The Empress's New Lingerie and Other Erotic Fairy Tales by Hillary Rollins Page B

Miss Canidae Wolfe if she would do him the honor of becoming Mrs. Canidae Wolfe-Brickman. And from that day forward they lived happily ever after.

…when great famine was upon the land, a brother and sister were led into the forest and abandoned by their father and stepmother so the beleaguered family would have fewer mouths to feed. Or so the tale went, until these secret diaries were discovered….

    GRETEL
:
    The night we were disowned was the night of my first serious date. Sure, I’d hung around with guys in a group situation, but never just one-on-one with someone who had asked me out. It meant a lot to me—I really wanted it to work out, really wanted a boyfriend. See, ever since my father married my stepmother—who, of course, was the typical evil stepmother who hated the children of her husband’s first wife and was jealous of any attention he gave us—we kids had been literally starved for affection. I didn’t know if it affected Hansel so much; he was a guy and kind of hard to figure out since he usually kept up that dumb “strong, silent type” attitude. But I knew if I didn’t experience some attention and kindness from someone soon, I would waste away like one of those waifs in the fairy tales.
    So I took a whole lot of care dressing for this date, trying on first one skirt then another until I found the perfect outfit. After each costume change I paraded in front of Hansel, pretending I was a glamorous fashion model, turning and posing and cocking my leg just so to better display a jutting hip bone or an elegant calf.
    â€œDo you like this one?”
    â€œI guess,” he growled. “Whatever.”
    Hansel lay on his unmade bed in a pair of jeans and a white T-shirt that smelled pleasing and powdery like laundry detergent and stretched tight across his muscular arms and chest like a second skin. I wished the guy I was dating was built like that, but no, those beautiful biceps and shoulders had to be wasted on my brother. Anyway, Hansel pretended not to be that interested in my fashion dilemma, but I noticed he never got up off the bed to flick on one of his video games or play his music. He just peered up at my “silly” display from beneath half-shut, heavy-lidded eyes. And he kept shaking his foot in that fast, rhythmic way he did whenever he was nervous or excited.
    HANSEL
:
    My sister Gretel is the one who got us thrown out, I guess. Whatever. See, she was going out with some moron from school—a real Neanderthal who didn’t deserve to lick the ground a girl like Gretel walked on, much less take her on a date—and she kept insisting I help pick out what she wore. Like any guy really cares what a girl wears. All these horn dogs want to know about a girl’s clothing is how quickly it can come off, you know? But it seemed important to her. She kept coming back into my room in different skirts, and each time they got shorter and shorter, showing off more and more of her legs. Gretel has really long legs. I mean really long. And smooth. I guess she shaves them or something like that, but I’ve never really seen legs so smooth before. I knew I wasn’t supposed to notice that, but hey, she kept strutting and posing like some kind of stupid fashion model or something, and you know how you can’t really avoid their legs when they do that posing thing. I also know I was supposed to make her wear something that would say “good girl” to this idiot boyfriend she was going to see so he wouldn’t get the wrong idea, but she kept saying she wanted it to be “a little bit saucy” because she really liked the guy and wanted it to work out. You know it hasn’t exactly been fat city around here in the affection department ever since my dad married the wicked witch. It’s been what you might call an emotional famine, and I knew Gretel was hungry for love. So I didn’t really want to contribute to her