Teckla by Steven Brust

was poisoning me. When the cup came again, I drank greedily, still watching Spellbreaker's dance. When the cup was empty, I lay back, waiting for oblivion. There was some part of me that was mildly surprised when it came.
    pr black riding boots:
    remove reddish stain on toe of rt boot.
    I don't remember actually waking up. I stared at the ceiling for a long time without focusing on it. Awareness of sensations increased slowly—the smooth linen of finely woven sheets, the scent of Cawti's hair next to my face, her warm, dry hand in mine. With my other hand I touched myself, face and body, and I blinked. Loiosh's tail was draped across my neck—
    feather-light and scaly.
    "Boss?" Tentative.
    "Yes, Loiosh. I'm here."
    He rested his head against my cheek. I smelled Adrilankha's morning in the breeze through the window. I licked my lips, squeezed my eyes tightly shut, and opened them. Memory returned, piercing as a needle. I winced, then trembled. After a moment I turned toward Cawti. She was awake and looking at me. Her eyes were red. I said, "Some of us will do anything for sympathy." My voice cracked as I said it. She squeezed my hand. After a moment, she chuckled softly. "I'm trying to find a way to say,
    'Are you all right?' that doesn't sound like you ought to be put away somewhere." I squeezed her hand. Loiosh stirred and flapped around the room once. Rocza stirred from somewhere and hissed.
    "If you mean am I about to kill myself, the answer is no." Then I said,
    "You didn't sleep, did you?" She made a gesture that I took as, "No, I didn't." I said, "Maybe you should." She looked at me with swimming red eyes. I said, "You know, this doesn't really solve anything."
    "I know," she said, and this time it was her voice that broke. "Do you want to talk about it?"
    "About—what happened yesterday? No. It's too close. What did you give me?
    It was a poison, wasn't it?"
    "In the tea? Yes. Tsiolin, but just a mild dose so you'd sleep." I nodded. She moved over next to me and I held her. I stared at the ceiling a while longer. It was made of beaded ceiling board, and Cawti had painted it a very pale green. "Green?" I had said at the time. "It represents growth and fertility," she had explained. "Ah ha," I had said and we went on to other things. Now it just looked green. But she was holding me. Make of this what you will.
    I got up and took care of morning things. When I looked back in, Cawti was sleeping. I went out with Loiosh and sat in Kigg's for a while and drank klava. I was very careful to watch all around as I left home. I've never been attacked when I was ready for it; it's always come unexpectedly. That's odd only because of the amount of time I seem to spend expecting to be attacked. I wondered what it would be like not to have to worry about that. If these Easterners had their way, and their daydreams turned out real, that might happen. But it wouldn't matter to me, anyway. I couldn't remember a time when I wasn't careful to watch around me as much as possible. Even when I was young there were too many kids who didn't like Easterners. I was stuck as I was, whatever happened. But still—
    "I think you have too much on your mind, boss." I nodded. "Alright, chum. Tell me what to ignore."
    "Heh."
    "Right."
    "About these Easterners—Kelly's group…"
    "Yeah?"
    "What if you didn't have to worry about Cawti's life, or about Herth, or any of it. How would you feel about them?"
    "How can I know that?"
    "How would you feel about Cawti being one of them?" Now that was a good question. I chewed it over. "I guess I just don't think much of a group that's so wrapped up in its ideals that it doesn't care about people."
    "But about Cawti—"
    "Yeah. I don't know, Loiosh. There was never really the chance to find out what's involved. How much time will it take? Am I going to see her at all? Is she going to want to give them money? How much? There are too many things I don't know. She ought to have told me about it." I drank some more