this very seriously.”
“I am and so are my partners. The problem is that it appears the guy is on our police force in some capacity. I just don’t know who I can trust, or who to suspect.”
She smiled gently at Laura. “Who is your gut telling you to trust?”
“At first no one, because I was so frightened. Now that I’m thinking straight, I know I can trust my partners and my Captain. I also trust my ME, Dr. Ralph Foote. We’ve narrowed it down to someone who has moved into our city within the last year. So, basically, I might be able to trust anyone who has been here longer than that. But it’s really hard getting out there, now that I know he’s watching me. You know the issues I have with trust. Between my father and Alan, I have very little left. Then there are all the feelings I have about the mistreatment of women in society, and these crime scenes look like they are straight out of a sadistic porn movie! This guy is pushing every button I have!”
Dr. Walsh made a note on her pad. “How are you handling all of those different feelings?”
“When I’m working I’m fine. I’m focused on the case. It’s when I’m home alone with my thoughts that it’s hard to cope. Now that I’ve been threatened, I’m wearing a tracking device and have to inform Captain Rutledge of my every move. That’s also bringing up my independence issues.”
“Whose idea was it that you come here?”
“It was mine. I know when I can’t handle things on my own. You taught me that.”
“Good, if you were coming here because you got forced into it, that wouldn’t be healthy for you. As I remember, one of your issues was being able to ask for help without seeing it as a form of weakness. I’m happy to see that you picked up the phone on your own.”
“I still think of it as weakness, but now I can recognize that my own stubborn attitude gets me nowhere, fast. Do you think it’s weakness to be frightened by this man?”
“Considering that caution is never a weakness, you already know the answer to that question, don’t you?”
“Yes, I need to respect the danger as if it was a rattlesnake, but not let the fear incapacitate me to the point where I can’t do my job. It’s just that I don’t want to appear vulnerable at work right now. We have no idea who this killer is. He could be anyone, and I don’t want to show weakness around my adversary.”
“What have you done that you consider showing weakness?”
Laura looked down at her lap. “I cried in front of Dan.”
“I’ve never heard you talk about him. Who is Dan?”
“He’s the new detective in our department.”
“And do you suspect him of being your killer, because he’s new?”
“Oh no, not Dan! He’s been on our force for several years. He just transferred into Homicide a few months ago. I feel completely safe around him, maybe a little too safe.”
“What does that mean?”
“Everyone thinks he’s sweet on me. I’ve been having these romantic thoughts about him lately and then scolding myself in the mirror.”
“Your HIV tests are still coming back negative?”
Laura shook her head vigorously. “Yes, fortunately.”
“Then you could start a relationship.”
“That’s what Ralph has been telling me. I just don’t know if I’m ready to take that risk again. I still have mornings when I wake up hating Alan for what he did.”
“I understand, just keep working on that. Only you will know when you’re ready. In the mean time, is there a rush to make a decision?”
She shook her head back and forth slowly. “No.”
“How did it feel to cry in front of him?”
“It felt surprisingly safe. I feel more comfortable around this man than I have ever felt with anyone. He understands me. Maybe because he had three sisters and knows how women think, but I feel like I could tell him anything.”
“Have you told him how you feel about him?”
A look of panic came across Laura’s face. “Absolutely not!”
“If you can
“I am and so are my partners. The problem is that it appears the guy is on our police force in some capacity. I just don’t know who I can trust, or who to suspect.”
She smiled gently at Laura. “Who is your gut telling you to trust?”
“At first no one, because I was so frightened. Now that I’m thinking straight, I know I can trust my partners and my Captain. I also trust my ME, Dr. Ralph Foote. We’ve narrowed it down to someone who has moved into our city within the last year. So, basically, I might be able to trust anyone who has been here longer than that. But it’s really hard getting out there, now that I know he’s watching me. You know the issues I have with trust. Between my father and Alan, I have very little left. Then there are all the feelings I have about the mistreatment of women in society, and these crime scenes look like they are straight out of a sadistic porn movie! This guy is pushing every button I have!”
Dr. Walsh made a note on her pad. “How are you handling all of those different feelings?”
“When I’m working I’m fine. I’m focused on the case. It’s when I’m home alone with my thoughts that it’s hard to cope. Now that I’ve been threatened, I’m wearing a tracking device and have to inform Captain Rutledge of my every move. That’s also bringing up my independence issues.”
“Whose idea was it that you come here?”
“It was mine. I know when I can’t handle things on my own. You taught me that.”
“Good, if you were coming here because you got forced into it, that wouldn’t be healthy for you. As I remember, one of your issues was being able to ask for help without seeing it as a form of weakness. I’m happy to see that you picked up the phone on your own.”
“I still think of it as weakness, but now I can recognize that my own stubborn attitude gets me nowhere, fast. Do you think it’s weakness to be frightened by this man?”
“Considering that caution is never a weakness, you already know the answer to that question, don’t you?”
“Yes, I need to respect the danger as if it was a rattlesnake, but not let the fear incapacitate me to the point where I can’t do my job. It’s just that I don’t want to appear vulnerable at work right now. We have no idea who this killer is. He could be anyone, and I don’t want to show weakness around my adversary.”
“What have you done that you consider showing weakness?”
Laura looked down at her lap. “I cried in front of Dan.”
“I’ve never heard you talk about him. Who is Dan?”
“He’s the new detective in our department.”
“And do you suspect him of being your killer, because he’s new?”
“Oh no, not Dan! He’s been on our force for several years. He just transferred into Homicide a few months ago. I feel completely safe around him, maybe a little too safe.”
“What does that mean?”
“Everyone thinks he’s sweet on me. I’ve been having these romantic thoughts about him lately and then scolding myself in the mirror.”
“Your HIV tests are still coming back negative?”
Laura shook her head vigorously. “Yes, fortunately.”
“Then you could start a relationship.”
“That’s what Ralph has been telling me. I just don’t know if I’m ready to take that risk again. I still have mornings when I wake up hating Alan for what he did.”
“I understand, just keep working on that. Only you will know when you’re ready. In the mean time, is there a rush to make a decision?”
She shook her head back and forth slowly. “No.”
“How did it feel to cry in front of him?”
“It felt surprisingly safe. I feel more comfortable around this man than I have ever felt with anyone. He understands me. Maybe because he had three sisters and knows how women think, but I feel like I could tell him anything.”
“Have you told him how you feel about him?”
A look of panic came across Laura’s face. “Absolutely not!”
“If you can
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