obtuse.
"Elvis Presley's 'That's All Right'? The first rock and roll song to hit the charts? Parents warning their son that girl he's fooling with isn't any good for him?"
"Would your parents warn you off me?"
"They don't have to." His voice was hard. "I'm smart enough to figure it out myself. Alexis, you know we can't start something. There's too much at stake for both of us."
I swallowed hard, thinking we already had. "We aren't." But I was lying.
"The girls in the house are like my sisters. That's all any of them can be. That's the way the system works." He held my gaze until I looked away guiltily.
He was right. But that didn't change the way I felt.
The second part of our assignment was to write about how music affects you personally. I returned my attention to his paper and kept reading. "Music saved your life?" I watched him, waiting for his reaction.
"It hasn't yours?"
I frowned. "No, I don't think so. It's gotten me through some rough times, like heartbreak."
"No? Someone broke your heart?" He acted like that was news.
I couldn't tell whether he was teasing me or not. I laughed. "You think I'm too hard-hearted for that to happen?"
"No, just wondering what kind of douchebag would let you go."
My heart raced. If he was flirting with me again, he was killing me. "Getting your heart broken is part of growing up. I should thank the douches who broke mine before for making me more discerning about who I trust." My heart screamed at me to trust Zach, and wished he would trust me. "How did music save your life?"
He hesitated, staring at me like he was debating with himself. Finally, he shrugged. "I don't usually tell this story."
"It's for class. You have to. You want us to get an A, right?" I nodded, encouraging him.
He made a point of sighing so heavily he made me laugh.
"You started it," I said.
"Okay, but only because you coerced me." He took a deep breath. "Starting the story is always the hardest part. You have to picture the scene. My mom has a big, wooded lot, nearly an acre. The house is set far to the front of it, toward the street, which leaves a big expanse of private backyard.
"After a particularly nasty fight with her, where she kicked me out, again, I took my iPod and walked into the woods to think. What was I going to do now? She was already on the phone to my dad to take me. I heard her as I walked out. I only heard her side, but I could tell he was pushing back on the idea. He didn't want me either. Living with Dad was just as bad as living with Mom, just a different kind of hell.
"They bounced me between them, each hoping I would stick with the other until I went to college. They wanted me out of their hair and lives. They were done dealing with me.
"I stood out there in the cool of a June evening, listening to my music and thinking as the sun set. School was out for summer. I felt lost and trapped.
"How in the hell was I going to make it through summer until football season started again? How was I going to deal with life? I wanted out. Just wanted to lie down and die."
He licked his lips and got a faraway look in his eyes. "One particular song always made me feel like I could fly. I sat down and listened to it over and over until I felt my spirits soar. Until I felt just enough hope to keep me going. That if I could hang on long enough, I could find my place in the world.
"A wild rabbit hopped out from beneath a tree and stared at me, wiggling its nose. I'll never forget that. I told it to go away. Pointed at it. It just looked at me, wiggling its nose like it wasn't afraid of me.
"It was like a sign. If that rabbit could be face me down when I was so much bigger than it, I could be brave, too. I knew everything was going to be okay. I got up and went back in the house to deal with my shitty parents."
I put my hand on his arm again. "I'm sorry, Zach."
"About what?"
"Your crappy parents." I rested my hand on his shoulder.
"Don't be. I survived." His grin was
"Elvis Presley's 'That's All Right'? The first rock and roll song to hit the charts? Parents warning their son that girl he's fooling with isn't any good for him?"
"Would your parents warn you off me?"
"They don't have to." His voice was hard. "I'm smart enough to figure it out myself. Alexis, you know we can't start something. There's too much at stake for both of us."
I swallowed hard, thinking we already had. "We aren't." But I was lying.
"The girls in the house are like my sisters. That's all any of them can be. That's the way the system works." He held my gaze until I looked away guiltily.
He was right. But that didn't change the way I felt.
The second part of our assignment was to write about how music affects you personally. I returned my attention to his paper and kept reading. "Music saved your life?" I watched him, waiting for his reaction.
"It hasn't yours?"
I frowned. "No, I don't think so. It's gotten me through some rough times, like heartbreak."
"No? Someone broke your heart?" He acted like that was news.
I couldn't tell whether he was teasing me or not. I laughed. "You think I'm too hard-hearted for that to happen?"
"No, just wondering what kind of douchebag would let you go."
My heart raced. If he was flirting with me again, he was killing me. "Getting your heart broken is part of growing up. I should thank the douches who broke mine before for making me more discerning about who I trust." My heart screamed at me to trust Zach, and wished he would trust me. "How did music save your life?"
He hesitated, staring at me like he was debating with himself. Finally, he shrugged. "I don't usually tell this story."
"It's for class. You have to. You want us to get an A, right?" I nodded, encouraging him.
He made a point of sighing so heavily he made me laugh.
"You started it," I said.
"Okay, but only because you coerced me." He took a deep breath. "Starting the story is always the hardest part. You have to picture the scene. My mom has a big, wooded lot, nearly an acre. The house is set far to the front of it, toward the street, which leaves a big expanse of private backyard.
"After a particularly nasty fight with her, where she kicked me out, again, I took my iPod and walked into the woods to think. What was I going to do now? She was already on the phone to my dad to take me. I heard her as I walked out. I only heard her side, but I could tell he was pushing back on the idea. He didn't want me either. Living with Dad was just as bad as living with Mom, just a different kind of hell.
"They bounced me between them, each hoping I would stick with the other until I went to college. They wanted me out of their hair and lives. They were done dealing with me.
"I stood out there in the cool of a June evening, listening to my music and thinking as the sun set. School was out for summer. I felt lost and trapped.
"How in the hell was I going to make it through summer until football season started again? How was I going to deal with life? I wanted out. Just wanted to lie down and die."
He licked his lips and got a faraway look in his eyes. "One particular song always made me feel like I could fly. I sat down and listened to it over and over until I felt my spirits soar. Until I felt just enough hope to keep me going. That if I could hang on long enough, I could find my place in the world.
"A wild rabbit hopped out from beneath a tree and stared at me, wiggling its nose. I'll never forget that. I told it to go away. Pointed at it. It just looked at me, wiggling its nose like it wasn't afraid of me.
"It was like a sign. If that rabbit could be face me down when I was so much bigger than it, I could be brave, too. I knew everything was going to be okay. I got up and went back in the house to deal with my shitty parents."
I put my hand on his arm again. "I'm sorry, Zach."
"About what?"
"Your crappy parents." I rested my hand on his shoulder.
"Don't be. I survived." His grin was
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