given her on their wedding day. Blake had beamed with pride to be escorting her, even though everybody knew they were mother and son. It all seemed like another life now.
âMrs. Schmidt?â
âI felt a lump,â Tracy blurted. âOn his head. Is he OK?â
âIâm afraid not,â Dr. Sherridan said gravely.
Tracy felt her stomach lurch, as if she were in an elevator and someone had just cut the cable. âWhat? What do you mean youâre afraid not?â
âWe need to operate immediately.â
Tracy blinked, uncomprehending. At the gala, she remembered thinking that Dr. Sherridan was handsome. Now he looked hideous, like a devil. Why was he saying these dreadful things?
âI have the consent forms here.â
Tracy looked at the doctor, then at the forms heâd thrust in front of her.
âB . . . but,â she stammered. âHe was talking to me. Just now.â
âI understand that. Itâs not uncommon after car accidents. These sorts of head trauma often take hours to present.â
âBut, he was fine,â Tracy insisted. âHe is fine.â
Dr. Sherridan placed a hand on Tracyâs arm.
âNo, Mrs. Schmidt. We ran the tests. Heâs not fine. Iâm sorry. The lump you felt is the result of a massive trauma to his brain. He was lucky not to have been killed instantly.â
Tracy wobbled. Iâm going to faint.
âHe still stands a solid chance of recovery,â the doctor informed her. âHowever, without an operation, your son will die.â
The word âNoâ formed on Tracyâs lips. But no sound came out.
âIâm sorry to be so blunt about it but time isnât on our side here. I need you to sign these forms, Mrs. Schmidt. Right now.â
Tracy stared at the pen in her hand. Her throat was dry. She tried to swallow but nothing happened. Looking back over her shoulder she watched an unusually tall nurse slip into Nicholasâs room. She had mud on her sneakers that left a trail on the clean hospital floor. Tracy fixed her eyes on the mud stains, trying to hold on to anything real. Because what Dr. Sherridan was telling her wasnât real. It couldnât be.
This is a practical joke. A really, really awful one.
When I sign my name with this pen, water will squirt in my face and weâll all start laughing.
âRight here.â
Dr. Sherridan pointed to the bottom of the paper.
Tracy scrawled her name.
âThank you. Weâll prepare him for surgery right away.â
âHe will . . . be OK?â Tracy croaked. She hated the fear in her own voice. âOnce you operate? You can fix this, canât you, Dr. Sherridan?â
Dr. Sherridan looked her in the eye.
âWeâll know more once the operationâs under way. Iâm hopeful. But scans only tell us so much.â
âBut . . .â
âI promise to let you know as soon as weâre done, Mrs. Schmidt.â
He walked away.
TRACY SAT OUTSIDE THE operating theater, praying.
She didnât believe in God. But she tried to make a deal with him anyway.
Let him live and Iâll do anything you ask.
Let him live and take me instead.
If only she hadnât had that stupid argument with Blake! He was always such a careful driver. Had he been distracted because he was still upset with her?
I shouldnât have let him take Nick out. Not until heâd calmed down.
The what if s rolled endlessly through Tracyâs mind until she couldnât think anymore. What if Iâd sent Nick to his room instead of out on the ranch? What if Iâd taken him out instead of Blake? What if theyâd taken another route home? Exhausted, she put her head in her hands. She wished Blake were here to hold her hand. But Blake Carter would never be here again. Blake was dead, gone forever, and Tracy hadnât even found a second to mourn him. Nick filled every atom of her being.
Just let him live,
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