The Fear and Anxiety Solution by PhD Friedemann MD Schaub Page B
Authors: PhD Friedemann MD Schaub
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comfortable there than it does to change. Maybe you’re telling yourself impatiently, “This is too hard” and let the momentary lack of trust and drive break your momentum. These are just some of the usual suspects, which, if you don’t have strong enough reasons to maintain your goals, might tempt you to give up and retreat to the old comfort zone. The
why
question is your litmus test for finding out whether or not you’re ready to jump off the fence and truly go ahead and change. Is there enough energy behind your decision to move forward?
Behind most of our activities is the driving force of a powerful
why,
which keeps us going even during times when we would rather stay in bed or take a vacation. The
whys
are closely connected to our core values and function as a stable, foundational current, although they are not always in the forefront of our minds.
How many mothers or fathers do you know who’ve forgotten what it means to relax and let themselves be taken care of because during the few moments they’re not changing diapers, cooking, cleaning, driving to soccer practice, and maybe working at another job, they’re thinking about what else needs to be done? How many small business owners do you know who sacrifice all theirtime and energy to keep their enterprise going? What about diehard marathon runners who repeatedly endure the pain and agony of grueling, long-distance races? How many of those people actually gave up their kids, their businesses, or their runs?
None of them, right? Or at least they didn’t without extenuating circumstances. But while they pursued their missions and objectives, there were also those moments when they had to dig inside and somehow find additional energy and resources to get over obstacles and keep themselves forging forward. And when the greatest push and effort were required—just when they were digging the deepest—a little voice inside asked, “Why am I doing this?” Their answers could be, “Because I want my kids to be happy and healthy,” “Because I want my business to succeed,” or “Because I love to run, love to finish.” I’m sure you had similar experiences yourself. The strength and resilience of the human spirit is astonishing. And it’s the
whys
behind what we do that allow us to tap into that strength.
Twelve years ago, realizing
why
helped me go beyond my perceived limitations and ultimately change my life. I was in the high desert of New Mexico at a kundalini yoga retreat. It was my birthday, and I was bracing myself for a long day of meditation and exercise with 1,600 other yogis and yoginis. Soon it became clear that, unlike us, the air wouldn’t move all day. By 9:30 a.m., the temperature had climbed to 100 degrees.
Still, I felt ready for the first of many challenging and invigorating meditations. Keep in mind this was not the sitting-on-a-pillow-and-letting-your-thoughts-float-away kind of meditation. Part of the philosophy of this retreat was that by going through physically demanding exercises, we could overcome mental blocks and clear our psyches of emotional baggage. I admit this was a rather heroic approach, given the heat and the fact that each posture is supposed to be held for either thirty-one or sixty-two minutes straight. But it worked for me. As soon as the amnesia kicked in, letting me forget the pain, I decided to return each year.
The facilitator didn’t know it was my birthday, so he didn’t cut me any slack—and I am certain he wouldn’t even if he knew. The first meditation he introduced involved holding up our arms at a sixty-degree angle while chanting a specific mantra and locking eyes with the person sitting opposite us for
only
sixty-two minutes. Murmurs of disbelief and nervous laughter went through the room. Everybody held onto the slim hope that the facilitator was joking.But since he never joked and offered not even the faintest smile, all we could do was to surrender to our inevitable fate.
During the
why
question is your litmus test for finding out whether or not you’re ready to jump off the fence and truly go ahead and change. Is there enough energy behind your decision to move forward?
Behind most of our activities is the driving force of a powerful
why,
which keeps us going even during times when we would rather stay in bed or take a vacation. The
whys
are closely connected to our core values and function as a stable, foundational current, although they are not always in the forefront of our minds.
How many mothers or fathers do you know who’ve forgotten what it means to relax and let themselves be taken care of because during the few moments they’re not changing diapers, cooking, cleaning, driving to soccer practice, and maybe working at another job, they’re thinking about what else needs to be done? How many small business owners do you know who sacrifice all theirtime and energy to keep their enterprise going? What about diehard marathon runners who repeatedly endure the pain and agony of grueling, long-distance races? How many of those people actually gave up their kids, their businesses, or their runs?
None of them, right? Or at least they didn’t without extenuating circumstances. But while they pursued their missions and objectives, there were also those moments when they had to dig inside and somehow find additional energy and resources to get over obstacles and keep themselves forging forward. And when the greatest push and effort were required—just when they were digging the deepest—a little voice inside asked, “Why am I doing this?” Their answers could be, “Because I want my kids to be happy and healthy,” “Because I want my business to succeed,” or “Because I love to run, love to finish.” I’m sure you had similar experiences yourself. The strength and resilience of the human spirit is astonishing. And it’s the
whys
behind what we do that allow us to tap into that strength.
Twelve years ago, realizing
why
helped me go beyond my perceived limitations and ultimately change my life. I was in the high desert of New Mexico at a kundalini yoga retreat. It was my birthday, and I was bracing myself for a long day of meditation and exercise with 1,600 other yogis and yoginis. Soon it became clear that, unlike us, the air wouldn’t move all day. By 9:30 a.m., the temperature had climbed to 100 degrees.
Still, I felt ready for the first of many challenging and invigorating meditations. Keep in mind this was not the sitting-on-a-pillow-and-letting-your-thoughts-float-away kind of meditation. Part of the philosophy of this retreat was that by going through physically demanding exercises, we could overcome mental blocks and clear our psyches of emotional baggage. I admit this was a rather heroic approach, given the heat and the fact that each posture is supposed to be held for either thirty-one or sixty-two minutes straight. But it worked for me. As soon as the amnesia kicked in, letting me forget the pain, I decided to return each year.
The facilitator didn’t know it was my birthday, so he didn’t cut me any slack—and I am certain he wouldn’t even if he knew. The first meditation he introduced involved holding up our arms at a sixty-degree angle while chanting a specific mantra and locking eyes with the person sitting opposite us for
only
sixty-two minutes. Murmurs of disbelief and nervous laughter went through the room. Everybody held onto the slim hope that the facilitator was joking.But since he never joked and offered not even the faintest smile, all we could do was to surrender to our inevitable fate.
During the
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