jamie, I promise.”
    We slip out the nearest set of doors and edge away from the buses until we’re standing by an unclaimed patch of brick wall.
    “So what did Jamie say to you, anyway?” Kat asks, looking worried.
    I throw one of my hands up into the air as if to say it doesn’t matter, but she doesn’t understand—this still feels like life and death to her. “He’s really pissed with me,” I reply. It’s hard to feel the least bit generous towards him today, but when it comes down to it the one thing I genuinely care about in all this is my friendship with both of them. Maybe getting things out in the