Sad Desk Salad

Sad Desk Salad by Jessica Grose Page B

Book: Sad Desk Salad by Jessica Grose Read Free Book Online
Authors: Jessica Grose
Tags: Fiction, Humorous, Satire, Contemporary Women
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about me lately, and she posted this thing from my hometown newspaper from when I was a kid. There’s no way she would have been able to find that unless she knew me.
     
TheSevAbides (8:29:32): Hmm, I don’t know about all that. Maybe the hate blogger just figured out where you were from through clever Googling and maybe the newspaper recently digitized their archives. I mean, how do you explain how she got the photo of me from high school?
     
Alex182 (8:30:23): I guess.
     
    Now Tina’s just making me feel like a paranoid loon. Maybe the sleepless night and all the stress of this job have turned me into exactly that. Still, I wish I could get back to the closeness I felt toward her on Monday night (we sang on the subway together!). It’s supposed to be us against them, isn’t it? Maybe she’d feel just as worked up as I do if she knew that some of us might be about to lose our jobs. Not that I’m in the mood to share that with her.
     
Alex182 (8:31:24): Whatever, I need to get back to posting.
     
    I rewatch the clip of the First Lady so that I can accurately transcribe some of what she’s saying and eke out an angle, but as I’m watching I notice that Savannah Guthrie cannot stop giggling dorkily at everything MObama says. “I think that our parents have a right to expect that their kids will not be served pizza and Cheetos at every lunch,” Michelle says, to which Savannah guffaws. Then Michelle says something about fresh produce at schools, and Savannah, absurdly, giggles. I clip together every chuckle and gasp into one big Savannah Guthrie laughing supercut, and post that with the title “Savannah Guthrie Takes Michelle Obama Super Seriously.” I file this to Moira at around nine forty-five.
     
MoiraPoira (9:46:22): You’re on a roll today. I love your vigour!
     
Alex182 (9:47:24): Thanks!
     
MoiraPoira (9:47:59): I guess you took my advice to grow a pair. This is good to know, because I just got word back from our lawyer.
     
Alex182 (9:48:34): And???
     
MoiraPoira (9:49:12): You’re clear to post the video. He says it’s fair use. You just need to be sure to word the post and the headline in a vague enough way so that we don’t sound like we’re asserting the video’s of Rebecca—we’re just alleging it. I still want you to contact Rebecca and Darleen for comment, of course.
     
Alex182 (9:50:03): OK. How long should I give them to respond before I publish it?
     
MoiraPoira (9:51:23): Reach out to them now and then start writing the post. Send it to me when you’re done with it so that I can go over it with the lawyer. We’ll include their responses if they do get back to you quickly, but even if they don’t we’re publishing that sucker at 1 PM. I’ve already loaded the video into our player.
     
Alex182 (9:53:02): Gotcha. Wow.
     
    My early morning ferocity is slightly diminished by the prospect of actually confronting the intense Darleen West about her daughter’s drug-addled antics. But something inside me has shifted today, and I know I have to publish the video. I could be unemployed by the end of the quarter. My mom will be crestfallen if I lose this job.
    I go to the Darleen4Senate website and locate the “Contact Me” tab. The site’s layout is clean and bright, with flashy blue lettering and Darleen’s tight smile adorning the front page. I click on an envelope icon. She’s got it rigged up so the page announces, “You’ve got mail!” as soon as I hover over the envelope. I quickly type an e-mail:
     
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Looking for Comment: Video of your daughter Rebecca
     
Dear Darleen:
     
I’m a writer for a website for women called Chick Habit. We’ve received a video that we believe is of your daughter Rebecca. It shows her snorting cocaine and taking her shirt off. You can watch the video here: https://www.chickhabit.net/rebeccawestvideo.
We have not yet released this link, but we plan to this afternoon.
Given

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