The Color of Rain by Cori McCarthy

I brush my hand along the edges of his leg.
    Johnny scowls at it. “No forced affection, remember? Give me something real.” He leans in like he wants a kiss. I close my eyes and press my lips to his.
    They’re as hot as though he just breathed fire.
    I pull away and find his fist constricting my hair. His mouth touches my ear as he whispers, “Pathetic, Rain. I had such hope for you, but maybe this arrangement isn’t going to work after all.” He releases me. “Find your own way back.”
    Johnny parts the crowd, leaving me to the scrutinizing eyes of every passenger in the bar. I lick the still warm feel of where his lips had burned against mine. Lo and Walker need me. I have to thrill Johnny in order to find them. And yet, as I sit beneath the colored lights, touching the exotic drink, I begin to sink with doubt. Maybe I don’t have what it takes to seduce him.
    But I do.
    I force a sip of that purple liquid. That blood. Johnny was right; it’s delicious. Sinful. And even though he’s a pimp—a handsome devil—he’s my handsome devil. I check the scarlet gleam of my beautiful silver bracelet. He chose me.
    And now I want to prove myself for a reason that isn’t my brother’s or my best friend’s safety. I want to prove myself to him because I can. I want to play his game.
    I want to win.

    I wander through the passenger levels of the ship for hours, looking for an elevator or stairs that might bring me to the crew deck to look for Lo. But Imreas is larger and more complicated than I imagined, and when I stop a crew member and ask about the crew deck, he takes a quick look at my bracelet and shakes his head.
    â€œOnly yellows down there.” He escorts me back to the FamilyRoom, and by then, I’m so hungry that I push past the green girls and choose a piece of bread with some kind of sugary spread.
    Then I sit on my mat until long after the lights have dimmed and the other girls have quieted down, going carefully over my next steps. Perhaps I had been going about this all wrong; I was trying to figure out how to make myself want Johnny.
    What I need is for Johnny to want me.
    I think Lo would be proud, and in the silence, I miss my best friend’s chatter. I picture the way she leans in to tell me something crazy, her eyes huge. She would have tips for handling Johnny. Warmth blooms in my belly as I wonder what it will feel like to press myself against him.
    Will I like it? What if it’s too obvious that I don’t know what I’m doing?
    The thoughts are embarrassing even in the dark by myself, so I turn to the window. A single asteroid rotates through the Void, and my missing of Lo turns to Walker.
    â€œDon’t scream.” Ben pulls back the veil which encloses my little area. I stand fast and make a fist, but he holds his palms out to stop me. “I just want to say that I swear what you saw in the shower room the other night . . . well, it wasn’t what you really saw.”
    â€œI don’t want to know,” I lie. “If I know, I’m in more trouble, right?”
    â€œHell,” he says. “You’re right. It’d be a lot easier to let you be afraid of me.”
    â€œI’m still not afraid of you. Which is weird, I guess.” I pause to think over my words; they’re startlingly true. “I’m only afraid of what you do for him .”
    â€œWhat do you mean?” He takes a few steps closer, and I back into the window. “I’m sorry,” he adds. “I wouldn’t hurt you. Not by choice.”
    â€œI can try to believe that.” Silence fills the weird space between us, and he crosses his arms over his chest, making his shirt constrict around his forearms. “You could prove it to me. Give me that favor you owe me. I need to see my brother. Like now.”
    â€œI can’t take you until Johnny gives the clear. Not until you and he . . .” He grimaces.