sleepy.”
“All right. I gotta take off. Seven thirty meeting. But let’s talk tonight, for real.”
“Okay, see you tonight.”
I turn back to my computer and listen as the door closes behind him. I don’t want to look at him longer than I have to because I’m so churned up. I’m feeling so low at this point that I can’t help but navigate back to Breaking the Chick Habit before Moira sends me my marching orders. It’s been updated since I checked it yesterday. The latest post has the headline “Alex Lyons Cares About the Important Issues,” and the text beneath it is a complete reproduction of the post I did about the meowing Siamese trapped in the jar. I’m both relieved that this is as mean as the site’s gotten today and also, weirdly, a critical reader. The dig seems slightly beneath BTCH. Her insults usually cut closer to the bone.
Finally, an IM from Moira pops onto my screen.
MoiraPoira (6:40:14): Glad to see you’re on early today.
Alex182 (6:40:43): Sorry again about yesterday.
MoiraPoira (6:41:02): Let’s not dwell on it.
Alex182 (6:42:42): Any word from the lawyer yet?
MoiraPoira (6:43:56): He hasn’t given me solid approval yet, but it’s looking good. He says he’ll let me know sometime this morning.
Alex182 (6:44:12): Word.
MoiraPoira (6:45:21): Pickings are slim today, but there’s yet another study debunking the link between autism and vaccines. That’s always good for a commenter brawl.
Alex182 (6:46:45): Sure thing.
Moira sends me the link to the study, and I write 312 words about how parents who don’t vaccinate their children—especially if they’re doing it because anti-vaccine bobblehead Jenny McCarthy told them to—should probably be sterilized. “If you’re letting a washed-up, fake-titted former MTV hostess give you medical advice, you don’t deserve to have children,” I write.
This is even more aggressive than I usually am, but I’m strangely emboldened by the hate blogger. If she’s going to rag on me for writing about kittens, for God’s sake, I’ll give her something to really complain about. Plus being provocative gets me comments, and comments get me page views.
I also see this as self-training for posting the Rebecca video. If I can handle this small controversy, maybe the bigger one won’t be so bad. I resolve not to read any of the comments on this post—or any post I write for the rest of the morning. I’m not letting anything break my stride. It’s a free country, I tell myself. I should be allowed to state my opinion without being attacked by the judgment police every goddamn second.
I file to Moira.
MoiraPoira (7:41:16): The first lady is about to be on the telly. Why don’t you check that out on your beloved Today show.
Alex182 (7:41:38): kk
I have a moment of Zen watching Michelle Obama gracefully answer Savannah Guthrie’s questions. She’s wearing a black-and-white patterned dress with bold geometric shapes and a fuchsia belt. I bliss out on her bright voice without really paying that much attention to what she’s saying. Child obesity something something. I know I’m going to have to rewind this portion if I’m going to write about it, but for this minute I am enjoying Michelle’s ultimate composure. I could use some of that myself today. In the midst of this calm, I get an IM from Tina.
TheSevAbides (8:23:29): So I had time to look into our hate blogger’s identity.
Alex182 (8:23:49): And??
TheSevAbides (8:24:15): As I suspected, our hater registered the site to a dummy company—Breaking the Chick Habit LLC—with only a PO box attached.
Alex182 (8:24:50): Bummer.
TheSevAbides (8:25:13): But I was able to see that her IP address is from Greenpoint, so at least we know she’s local.
Alex182 (8:27:34): I have this suspicion that our hate blogger is someone I know.
TheSevAbides (8:27:55): How’s that?
Alex182 (8:28:12): She’s been writing mainly
“All right. I gotta take off. Seven thirty meeting. But let’s talk tonight, for real.”
“Okay, see you tonight.”
I turn back to my computer and listen as the door closes behind him. I don’t want to look at him longer than I have to because I’m so churned up. I’m feeling so low at this point that I can’t help but navigate back to Breaking the Chick Habit before Moira sends me my marching orders. It’s been updated since I checked it yesterday. The latest post has the headline “Alex Lyons Cares About the Important Issues,” and the text beneath it is a complete reproduction of the post I did about the meowing Siamese trapped in the jar. I’m both relieved that this is as mean as the site’s gotten today and also, weirdly, a critical reader. The dig seems slightly beneath BTCH. Her insults usually cut closer to the bone.
Finally, an IM from Moira pops onto my screen.
MoiraPoira (6:40:14): Glad to see you’re on early today.
Alex182 (6:40:43): Sorry again about yesterday.
MoiraPoira (6:41:02): Let’s not dwell on it.
Alex182 (6:42:42): Any word from the lawyer yet?
MoiraPoira (6:43:56): He hasn’t given me solid approval yet, but it’s looking good. He says he’ll let me know sometime this morning.
Alex182 (6:44:12): Word.
MoiraPoira (6:45:21): Pickings are slim today, but there’s yet another study debunking the link between autism and vaccines. That’s always good for a commenter brawl.
Alex182 (6:46:45): Sure thing.
Moira sends me the link to the study, and I write 312 words about how parents who don’t vaccinate their children—especially if they’re doing it because anti-vaccine bobblehead Jenny McCarthy told them to—should probably be sterilized. “If you’re letting a washed-up, fake-titted former MTV hostess give you medical advice, you don’t deserve to have children,” I write.
This is even more aggressive than I usually am, but I’m strangely emboldened by the hate blogger. If she’s going to rag on me for writing about kittens, for God’s sake, I’ll give her something to really complain about. Plus being provocative gets me comments, and comments get me page views.
I also see this as self-training for posting the Rebecca video. If I can handle this small controversy, maybe the bigger one won’t be so bad. I resolve not to read any of the comments on this post—or any post I write for the rest of the morning. I’m not letting anything break my stride. It’s a free country, I tell myself. I should be allowed to state my opinion without being attacked by the judgment police every goddamn second.
I file to Moira.
MoiraPoira (7:41:16): The first lady is about to be on the telly. Why don’t you check that out on your beloved Today show.
Alex182 (7:41:38): kk
I have a moment of Zen watching Michelle Obama gracefully answer Savannah Guthrie’s questions. She’s wearing a black-and-white patterned dress with bold geometric shapes and a fuchsia belt. I bliss out on her bright voice without really paying that much attention to what she’s saying. Child obesity something something. I know I’m going to have to rewind this portion if I’m going to write about it, but for this minute I am enjoying Michelle’s ultimate composure. I could use some of that myself today. In the midst of this calm, I get an IM from Tina.
TheSevAbides (8:23:29): So I had time to look into our hate blogger’s identity.
Alex182 (8:23:49): And??
TheSevAbides (8:24:15): As I suspected, our hater registered the site to a dummy company—Breaking the Chick Habit LLC—with only a PO box attached.
Alex182 (8:24:50): Bummer.
TheSevAbides (8:25:13): But I was able to see that her IP address is from Greenpoint, so at least we know she’s local.
Alex182 (8:27:34): I have this suspicion that our hate blogger is someone I know.
TheSevAbides (8:27:55): How’s that?
Alex182 (8:28:12): She’s been writing mainly
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