Stalking the Dragon by Mike Resnick

copper-plated?” asked Mallory, curious in spite of himself.
    â€œThey fell out of his pocket into a vat of molten copper when he was robbing the Denver mint. By the time he reached them, they weren't the only thing that was copper-plated. If you should ever get in a fistfight with him and I'm not around to save you, watch out for his left.”
    â€œThanks for the tip,” said Mallory. “Now go away and leave us alone.”
    â€œI thought we were engaging in an honest negotiation!” said the goblin.
    â€œYou thought wrong.”
    â€œWhat are you, some kind of bigot?”
    â€œI'm the kind who's not going to hire you,” said Mallory.
    â€œGoblin hater!” screamed Smith. “Hey, everyone, we got a goblin hater here!”
    Half a dozen goblins suddenly appeared from behind trees and shrubs, brandishing blackjacks and brass knuckles.
    â€œIs that right, Mac?” said one of them. “Do you hate goblins?”
    â€œJust this one,” said Mallory, indicating Chou En-lai Smith.
    â€œOh. Well, that's okay, then,” said the goblin, turning his back and walking away. “Can't say that I blame you.”
    The other goblins all followed suit.
    â€œThey're just jealous,” said Smith.
    â€œYou mean they want to be hated too?” asked Mallory.
    â€œI've a good mind to break your kneecaps, pulverize your Adam's apple, rip your head off, and spit down your neck,” said the goblin. “What do you think of that?”
    â€œIt sounds messy,” said Mallory.
    â€œIt does, at that,” agreed the goblin. “Maybe I'll just cave your chest in with a spinning kick.”
    â€œYou're absolutely bound and determined to fight?” asked Mallory.
    â€œDamned straight,” said the goblin. “I'll tear you apart. I'll dissect you with such grace and skill that they'll award me both ears and the tail. I'll—”
    â€œFelina?” said Mallory.
    The cat-girl moved in front of him and opened her hands. An instant later each finger sprouted a two-inch razor-sharp claw.
    â€œShe's my surrogate,” said Mallory.
    â€œI don't give a damn about your sex life!” snapped the goblin. “Let's fight!”
    â€œYou're fighting her .”
    â€œI can't hit a girl,” said the goblin. “It's against the rules. Everybody knows that.”
    â€œFelina,” said Mallory, “do you know of any rule that says you can't remove a goblin's face?”
    She smiled a predatory smile and shook her head.
    â€œYou're sure you want to do this?” demanded Smith. “You're facing the guy who single-handedly stood off a village of three hundred rabid Chinese leprechauns back in Shanghai.” He paused. “Of course, it helped that I had a submachine gun and they were unarmed peasants, but still…”
    Felina took another step toward him.
    â€œAll right, cat-thing,” said the goblin, “prepare to die!”
    He bent over into a fighting stance and suddenly uttered a piercing shriek.
    â€œYou aren't going to scare her by screaming,” said Mallory.
    â€œThat wasn't a scream of attack,” rasped the goblin. “It was a scream of pain!”
    â€œOh?”
    â€œI threw my back out,” he moaned. “I can't straighten up.”
    â€œRipping his face off is no fun if he can't fight back,” said Felina.
    â€œWhen did it ever bother you that your prey couldn't fight back?” asked Mallory curiously.
    â€œYou're right, John Justin,” she said apologetically. “I wasn't thinking clearly. I'll kill him now.”
    â€œNo!” cried Chou En-lai Smith.
    â€œSome other time,” said Mallory to the cat-girl.
    â€œThank you,” said the goblin.
    â€œMy pleasure,” said Mallory, starting to head off toward the dragon pond.
    â€œYou're not going to just leave me here, are you?” demanded the goblin.
    â€œWell, you were going to kill me,