territory.
I’m not sure if any of you have seen that John Candy/Steve Martin movie Planes, Trains and Automobiles , but our Hawaiian vacation was a lot like that; almost everything that could go wrong, went wrong. As soon as we arrived, we 75
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♥ BRUCE HART ♥
found that our travel agent had somehow screwed up our hotel reservations and instead of having separate rooms, we found ourselves all crammed into one room in a second rate dump. That was just the start of our adventure.
On our first day at the beach, Dynamite and Ellie, who’d been advised by some sun-worshipper to use coconut oil for a really awesome tan, suffered third degree burns. The sunburns were so severe that for several days they could barely walk. Not long after, Dynamite, Ross and I were walking home from some bar late at night and encountered this girl, in apparent dire distress, screaming hysterically as some guy was assaulting her. Dynamite and I endeavored to come to her aid, but the guy whipped out a switchblade. We were able to disarm him though and he ended up getting the living shit kicked out of him; all the while, this skanky bimbo that had been screaming for help was screaming and swearing at us — for assaulting her pimp. Dynamite told her to make up her fucking mind.
When we arrived back at our hotel later, we found that someone had broken into our room and stolen most of our money. Since none of us had any plastic at that time, we were forced to nickel and dime it and by the end of the trip we were half starving and running on fumes.
A couple of days before we were supposed to return, my brother Ross contracted a staph infection. An ingrown nose hair got so infected that he looked like something out of Planet of the Apes . It was so bad that he wound up in hospital on an intravenous drip. He nearly died.
In its own messed up way though, all the stress and aggravation served to take my mind off my own emotional problems and by the time I got back, I found that I somehow had extricated myself from the emotional quicksand I’d been mired in. I was back on a relatively even keel; it was almost a miracle. It’s been said that what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger and that proved to be the case for me — and later on, when I was faced with some pretty serious adversity, I was able to deal with it, because I’d already been to hell and back.
One of the other important lessons I learned from that whole ordeal was that all you can do in life is to concern yourself with the here and now and not incur undue stress by dwelling on what you could or should have done in the past, or by trying to figure out what might happen down the road. Putting it another 76
StraightFromTheHart.indb 76
10/8/10 5:08:57 PM
♥ STRAIGHT FROM THE HART ♥
way, I’d like to relate something my son, Bruce Jr., once told me that sums it up best: “Yesterday’s history and tomorrow’s a mystery, but today is a gift — which is why it’s called the present.” Amen. Since then, my philosophy’s been to live, love, laugh, enjoy the ride, occasionally raise a little hell — and let the chips fall where they may.
As far as trying to explain the meaning of life or some kind of reason behind its mysteries, I’ve arrived at the conclusion that, as some jabroney poet once lamented, Ours is not to reason why; ours is but to do and die. In wrestling terms, I guess that might mean that we weren’t meant to be smartened up in life and that, for all intents and purposes, we’re supposed to remain marks — which is, when you stop and think about it, a lot more fun, anyway. Call me a mark if you want, but there’s no damn way that life can all be a work or some kind of mere coincidence. Anybody who’s inclined to disagree need only take a look at a mother cuddling her newborn, or see the sun rising on a clear day, or have some girl who takes your breath away smile at you. There’s no way that
I’m not sure if any of you have seen that John Candy/Steve Martin movie Planes, Trains and Automobiles , but our Hawaiian vacation was a lot like that; almost everything that could go wrong, went wrong. As soon as we arrived, we 75
StraightFromTheHart.indb 75
10/8/10 5:08:57 PM
♥ BRUCE HART ♥
found that our travel agent had somehow screwed up our hotel reservations and instead of having separate rooms, we found ourselves all crammed into one room in a second rate dump. That was just the start of our adventure.
On our first day at the beach, Dynamite and Ellie, who’d been advised by some sun-worshipper to use coconut oil for a really awesome tan, suffered third degree burns. The sunburns were so severe that for several days they could barely walk. Not long after, Dynamite, Ross and I were walking home from some bar late at night and encountered this girl, in apparent dire distress, screaming hysterically as some guy was assaulting her. Dynamite and I endeavored to come to her aid, but the guy whipped out a switchblade. We were able to disarm him though and he ended up getting the living shit kicked out of him; all the while, this skanky bimbo that had been screaming for help was screaming and swearing at us — for assaulting her pimp. Dynamite told her to make up her fucking mind.
When we arrived back at our hotel later, we found that someone had broken into our room and stolen most of our money. Since none of us had any plastic at that time, we were forced to nickel and dime it and by the end of the trip we were half starving and running on fumes.
A couple of days before we were supposed to return, my brother Ross contracted a staph infection. An ingrown nose hair got so infected that he looked like something out of Planet of the Apes . It was so bad that he wound up in hospital on an intravenous drip. He nearly died.
In its own messed up way though, all the stress and aggravation served to take my mind off my own emotional problems and by the time I got back, I found that I somehow had extricated myself from the emotional quicksand I’d been mired in. I was back on a relatively even keel; it was almost a miracle. It’s been said that what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger and that proved to be the case for me — and later on, when I was faced with some pretty serious adversity, I was able to deal with it, because I’d already been to hell and back.
One of the other important lessons I learned from that whole ordeal was that all you can do in life is to concern yourself with the here and now and not incur undue stress by dwelling on what you could or should have done in the past, or by trying to figure out what might happen down the road. Putting it another 76
StraightFromTheHart.indb 76
10/8/10 5:08:57 PM
♥ STRAIGHT FROM THE HART ♥
way, I’d like to relate something my son, Bruce Jr., once told me that sums it up best: “Yesterday’s history and tomorrow’s a mystery, but today is a gift — which is why it’s called the present.” Amen. Since then, my philosophy’s been to live, love, laugh, enjoy the ride, occasionally raise a little hell — and let the chips fall where they may.
As far as trying to explain the meaning of life or some kind of reason behind its mysteries, I’ve arrived at the conclusion that, as some jabroney poet once lamented, Ours is not to reason why; ours is but to do and die. In wrestling terms, I guess that might mean that we weren’t meant to be smartened up in life and that, for all intents and purposes, we’re supposed to remain marks — which is, when you stop and think about it, a lot more fun, anyway. Call me a mark if you want, but there’s no damn way that life can all be a work or some kind of mere coincidence. Anybody who’s inclined to disagree need only take a look at a mother cuddling her newborn, or see the sun rising on a clear day, or have some girl who takes your breath away smile at you. There’s no way that
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