will appear with him at limited engagements and I will require your co-operation in preparing the next rounds of televised ads.”
Bitterness and bile colored my voice with spiteful, sharp tones. “That means pretending to be his loving wife.”
“That means being his wife. Once the election is over, then you may re-file for divorce with my blessing. Until then, as time and your studies permit, you will present the proper image.”
The air slowly drained from my lungs, leaving a burning sensation and a frisson of hope. The election was two months and change away.
It would mean resetting the clock, putting my life on hold once more.
I can do this. Can’t I?
“I will have my assistant inform the department that you and Loretta will be here for the weekend, tending to my needs. You shall return and resume your classes and your teaching assistant duties on Monday.”
I nodded, agreeing to the terms, burying the yes but deep, so deep it would not poke its ugly head out until I’d fulfilled the terms of the verbal contract.
Robert could not be trusted to keep his vows. Thank God, Tonia could and did.
Perverse Jes had to say it, “How are you going to guarantee little robert will stay where it belongs,” making the requisite finger quotes to emphasize my point.
What I didn’t say was if little robert came anywhere near me ever again I’d beg, steal or borrow enough money to buy pruning shears and make His Right Honorable Judge McMahon the first eunuch to ever preside on the bench.
Tonia snickered.
Oops.
“Speaking of funds. You will understand that the, uh…”
“Bribe?”
“…offer cannot be extended until after all the conditions have been satisfactorily executed.”
Executed. Good word.
It was time for full disclosure. “I can’t stay with Loretta. It’s not right. And, besides, she has a…”
“Boyfriend. Yes, I know.”
A look of vague displeasure crossed her face and my belly clenched, wondering if she knew about Chazz. Really knew.
“He’s a good man, Tonia. I couldn’t have chosen better for her myself.”
And you know…?
“Of course I know. Despite what you think of me, I am not the heartless martinet you consider me. Nor am I a hypocritical racist.” I sucked air at that, shocked. “Loretta talks with me. Frequently. And while a poor boy with modest upbringing from Alabama is not my first choice for my grand-daughter, it appears he has prospects.”
Tonia lay back on the pillows looking spent. Yet, in spite of her obvious exhaustion, a small smile played at the corners of her mouth.
Voice noticeably weaker, she said, “I see I finally got you to shut up.”
That little revelation put me in a tailspin, no doubt about it. But the issue of managing my life under her conditions simply did not compute … in more ways than one.
“Jessamine, I want you to stay with your daughter. I have my reasons.” I sputtered an objection but she spoke over me with conviction, “Suffice it to say, they are necessary reasons. And I will lend you sufficient funds so that your presence there will not be a burden. On any of you.”
I sat back, hands clenched, thinking on everything she’d said. Tonia always had reasons and it was quite clear she was not in a sharing mood.
Desperation gnawed at me. I wanted … craved my own space. Especially if I were forced to interact with Robert on any level, no matter how innocuous. If forced to live with Etty, I’d have to choke down the fireworks, put a lid on my bile and suck it up.
Be bigger than, better than .
Once more for the Gipper. But this time it looked like the Gipper was going to be me. Or Tonia. The jury was still out on that one.
“Are we agreed?”
Measuring time in units of pain was no way to live. But I refused to give up and give in. Not completely. So I said the only word that would kick start a semblance of a new life. I said, “Yes.”
“Good. Now go get Robert. I want you both down at the recording studio this
Bitterness and bile colored my voice with spiteful, sharp tones. “That means pretending to be his loving wife.”
“That means being his wife. Once the election is over, then you may re-file for divorce with my blessing. Until then, as time and your studies permit, you will present the proper image.”
The air slowly drained from my lungs, leaving a burning sensation and a frisson of hope. The election was two months and change away.
It would mean resetting the clock, putting my life on hold once more.
I can do this. Can’t I?
“I will have my assistant inform the department that you and Loretta will be here for the weekend, tending to my needs. You shall return and resume your classes and your teaching assistant duties on Monday.”
I nodded, agreeing to the terms, burying the yes but deep, so deep it would not poke its ugly head out until I’d fulfilled the terms of the verbal contract.
Robert could not be trusted to keep his vows. Thank God, Tonia could and did.
Perverse Jes had to say it, “How are you going to guarantee little robert will stay where it belongs,” making the requisite finger quotes to emphasize my point.
What I didn’t say was if little robert came anywhere near me ever again I’d beg, steal or borrow enough money to buy pruning shears and make His Right Honorable Judge McMahon the first eunuch to ever preside on the bench.
Tonia snickered.
Oops.
“Speaking of funds. You will understand that the, uh…”
“Bribe?”
“…offer cannot be extended until after all the conditions have been satisfactorily executed.”
Executed. Good word.
It was time for full disclosure. “I can’t stay with Loretta. It’s not right. And, besides, she has a…”
“Boyfriend. Yes, I know.”
A look of vague displeasure crossed her face and my belly clenched, wondering if she knew about Chazz. Really knew.
“He’s a good man, Tonia. I couldn’t have chosen better for her myself.”
And you know…?
“Of course I know. Despite what you think of me, I am not the heartless martinet you consider me. Nor am I a hypocritical racist.” I sucked air at that, shocked. “Loretta talks with me. Frequently. And while a poor boy with modest upbringing from Alabama is not my first choice for my grand-daughter, it appears he has prospects.”
Tonia lay back on the pillows looking spent. Yet, in spite of her obvious exhaustion, a small smile played at the corners of her mouth.
Voice noticeably weaker, she said, “I see I finally got you to shut up.”
That little revelation put me in a tailspin, no doubt about it. But the issue of managing my life under her conditions simply did not compute … in more ways than one.
“Jessamine, I want you to stay with your daughter. I have my reasons.” I sputtered an objection but she spoke over me with conviction, “Suffice it to say, they are necessary reasons. And I will lend you sufficient funds so that your presence there will not be a burden. On any of you.”
I sat back, hands clenched, thinking on everything she’d said. Tonia always had reasons and it was quite clear she was not in a sharing mood.
Desperation gnawed at me. I wanted … craved my own space. Especially if I were forced to interact with Robert on any level, no matter how innocuous. If forced to live with Etty, I’d have to choke down the fireworks, put a lid on my bile and suck it up.
Be bigger than, better than .
Once more for the Gipper. But this time it looked like the Gipper was going to be me. Or Tonia. The jury was still out on that one.
“Are we agreed?”
Measuring time in units of pain was no way to live. But I refused to give up and give in. Not completely. So I said the only word that would kick start a semblance of a new life. I said, “Yes.”
“Good. Now go get Robert. I want you both down at the recording studio this
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