mirth rolled down Tracyâs cheeks.
âIâm sorry,â she said eventually.
âAre you?â Blake said sternly. â âCause I donât see it, Tracy. Do you want that boy to wind up like his father?â
Tracy recoiled as if sheâd been stung. Blake never brought up Nickâs parentage. Never, ever. He knew Jeff Stevens was Nickâs real father. Seeing the two of them together that time Jeff came to stay at the ranch had hardened Blakeâs suspicions on that score into incontrovertible fact. But heâd never discussed it with Tracy. Never asked for any details or cast any judgments. Till now.
To her surprise, Tracy found herself suddenly defensive of Jeff Stevens.
âDo I want Nick to be funny, you mean? And charming and brave and a free spirit?â
âNo,â said Blake angrily. âThatâs not what I mean. I mean do you want him to be a criminal, a liar and a thief? Because if you do, youâre going the right way about it.â
Tracy pushed away her bowl and stood up, her eyes brimming with tears.
âYou know what, Blake? It doesnât matter what I want, or what you want. Nick is like Jeff. He just is! You think you can lecture it out of him, or punish it out of him, but you canât.â
Blake stood up too. âWell, I can try. Iâm gonna take him out for a meal tonight in town. Talk to him man to man. One of his parents needs to tell that boy the difference between right and wrong.â
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â Tracy shouted. Blake was already heading for the door. âYou are so goddamned holier than thou, Blake Carter. Did you ever wonder why Iâm your only friend? Youâre not perfect, you know.â
Blake kept walking.
Tracy yelled after him. âIf Nickâs a hoodlum, heâs a hoodlum you raised! Not Jeff Stevens. You! Take a look in the mirror you . . . hypocrite!â
Blake shot her a look of real pain.
Then he walked out, slamming the door behind him.
FOR THE REST OF the afternoon Tracy caught up on paperwork. Then she cleaned the kitchen until every surface sparkled and reorganized the books in her library. Twice.
Why did Blake have to be so judgmental?
Worse than that, why did he always have to be right?
Afternoon turned to evening, then to night. When the hands came back in from the fields, Nick wasnât with them.
âMr. Carter came and picked him up,â one of the men told Tracy. âThey were headed into town, I think. Did you want us to bring him back here, Maâam?â
âNo, no. Thatâs OK,â Tracy said. âYou go on home.â
It was a bitterly cold night, not snowing, but with a wind blowing that could flay the skin from your bones like a razor blade. Usually Tracy loved nothing more than to curl up in front of the fire on a winterâs night like this, luxuriating in the warmth and savoring the precious hours alone with her book. But tonight she found she would read a page and take nothing in. She wandered into the kitchen to make herself some food, then found she wasnât hungry. If Nick were here theyâd have watched a show togetherâsomething mindless and funny like The Simpsons âbut Tracy hated watching television alone. Eventually she gave in to her jitters and began pacing the room, going over and over the argument with Blake in her mind like a child stubbornly picking at a scab.
I shouldnât have called him a hypocrite.
High-minded maybe. And rigid. But not a hypocrite.
Heâd looked so hurt when he walked out. That was the killer. Then again, Tracy had been hurt too. Did she really deserve to be punished for loving the free spirit in Nick? For finding him funny and charming, even when he was being exasperating? For being on his side?
Tracyâs parents, both long dead, had always been on her side. Especially her father. Then again, as a child Tracy had never given them cause to worry.
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