Surrogate and Wife by Emily McKay

wanted.
    In the end she knew she’d do what she always did. The right thing. Because if she didn’t make the right choice, she certainly couldn’t trust anyone else to do so, either. And this time, more than her own wants and needs were at stake. She was making this choice for the baby, as well.
    With one last look at the croissant, she put the muffin on her plate and carefully wrapped the paper bag around the croissant.
    She peeled back the paper on the muffin and tore off a bite. As she popped it in her mouth, she noticed Jake smiling.
    â€œWhat?”
    He shook his head wryly. “Somehow I knew you’d pick the muffin.”
    â€œThere’s caffeine in chocolate.”
    â€œNot much more than there is in your decaf coffee,” he pointed out.
    â€œThe muffin is still the better choice. Whole wheat, protein from the nuts and even a little fruit. Lots of nutrients the baby needs.”
    â€œSure.” He nodded.
    â€œYou disagree?”
    â€œNot at all. That’s very logical. You’re taking this surrogate mother thing very seriously.”
    â€œOf course I am,” she admitted. “This is a huge responsibility.”
    â€œAnd you feel like you have to do everything just perfect.”
    â€œYou say that like it’s a bad thing.” And then, because she didn’t want to sound defensive, she added lightly, “Besides, I’m the only one who can.”
    â€œWell, sure, but…”
    â€œBut…” she prodded.
    He held up the last bite of his own croissant. “But sometimes you have to spoil yourself. Just a little.”
    As she watched, he placed that last bite in his mouth. She could just imagine how it tasted. The sweet chocolate, the lingering tartness of the raspberries. The way the flakes of croissant would practically melt on her tongue.
    By comparison, her muffin tasted dry and bland. No contrast. No depth. No decadence.
    An unexpected wave of sadness hit her. Usually she liked banana nut muffins. She’d eaten them for breakfast without complaint for years.
    Now she wondered if she’d ever enjoy one again.
    Resolutely, she took another bite of the muffin andforced herself to chew and swallow. After washing down the bite with a gulp of milk, she said, “I wanted to—”
    â€œAbout last night—”
    Laughing, Jake ducked his head, looking up at her from beneath his lashes. “You go first.”
    Kate felt the power of that glance deep in her belly. There was a rueful, almost bashful, gleam in his eyes that was way more appealing than his usually wicked charm. Which was saying a lot, since she often found his usually wicked charm pretty dang hard to resist.
    Determined not to make a fool of herself if she could avoid it, she sucked in a deep breath and dove head-first into her groveling. “I wanted to apologize for last night. I didn’t mean to pry into matters none of my business.”
    There was more she wanted to say, so she stuffed a chunk of muffin in her mouth to quiet herself.
    â€œIt’s funny.” He took a sip of his coffee. “I was going to apologize for being so defensive. I guess I’m just not used to talking about her.”
    â€œWell, most people have decent relationships with their moms. And if you do, it’s hard to imagine a mom who’s a little more difficult to get along with.”
    â€œActually, we have a pretty good relationship now.”
    Her eyebrows shot up and she eyed him with doubt. “You have to have some lingering anger toward your mother.”
    â€œI don’t.” He shrugged with a nonchalance she didn’t buy. “I did when I was young, but we get along fine now.”
    â€œSo your mother abandoned you and you’ve just…what? Just forgiven her?”
    â€œYes. Why is that so hard for you to believe?”
    She pushed back her chair, snatched up the remains of her breakfast and took them to them trash can. “It