be SPECTACULAR.
3.12pm
“ A boy could totally set me back.
Again.”
Why do I never listen to myself?? I am so wise
under all this self-destructiveness and pink.
On the other hand, I really like Evvy. I should
just see him with no relationship, just enjoy him. We have so much
fun together, or we did.
I feel a bit stupid and unevolved demanding to
be a couple or it’s off. When did I become one of THOSE
chicks??
I’m CLEARLY not ready for a
relationship.
8.39pm
I feel so unbelievably happy. Just free of
something heavy!!
I did the brave
(brave ALWAYS means stupid)
thing and stopped in at Everard’s on my way
home from Forest Lake.
I just died when I saw him. He looked so
gorgeous.
His sister let me in, and her and her mum
looked so surprised and happy to see me. Then I knocked on Evvy’s
door and let myself in without pausing, and his face like totally
lit up when he saw me. Was magical.
He was all, “Hey woman!! What are you doing
here??”
I was all, “Oh, I was at the lake, thought I’d
stop in on my way home.”
Then he was all curious as to what I was up to,
like I was up to something suspicious.
(any one that writes in her diary so much is a
suspicious character I say)
THEN he took me outside to his car, and he’d
crashed it!!! Oh his poor beautiful car.
“ Now who’s the better driver,” I
laughed.
Ever laughed too. He was spewing about his car,
telling me all about what happened, then his mum came out with us
and she told me about it, too, and I just felt all warm and fuzzy,
cause they were both making me feel really loved and welcome and
wanted.
So then we headed back to his room, and he sat
on his bed, silenced his precious Foxtel sports and asked me, “Did
you hear about Saturday night?”
Unsure what part he meant
(other than crushing me with his ‘I don’t care’
responses),
I was all, “No, what happened?”
“ I made your sister cry.” He
actually seemed really sad about it.
“ What!!” This was news to me. “Nat
said she gave you a revving but that was it.”
“ Noooo-ho-ho,” he replied. “We had a
TALK, and she started crying.”
I looked and felt puzzled. “But why? Over
what?”
Evvy sighed.
(this must be hard for him – admitting
fault)
“ Over you being so sick and alone,
and my…my treatment of you.”
(oh, don’t you dare go grow a heart now,
Everard!!)
Then he changed the subject.
“ It’s not three weeks yet,” he
started.
“ Noooo-ho-ho,” I replied.
Ever grinned. “Smart ass.” Pause. “You ring me
Tuesday night, you come over now…” He trailed off.
I laughed. “One of us has to make the
effort.”
He laughed too.
(God I love when he’s nice)
Then, “I looked for you and Dan all
night.”
My heart just about swelled and exploded. “You
did?”
He nodded. “All. Night.”
“ Well, we were there. We never left
Mary St…”
“ Whereabouts were you?”
“ On the stage downstairs mainly…” I
thought about that freak pashing me.
“ ON THE STAGE?? You must have been
drunk!”
“ You missed this freak kissing me,
and I pushed him so hard he went flying across the floor and landed
on his ass hahaha!”
Ever laughed too. “You have this funny shit you
do, woman.” He looked sad then, like he’d missed out on something
and he didn’t like it.
“ Sooo,” I eventually said into the
silence.
“ So,” he replied, watching me
carefully.
But it was a good watch. It made me shiver, his
eyes on me like that. “It stands the same with me,” he finally
said, crushing me. “I can’t do it.”
“ I know,” I replied, determined to
be big and zen and damn near pink monk like. “I shouldn’t have
pressured you. I should’ve known you couldn’t do it.”
Evvy looked like he was about to fall over and
die, he was so surprised at my response. What was he expecting?
Tantrums?? Yells?? My sister??
“ It’s up to you what we do,” he
managed to splutter
3.12pm
“ A boy could totally set me back.
Again.”
Why do I never listen to myself?? I am so wise
under all this self-destructiveness and pink.
On the other hand, I really like Evvy. I should
just see him with no relationship, just enjoy him. We have so much
fun together, or we did.
I feel a bit stupid and unevolved demanding to
be a couple or it’s off. When did I become one of THOSE
chicks??
I’m CLEARLY not ready for a
relationship.
8.39pm
I feel so unbelievably happy. Just free of
something heavy!!
I did the brave
(brave ALWAYS means stupid)
thing and stopped in at Everard’s on my way
home from Forest Lake.
I just died when I saw him. He looked so
gorgeous.
His sister let me in, and her and her mum
looked so surprised and happy to see me. Then I knocked on Evvy’s
door and let myself in without pausing, and his face like totally
lit up when he saw me. Was magical.
He was all, “Hey woman!! What are you doing
here??”
I was all, “Oh, I was at the lake, thought I’d
stop in on my way home.”
Then he was all curious as to what I was up to,
like I was up to something suspicious.
(any one that writes in her diary so much is a
suspicious character I say)
THEN he took me outside to his car, and he’d
crashed it!!! Oh his poor beautiful car.
“ Now who’s the better driver,” I
laughed.
Ever laughed too. He was spewing about his car,
telling me all about what happened, then his mum came out with us
and she told me about it, too, and I just felt all warm and fuzzy,
cause they were both making me feel really loved and welcome and
wanted.
So then we headed back to his room, and he sat
on his bed, silenced his precious Foxtel sports and asked me, “Did
you hear about Saturday night?”
Unsure what part he meant
(other than crushing me with his ‘I don’t care’
responses),
I was all, “No, what happened?”
“ I made your sister cry.” He
actually seemed really sad about it.
“ What!!” This was news to me. “Nat
said she gave you a revving but that was it.”
“ Noooo-ho-ho,” he replied. “We had a
TALK, and she started crying.”
I looked and felt puzzled. “But why? Over
what?”
Evvy sighed.
(this must be hard for him – admitting
fault)
“ Over you being so sick and alone,
and my…my treatment of you.”
(oh, don’t you dare go grow a heart now,
Everard!!)
Then he changed the subject.
“ It’s not three weeks yet,” he
started.
“ Noooo-ho-ho,” I replied.
Ever grinned. “Smart ass.” Pause. “You ring me
Tuesday night, you come over now…” He trailed off.
I laughed. “One of us has to make the
effort.”
He laughed too.
(God I love when he’s nice)
Then, “I looked for you and Dan all
night.”
My heart just about swelled and exploded. “You
did?”
He nodded. “All. Night.”
“ Well, we were there. We never left
Mary St…”
“ Whereabouts were you?”
“ On the stage downstairs mainly…” I
thought about that freak pashing me.
“ ON THE STAGE?? You must have been
drunk!”
“ You missed this freak kissing me,
and I pushed him so hard he went flying across the floor and landed
on his ass hahaha!”
Ever laughed too. “You have this funny shit you
do, woman.” He looked sad then, like he’d missed out on something
and he didn’t like it.
“ Sooo,” I eventually said into the
silence.
“ So,” he replied, watching me
carefully.
But it was a good watch. It made me shiver, his
eyes on me like that. “It stands the same with me,” he finally
said, crushing me. “I can’t do it.”
“ I know,” I replied, determined to
be big and zen and damn near pink monk like. “I shouldn’t have
pressured you. I should’ve known you couldn’t do it.”
Evvy looked like he was about to fall over and
die, he was so surprised at my response. What was he expecting?
Tantrums?? Yells?? My sister??
“ It’s up to you what we do,” he
managed to splutter
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