hook.'
'Gets us on it if you ask me,' said Frensic grimly. 'Anyway where are you? Why the call
box?'
'We're going down to Southampton,' said Sonia. 'Now, before he changes his mind again. There's
a spare berth on the QE2 and she's sailing tomorrow. I'm not taking any more chances. We're
sailing with her if I have to bribe my way on board. And if that doesn't work I'm going to keep
him holed up in a hotel where the press can't get at him until we have him word-perfect on what
he's to say about Pause.'
'Word-perfect? You make him sound like a performing parrot '
But Sonia had rung off and was back in the car driving down the road to Southampton.
The next morning a bemused and weary Piper walked unsteadily up the gangway and down to his
cabin. Sonia stopped at the Purser's Office. She had a telegram to send to Hutchmeyer.
Chapter 8
In New York MacMordie, Hutchmeyer's Senior Executive Assistant, brought him the
telegram.
'So they're coming early,' said Hutchmeyer. 'Makes no difference. Just got to get this ball
moving a bit quicker is all. Now then, MacMordie, I want you to organize the biggest
demonstration you can. And I mean the biggest. You got any angles?'
'With a book like that the only angle I've got is Senior Citizens mobbing him like he's the
Beatles.'
'Senior Citizens don't mob the Beatles.'
'Okay, so he's Valentino come to life. Whoever. Some great star of the twenties.'
Hutchmeyer nodded. 'That's more like it,' he said. 'The nostalgia angle. But that's not
enough. Senior Citizens you don't get much impact.'
'Absolutely none,' said MacMordie. 'Now if this guy Piper was a gay liberationist Jew-baiter
with a nigger boyfriend from Cuba called O'Hara I could really call up some muscle. But with a
product that screws old women...'
'MacMordie, how often have I got to tell you what the product is and what the action is are
two separate things? There doesn't have to be any connection. You've got to get coverage any way
you can.'
'Yes but with a British author nobody's ever heard of and a first-timer who wants to
know?'
'I do,' said Hutchmeyer. 'I do and I want a hundred million TV viewers to know too. And I mean
know. This guy Piper has to be famous this time next week and I don't care how. You can do what
you like just so long as when he steps ashore it's like Lindbergh's flown the Atlantic first
time. So you get yourself a pussy posse and every pressure group and lobby you can find and see
he gets charisma.'
'Charisma?' said MacMordie doubtfully. 'With the picture we've got of him for the cover you
want charisma too? He looks sick or something.'
'So he's sick! Who cares what he looks like? All that matters is he becomes the spinster's
prayer overnight. Get Women's Lib involved, and that's a good idea of yours about the fags.'
'We get a lot of little old ladies and the Ms brigade and the gays down on the docks could be
we'd have a riot on our hands.'
'That's right,' said Hutchmeyer, 'a riot. Throw the lot at him. A cop gets hurt is good. And
some old lady has a coronary, that's good too. She gets pushed in the drink is better still. By
the time we've finished with his image this Piper's going to be like he was pied.'
'Pied?' said MacMordie.
'With rats for Chrissake.'
'Rats? You want rats too?'
Hutchmeyer looked at him dolefully. 'Sometimes, MacMordie, I think you've just got to be
goddam illiterate,' he snarled. 'Anyone would think you'd never heard of Edgar Allan Poe. And
another thing. When Piper's finished stirring the shit publicitywise down here I want him put on
the plane up to Maine. Baby wants to meet him.'
'Mrs Hutchmeyer wants to meet this jerk?' said MacMordie.
Hutchmeyer nodded helplessly. 'Right. Like she was crazy for me to get her that guy who wrote
about cracking his whip all the time. What the fuck was his name?'
'Portnoy,' said MacMordie. 'We couldn't get him. He wouldn't come.'
'Was that surprising? It was a wonder he could
'Gets us on it if you ask me,' said Frensic grimly. 'Anyway where are you? Why the call
box?'
'We're going down to Southampton,' said Sonia. 'Now, before he changes his mind again. There's
a spare berth on the QE2 and she's sailing tomorrow. I'm not taking any more chances. We're
sailing with her if I have to bribe my way on board. And if that doesn't work I'm going to keep
him holed up in a hotel where the press can't get at him until we have him word-perfect on what
he's to say about Pause.'
'Word-perfect? You make him sound like a performing parrot '
But Sonia had rung off and was back in the car driving down the road to Southampton.
The next morning a bemused and weary Piper walked unsteadily up the gangway and down to his
cabin. Sonia stopped at the Purser's Office. She had a telegram to send to Hutchmeyer.
Chapter 8
In New York MacMordie, Hutchmeyer's Senior Executive Assistant, brought him the
telegram.
'So they're coming early,' said Hutchmeyer. 'Makes no difference. Just got to get this ball
moving a bit quicker is all. Now then, MacMordie, I want you to organize the biggest
demonstration you can. And I mean the biggest. You got any angles?'
'With a book like that the only angle I've got is Senior Citizens mobbing him like he's the
Beatles.'
'Senior Citizens don't mob the Beatles.'
'Okay, so he's Valentino come to life. Whoever. Some great star of the twenties.'
Hutchmeyer nodded. 'That's more like it,' he said. 'The nostalgia angle. But that's not
enough. Senior Citizens you don't get much impact.'
'Absolutely none,' said MacMordie. 'Now if this guy Piper was a gay liberationist Jew-baiter
with a nigger boyfriend from Cuba called O'Hara I could really call up some muscle. But with a
product that screws old women...'
'MacMordie, how often have I got to tell you what the product is and what the action is are
two separate things? There doesn't have to be any connection. You've got to get coverage any way
you can.'
'Yes but with a British author nobody's ever heard of and a first-timer who wants to
know?'
'I do,' said Hutchmeyer. 'I do and I want a hundred million TV viewers to know too. And I mean
know. This guy Piper has to be famous this time next week and I don't care how. You can do what
you like just so long as when he steps ashore it's like Lindbergh's flown the Atlantic first
time. So you get yourself a pussy posse and every pressure group and lobby you can find and see
he gets charisma.'
'Charisma?' said MacMordie doubtfully. 'With the picture we've got of him for the cover you
want charisma too? He looks sick or something.'
'So he's sick! Who cares what he looks like? All that matters is he becomes the spinster's
prayer overnight. Get Women's Lib involved, and that's a good idea of yours about the fags.'
'We get a lot of little old ladies and the Ms brigade and the gays down on the docks could be
we'd have a riot on our hands.'
'That's right,' said Hutchmeyer, 'a riot. Throw the lot at him. A cop gets hurt is good. And
some old lady has a coronary, that's good too. She gets pushed in the drink is better still. By
the time we've finished with his image this Piper's going to be like he was pied.'
'Pied?' said MacMordie.
'With rats for Chrissake.'
'Rats? You want rats too?'
Hutchmeyer looked at him dolefully. 'Sometimes, MacMordie, I think you've just got to be
goddam illiterate,' he snarled. 'Anyone would think you'd never heard of Edgar Allan Poe. And
another thing. When Piper's finished stirring the shit publicitywise down here I want him put on
the plane up to Maine. Baby wants to meet him.'
'Mrs Hutchmeyer wants to meet this jerk?' said MacMordie.
Hutchmeyer nodded helplessly. 'Right. Like she was crazy for me to get her that guy who wrote
about cracking his whip all the time. What the fuck was his name?'
'Portnoy,' said MacMordie. 'We couldn't get him. He wouldn't come.'
'Was that surprising? It was a wonder he could
Similar Books
