whether I saw her in person or not, but there was one thing missing. One thing lacking from within every photo I’d seen of her. One thing still lacking, while I watched her roam around the shops at Christmas time with her family, from the tinted windows of my BMW. It was the one thing that made her priceless to me… Her fire . There was always a fire in Kathleen, one that made her who she was. She was her own woman, no matter how young, she was free spirited and full of life. But now when I saw her, I knew she wasn’t free, and she was sailing through life on auto pilot. That fire I always loved about her was no longer there, and it was my fault. I never meant to hurt her, I never wanted to do anything to make her leave me. If only she could believe me, if only she could consider forgiving me. If only…
Chapter 12
I WANTED TO stop by and see her, whenever she was in town, while out roaming around with her mother or sister. Or out near the lake with her father or brother, but I knew it wouldn’t be wise. I knew I wouldn’t be welcomed by her, or by her family, and I didn’t want to make her cry again. I was the one who hurt her, and I would never be accepted by any of them again. I married her, and then broke her heart, and that had user written all over it, but it was far from the truth. If they only knew how much I loved her, cared for her. I would do anything to just have her smile at me again, to have her kiss me, hold me, and tell me she loved me. If she only knew how much my life still revolved around her. I ached for her, but I didn’t deserve her. I craved her, but couldn’t taste her. I needed her, but did I even stand a chance of ever regaining her, or her family’s trust again? As long as she didn’t accept me, they wouldn’t either. I really didn’t want to ruin the little breaks, she or I had from school, so I stayed hidden, and secretly watched whenever she was in town.
She had been on autopilot for the last four years, after she left me, and I was racked with guilt and anger at myself. She was right, I didn’t deserve her. I hurt her badly, and she was ruined. I ruined the only woman I’ll ever truly loved, and it hurt me, just as much as it was hurting her. I threw myself into my schooling, and company start up, with her always in mind. I wanted to make it up to her. I wanted her to still be proud of me, like she used to be, when I had nothing to show for it. But I hurt her, and that would haunt me until the day she loved me, again. By the time she reached her fourth year at Columbia, I had reached my fourth year at Yale as well. It was a very hard year with all the pressures I was under, whether in work or school, but I stayed focused and determined to succeed. With finals, and both of our graduations approaching, my company was up and running. I had my trust fund access granted early, from an early certified letter of confirmed graduation from the Dean at Yale. P2 Enterprises was now a cooperation, and I was a young CEO, with a demanding schedule that could rival that of the vice president. P2 Enterprises started in the basement of my uncle’s house three years ago, right after I’d completed my first year of college. With a small dedicated staff of five, we were working very hard, and learning as we went. Most of the staff were associates from Yale, who were just as driven like as myself to succeed. Starting out, I had three clients, who came with a strong recommendation, and agreed to a trial basis of my services, courtesy of my uncle. He had his own small firm in finances. They was a small firm, but official in their position in money management. Those three clients saw my passion and desire to succeed, and stayed with me, not returning to my uncle. They referred other clients they knew, and the cycle continued to repeat itself. By that second year, we had several contracts, and had secured potential revenues for future
Chapter 12
I WANTED TO stop by and see her, whenever she was in town, while out roaming around with her mother or sister. Or out near the lake with her father or brother, but I knew it wouldn’t be wise. I knew I wouldn’t be welcomed by her, or by her family, and I didn’t want to make her cry again. I was the one who hurt her, and I would never be accepted by any of them again. I married her, and then broke her heart, and that had user written all over it, but it was far from the truth. If they only knew how much I loved her, cared for her. I would do anything to just have her smile at me again, to have her kiss me, hold me, and tell me she loved me. If she only knew how much my life still revolved around her. I ached for her, but I didn’t deserve her. I craved her, but couldn’t taste her. I needed her, but did I even stand a chance of ever regaining her, or her family’s trust again? As long as she didn’t accept me, they wouldn’t either. I really didn’t want to ruin the little breaks, she or I had from school, so I stayed hidden, and secretly watched whenever she was in town.
She had been on autopilot for the last four years, after she left me, and I was racked with guilt and anger at myself. She was right, I didn’t deserve her. I hurt her badly, and she was ruined. I ruined the only woman I’ll ever truly loved, and it hurt me, just as much as it was hurting her. I threw myself into my schooling, and company start up, with her always in mind. I wanted to make it up to her. I wanted her to still be proud of me, like she used to be, when I had nothing to show for it. But I hurt her, and that would haunt me until the day she loved me, again. By the time she reached her fourth year at Columbia, I had reached my fourth year at Yale as well. It was a very hard year with all the pressures I was under, whether in work or school, but I stayed focused and determined to succeed. With finals, and both of our graduations approaching, my company was up and running. I had my trust fund access granted early, from an early certified letter of confirmed graduation from the Dean at Yale. P2 Enterprises was now a cooperation, and I was a young CEO, with a demanding schedule that could rival that of the vice president. P2 Enterprises started in the basement of my uncle’s house three years ago, right after I’d completed my first year of college. With a small dedicated staff of five, we were working very hard, and learning as we went. Most of the staff were associates from Yale, who were just as driven like as myself to succeed. Starting out, I had three clients, who came with a strong recommendation, and agreed to a trial basis of my services, courtesy of my uncle. He had his own small firm in finances. They was a small firm, but official in their position in money management. Those three clients saw my passion and desire to succeed, and stayed with me, not returning to my uncle. They referred other clients they knew, and the cycle continued to repeat itself. By that second year, we had several contracts, and had secured potential revenues for future
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