Diaries of an Urban Panther

Diaries of an Urban Panther by Amanda Arista

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Authors: Amanda Arista
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phone and frown deeply before he got up.
    “Excuse me,” Chaz said quickly exiting the room.
    “You are as jumpy as a long tailed cat,” Iris said, trying not to crack a smile.
    “Ha. Seems fitting,” I said back as I took a bite of the stew she had been preparing intermittently all day. It was cooking like I hadn’t had in a long while—from scratch. It was the kind of thing you would make for a family after a long day apart—something to share with loved ones.
    I stared down at the bowl sadly and sighed. I had the urge to call Jessa but I knew she probably had a date tonight and was in the midst of her date routine. I checked my watch. She was probably somewhere between putting her hair in rollers and putting on her makeup.
    Chaz’s entrance into the room brought me out of my melancholia for a moment. “I’ve got to go.”
    Iris just nodded solemnly.
    “What?” I snapped.
    He just grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair and walked out.
    Startled, I looked up at Iris with questions.
    She just shook her head, as if she knew exactly what I was thinking, and gestured that I should ask him about the thoughts that were flying through my head.
    I caught him as he opened his car door.
    “Where are you going?” I demanded, sounding angrier than I thought I was.
    “They need me somewhere else,” was all he responded as he tossed his jacket in the passenger seat.
    “But what about me?” I asked, stifling the urge to stomp my foot. “You said you’d stay.”
    “The world doesn’t revolve around you, Violet,” he shouted back, quite unexpectedly to both of us.
    It was like he had smacked me, a cold hard smack that chilled me down to my toes before my face turned to fire. I wasn’t sure I deserved that. I turned quickly and started back to the house.
    “Violet,” he called out after me.
    The tears burned in my eyes but I refused to let them fall. I turned back around to face him in the moonlight that flooded the front of the house.
    I didn’t have anything to say to him. So I just balled up everything in my chest right now and I threw it at him, the fear and the nervousness and this sudden betrayal that had worked its way in there as well and I flung it at him so hard that he stumbled back against his car.
    Feeling less angry but not better, I went into the house and sat on the steps up on the second floor.
    It was a few minutes before I heard his car start up and saw the headlights illuminate the living room as he drove off down the dirt road.
    Iris shuffled into the foyer and looked down at me.
    “Don’t look at me in that tone of voice,” I grumbled with a sniff.
    Iris threw her hands up, complete with a white flag napkin from the dinner table. “You need to finish your dinner,” she finally said.
    I sighed and pushed myself up off the stairs.
    “I’ll give you one thing,” Iris said as we sat back down at the table and I looked across at Chaz’s empty spot with a clenched jaw.
    “What?” I asked trying to be civil. She hadn’t done anything wrong.
    “I don’t ever want to be on the receiving end of your fury. Ever.”
    “I’m sorry. I’m not usually like this. I’m usually the calm collected one, but lately . . .” I just shook my head and picked up my spoon.
    “I know,” Iris said softly. “Just eat your dinner and you’ll feel better tomorrow.”
    W e stood outside in the front yard bathed in the moon from high above. The chirp of the crickets and the soft swoosh of the wind through the tall grasses in the surrounding fields calmed me but the stirring in my chest was not abated.
    “You just need to run, get it out of your system so when you’re in the city, you won’t have the urge.”
    “So are we actually going to be hunting?” I asked as my hands twisted at my waist, playing with the belt on the pink fuzzy robe she had loaned me to save my clothes from being shredded again.
    “No, your cat just needs a safe place to stretch its legs, your legs.”
    I nodded. We had

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