The Empress's New Lingerie and Other Erotic Fairy Tales by Hillary Rollins

could barely straddle the entire breadth of him, but once she was settled in the saddle it was a very comfortable ride indeed. She rode and rode like a stuck pig, bouncing up and down on his curly tail, grabbing handfuls of his fleshy midriff to use as reins while she steadied herself for the shattering climax. She felt the delightful opposites of his burning volcanic rock penis on her insides and the cool, shifting sands of his ample belly sloshing beneath her. She wouldn’t let him come, the avaricious Miss Candy Wolfe, but she came all over him, basting his ham hocks until the juices ran clear. Then she quickly rolled off her perch.
    â€œNooooo,” cried the frustrated shoat, whose testes were bluer than ever, “No, no, n-o-o-o-!”
    â€œAw, what’s the matter my little weanling? I won’t leave you all greased up with nowhere to slide, I promise! But I wouldn’t want you to impregnate me with a litter of little piglets, now would I? They’d all be lazy, worthless slovenly sloths, just like their fat, filthy sire! No, no, instead of letting you come inside me, little piggy, I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow you down!”
    She crawled upon his massive chest and unhinged her acrobatic jaw. Then she swallowed down his purple meat in one delicious gulp. As he spewed himself into her throat, he squealed with unmatched delight.
    â€œOink, oink…oinkle!”
    â€œYou see?” she chortled as she swallowed his cum. “This way there’s no sticky mess to clean up.”
    And from that day forward, Hayman became an impeccable housekeeper whose cleanliness was so pleasing to women they nearly always agreed to help him avoid a sticky mess in just this manner.

    Next the wolverina visited Woodman’s pleasure palace. Of course entering his abode proved no problem whatsoever, as the insatiable hog could never turn a beautiful female away from his door.
    â€œKnock, knock, Mr. Woodman!” she murmured through the keyhole in her most seductive growl. He welcomed the exquisite beast into his inner sanctum with an elegant flourish.
    â€œCome in, come in. What can I do for you, my pretty young thing?”
    â€œWhy, I want nothing more than to eat you, kind sir!”
    â€œHow delightful,” he grunted, and he stripped down to his naked hide. “Enjoy your feast, and do not quit until you reach the hairs on my chinny chin chin!”
    But Candy’s plan was not to simply indulge this faithless fellow in his selfish pleasure. He needed to pay for his pig-like behavior toward women, and to this end she whipped out her trusty ropes and informed him that he was to be hogtied before being led to delightful slaughter. Accustomed as he was to the gratification of all sorts of sexual urges in all sorts of women, Woodman assumed this was simply a harmless proclivity that amused the lady, so he offered no resistance. He chuckled good naturedly and held his wrists out in front of him to receive the rough twine bindings. But to his surprise, Candy did not proceed with the shackling.
    â€œIt’s not that simple, pig. I have no beef with your romantic history, but there are many others who would love to rub your snout in it, so to speak. To this end, I shall cover you in viscous lard and set these other she-wolves upon you and the first one to pin you down will be the lucky lady who gets to bind you up and lead you to market. Then all the others will take a piece of you until you are nothing but a well-chewed spare rib. Only after we have made you cry ‘oinkle’ will you be a reformed little piggy who goes ‘wee wee wee’ all the way home and never strays from his lady love.”
    In an instant she poured a slop bucket of grease over his head and swung open the back door of his cottage. There stood an army of women whom Woodman had wronged in the past. They were fully naked but their bodies were painted and feathered like a tribe of island