solid. So dependable. So much what sheâd always wanted and never allowed herself.
Oh, how she wanted to believe him. To pretend, just for a few minutes, that he could share her burdens. That his presence in her life wasnât temporary.
He meant well, but in the end he was like that chocolate raspberry croissant. A temptation she didnât dare allow herself to enjoy.
Nine
B y the time Kate arrived home Friday evening, Jake had already left for work and wouldnât return until after midnight. Normally he worked the day shift four days a week, but tonight he was covering for a buddy on vacation.
She wandered restlessly through the house, amazed that sheâd become accustomed to his presence. Even though they rarely spent time together, sheâd gotten used to having him around.
What would it be like once this was all over with and he left for good? Sheâd have neither him nor the baby to keep her company. The thought made her inexplicably sad.
No matter how many times she reminded herself that neither Jake nor the baby were hers to keep, she couldnât help wishing⦠Wishing what ? the more logical part of her mind scoffed.
Keeping the baby was out of the question, no matter what she secretly yearned for. As for keeping Jake, whatwould be the point? Sheâd been independent her entire adult life. She relied on no one but herself for her happiness, and that was the way she wanted it. It was the only way to ensure sheâd never be let down, never be hurt. Sheâd had more than enough of that during her childhood.
Still, she couldnât help wondering what it would be like if they were a different sort of newlywed couple.
Undoubtedly, sheâd wait up for him. Plan some romantic encounter for when he got home after work. Pull out the lingerie sheâd bought before the wedding and spend the evening relaxing in a tub scented with exotic oils. Or maybe sheâd retire early after planning a romantic breakfast in bed for him the next morning.
Kate felt a slight throbbing deep in her gut in response to the images her mind had conjured. She would do none of those things, and the evening stretched endlessly before her.
Around eight, she opened the fridge, planning to make herself a grilled cheese sandwich, only to find a casserole dish with a note from Jake taped to the lid.
Donât worry, itâs good for you. Lasagna with lots of veggies and whole wheat pasta. Maybe youâll eat the chocolate croissant for dessert.
She smiled. Like this morning, she couldnât bring herself to reject his peace offering. Besides, what heâd prepared was much better for the baby than the grilled cheese she would have made. So she nuked the lasagna in the microwave and ate it at the kitchen table with a glass of milk while reviewing papers. By the time her plate was clean and the last of her work seen to, fatigue settled over her like a heavy blanket.
She tried to nap on the sofa, but couldnât get comfortable. Her own bed was worse, inexplicably bothlumpy and hard. Then she remembered what Jake had said about his mattress.
It helped him sleep like the dead.
She grabbed the pillows from her bed and marched down the hall to his room.
She stood in the doorway for a long moment just staring at his bed. She hadnât been in this room since he moved in, and somehow the changes surprised her.
His king-size bed was huge. He hadnât made the bed that morning, so the thick navy comforter remained pulled back, revealing cream-colored sheets beneath. A heavy dresser lined one wall and a chair sat in a corner, both draped in discarded clothes. The room lookedâ¦comfortably messy. Lived in. This was most definitely his space. And she was invading it.
Sheâd never dream of doing something like this, if she didnât need some decent sleep so desperately.
Just a few hours of decent sleep and sheâd sneak back to her own bed.
Jake wouldnât be home for hours.
Oh, how she wanted to believe him. To pretend, just for a few minutes, that he could share her burdens. That his presence in her life wasnât temporary.
He meant well, but in the end he was like that chocolate raspberry croissant. A temptation she didnât dare allow herself to enjoy.
Nine
B y the time Kate arrived home Friday evening, Jake had already left for work and wouldnât return until after midnight. Normally he worked the day shift four days a week, but tonight he was covering for a buddy on vacation.
She wandered restlessly through the house, amazed that sheâd become accustomed to his presence. Even though they rarely spent time together, sheâd gotten used to having him around.
What would it be like once this was all over with and he left for good? Sheâd have neither him nor the baby to keep her company. The thought made her inexplicably sad.
No matter how many times she reminded herself that neither Jake nor the baby were hers to keep, she couldnât help wishing⦠Wishing what ? the more logical part of her mind scoffed.
Keeping the baby was out of the question, no matter what she secretly yearned for. As for keeping Jake, whatwould be the point? Sheâd been independent her entire adult life. She relied on no one but herself for her happiness, and that was the way she wanted it. It was the only way to ensure sheâd never be let down, never be hurt. Sheâd had more than enough of that during her childhood.
Still, she couldnât help wondering what it would be like if they were a different sort of newlywed couple.
Undoubtedly, sheâd wait up for him. Plan some romantic encounter for when he got home after work. Pull out the lingerie sheâd bought before the wedding and spend the evening relaxing in a tub scented with exotic oils. Or maybe sheâd retire early after planning a romantic breakfast in bed for him the next morning.
Kate felt a slight throbbing deep in her gut in response to the images her mind had conjured. She would do none of those things, and the evening stretched endlessly before her.
Around eight, she opened the fridge, planning to make herself a grilled cheese sandwich, only to find a casserole dish with a note from Jake taped to the lid.
Donât worry, itâs good for you. Lasagna with lots of veggies and whole wheat pasta. Maybe youâll eat the chocolate croissant for dessert.
She smiled. Like this morning, she couldnât bring herself to reject his peace offering. Besides, what heâd prepared was much better for the baby than the grilled cheese she would have made. So she nuked the lasagna in the microwave and ate it at the kitchen table with a glass of milk while reviewing papers. By the time her plate was clean and the last of her work seen to, fatigue settled over her like a heavy blanket.
She tried to nap on the sofa, but couldnât get comfortable. Her own bed was worse, inexplicably bothlumpy and hard. Then she remembered what Jake had said about his mattress.
It helped him sleep like the dead.
She grabbed the pillows from her bed and marched down the hall to his room.
She stood in the doorway for a long moment just staring at his bed. She hadnât been in this room since he moved in, and somehow the changes surprised her.
His king-size bed was huge. He hadnât made the bed that morning, so the thick navy comforter remained pulled back, revealing cream-colored sheets beneath. A heavy dresser lined one wall and a chair sat in a corner, both draped in discarded clothes. The room lookedâ¦comfortably messy. Lived in. This was most definitely his space. And she was invading it.
Sheâd never dream of doing something like this, if she didnât need some decent sleep so desperately.
Just a few hours of decent sleep and sheâd sneak back to her own bed.
Jake wouldnât be home for hours.
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