The Lighter Side of Life and Death by C. K. Kelly Martin Page A

truth is I feel a little sorry for him. He’s been into Kat for so long and this can’t be doing his ego any good. It was okay when we could mouth off about her shitty taste in guys together. Now everything’s been whacked off balance because even though Kat doesn’t want to hear about it, she remembers that night and it was me there with her. More than that, it was good.
    So I walk over to the bleachers, say hi to Yolanda and ask Jamie if we can talk a minute. Jamie tries to look bored. He tells Y that he’ll catch up with her later, his voice weary like he’s doing me a favor. Once she’s gone he folds his arms in front of him, freezing his eyes on me. “Look, whatever, okay,” he says cynically. “I don’t give a shit anymore.”
    “Bullshit.”
    Jamie blinks but his eyes don’t move. “Say whatever you want, Mason. It doesn’t change anything.” His fingers dig into his sleeves. “You could’ve at least told me, you know?”
    “You know what really pisses me off about this?” My molars clamp down as I look at him. “You accuse me of getting her loaded or something and then …” My right hand slices through the air in frustration. “You think I’d do something like that?” I’m aggravated all over again. He should’ve been the one to start this conversation. Why did I come over here?
    Jamie gives me a James Dean squint and drives his fingers through his hair. “You’re not flipping this over on me,” he saysunapologetically. “Don’t even try. You know you should’ve said something. All these years the three of us have been friends and you think you can just—”
    “I wasn’t going to tell anyone,” I cut in. “This wasn’t about you, and I know it sucks because we’re talking about Kat but the truth is it sucks for me too. She’s hardly spoken to me the past few weeks. It took Monica Gregory getting
scouted
to get her to look me in the eyes.”
    Jamie squeezes his eyes shut, short on sympathy. “Man, sucks to be you,” he says sarcastically.
    “Apparently not as much as it sucks to be you,” I shoot back. “Shit.” I glance down at the overgrown grass under my feet. “This is stupid. It didn’t mean anything in the first place, except that maybe she wanted revenge on Hugo, and now it’s over and she obviously wishes it never happened.”
    “But it did happen,” Jamie says quietly.
    “I know. But it’s done. It’s over with. It feels like it happened about a hundred years ago.” My apologetic tone comes as a shock. Why am I still trying to justify myself? I don’t regret what happened and I have nothing to be sorry about.
    “I hate when you get like this. Can’t anyone ever be mad at you?” Jamie kicks at the grass with his shoe. “You get the girl and I’m still supposed to feel sorry for you? What the fuck is that?”
    Get the girl?
Is he kidding me? I’m treading water here, getting nowhere. He doesn’t understand that my night with Kat is history.
    “Forget I came over here this morning,” I mutter, beginning to back away. “Bury your head in the sand and feel sorry for yourself if that’s what you want.”
    Jamie shifts his weight and stares blankly. “You crossed a line. You know it.”
    I’m not even sure whose line he’s talking about—Kat’s or his—butwe’re done talking it over. “See you later, Jamie,” I say, and this time I don’t sound sorry or mad. I’m finished butting my head against a brick wall and Jamie knows it. He shrugs and turns his face away.
    I’m walking off in Mr. Stafford’s direction, my thoughts drifting away from Jamie and Kat and back towards Colette, when Miracle grabs hold of my arm.
    “I’ve heard a lot of crap that I don’t even want to repeat,” she says breathlessly. “I just wanted you to know that I’m in if you want to bail on lunch today.”
    “Thanks, but I’m still going to the cafeteria.” Otherwise I’ll feel like I’m advertising a guilty conscience.
    “Cool,” Miracle sings