The Fear and Anxiety Solution by PhD Friedemann MD Schaub
Authors: PhD Friedemann MD Schaub
Ads: Link
preferences. As I’ve said before, I believe that our subconscious is in many ways superior to our conscious mind, but it still requires our conscious input to operate and support us in the most beneficial way.
Closing the Gap
Despite all your efforts, if you have felt anxious and insecure for a long time, you may not be able to imagine how it will feel to be confident and joyful again. The gap may seem so wide that you can’t envision leaping across it, let alone believe you’ll ever be on the other side. If this is the case for you, it can be very useful to define the substages that will bridge the gap between where you are now and where you want to end up.
For example, focus on feeling a bit of hope or being a little calmer or more relaxed for at least part of the day. Then focus on being willing to give your inner-change work a good effort. Once you have been able to climb to higher emotional levels, you can then concentrate on appreciating some of the success you’ve had so far, which will get you closer to confidence and self-empowerment.
Don’t rush or push yourself. Take your time and make sure that each of the emotional stepping stones you’re advancing to feels solid and stable. Patience is a powerful ally on your path to change. As you contemplate your goals, keep in mind that at any time you can go back and adjust them. With a greater understanding of yourself, you will gain greater clarity of your ambitions and desires.
QUESTION 3: HOW WILL YOU KNOW THAT YOU’VE REACHED YOUR GOALS?
Although it may appear redundant at first glance, this question is different from the previous one, “What do you want?” The former provides the generaldirection. If you don’t know where you want to go, it’s difficult to know if you’ve arrived. The question “How will you know that you’ve reached your goals?” asks you to focus on specific convincers, the evidence that clearly indicates to you that you’ve reached your destination and accomplished your intentions.
How You Know You Are in Paris
As an analogy, let’s say you want to travel to Paris. As soon as you spot the Eiffel Tower, you know that you’ve arrived in the City of Lights. This landmark is what convinces you that you’re in Paris. But would just knowing you’re in Paris fulfill your dreams of traveling there? Would you then turn back toward the airport, telling yourself, “Been there, done that”? Probably not, because arriving in Paris isn’t enough for you. There’s so much more you want to explore and experience: the Louvre, Notre Dame, Sacré-Coeur Basilica, and all that delicious food.
Convincers are the landmarks, the specific ingredients that make the difference between where you are now and where you want to be. They need to be specific, enticing, and, ideally, measurable. Convincers give your motivation toward your destination an additional boost.
Your “what do you want?” goals could be to feel confident and relaxed and to go about life in self-empowered ways. What would demonstrate to you that you’ve achieved these goals? Maybe you are able to stay calm and secure during a performance review with your boss. Maybe you can talk comfortably with complete strangers during a party. If procrastination is a part of your anxiety challenge, perhaps you’ve paid your bills on time and followed through with all your commitments for at least three months in a row.
Convincers define in more detail the parameters for success. We all thrive on success, on achieving what we’ve set out to do. Success reassures us that we have potential and capabilities. It provides us with the motivation to keep going or aim for even higher goals. But what or who usually defines success for you? Are you truly self-reliant and do you decide for yourself whether you’ve succeeded or failed? Or do you tend to let others make that call because you don’t have enough trust in your own judgment? There is hardly anything more personal than the journey of
Closing the Gap
Despite all your efforts, if you have felt anxious and insecure for a long time, you may not be able to imagine how it will feel to be confident and joyful again. The gap may seem so wide that you can’t envision leaping across it, let alone believe you’ll ever be on the other side. If this is the case for you, it can be very useful to define the substages that will bridge the gap between where you are now and where you want to end up.
For example, focus on feeling a bit of hope or being a little calmer or more relaxed for at least part of the day. Then focus on being willing to give your inner-change work a good effort. Once you have been able to climb to higher emotional levels, you can then concentrate on appreciating some of the success you’ve had so far, which will get you closer to confidence and self-empowerment.
Don’t rush or push yourself. Take your time and make sure that each of the emotional stepping stones you’re advancing to feels solid and stable. Patience is a powerful ally on your path to change. As you contemplate your goals, keep in mind that at any time you can go back and adjust them. With a greater understanding of yourself, you will gain greater clarity of your ambitions and desires.
QUESTION 3: HOW WILL YOU KNOW THAT YOU’VE REACHED YOUR GOALS?
Although it may appear redundant at first glance, this question is different from the previous one, “What do you want?” The former provides the generaldirection. If you don’t know where you want to go, it’s difficult to know if you’ve arrived. The question “How will you know that you’ve reached your goals?” asks you to focus on specific convincers, the evidence that clearly indicates to you that you’ve reached your destination and accomplished your intentions.
How You Know You Are in Paris
As an analogy, let’s say you want to travel to Paris. As soon as you spot the Eiffel Tower, you know that you’ve arrived in the City of Lights. This landmark is what convinces you that you’re in Paris. But would just knowing you’re in Paris fulfill your dreams of traveling there? Would you then turn back toward the airport, telling yourself, “Been there, done that”? Probably not, because arriving in Paris isn’t enough for you. There’s so much more you want to explore and experience: the Louvre, Notre Dame, Sacré-Coeur Basilica, and all that delicious food.
Convincers are the landmarks, the specific ingredients that make the difference between where you are now and where you want to be. They need to be specific, enticing, and, ideally, measurable. Convincers give your motivation toward your destination an additional boost.
Your “what do you want?” goals could be to feel confident and relaxed and to go about life in self-empowered ways. What would demonstrate to you that you’ve achieved these goals? Maybe you are able to stay calm and secure during a performance review with your boss. Maybe you can talk comfortably with complete strangers during a party. If procrastination is a part of your anxiety challenge, perhaps you’ve paid your bills on time and followed through with all your commitments for at least three months in a row.
Convincers define in more detail the parameters for success. We all thrive on success, on achieving what we’ve set out to do. Success reassures us that we have potential and capabilities. It provides us with the motivation to keep going or aim for even higher goals. But what or who usually defines success for you? Are you truly self-reliant and do you decide for yourself whether you’ve succeeded or failed? Or do you tend to let others make that call because you don’t have enough trust in your own judgment? There is hardly anything more personal than the journey of
Similar Books
