melancholy. "I survived it all. The summer after my freshman year, I went home and lived with my mom again. I berated myself the whole time for not finding a way to live anywhere else and still have money for school. I was suffocating, had nearly the same desperate feeling. It was so powerful, it scared me.
"That night, I had a dream that I was flying over campus. So free and light and happy. That song was playing. I was flying to that song.
"When I woke up, I looked at the lyrics in a different way, and realized it had been talking about flying all the time. I knew I'd made the right choice. I haven't looked back. I haven't felt that desperate since."
"That's beautiful, really awesome." I choked up. "What song were you listening to?"
He shook his head. "That's private. Between me and the song. I'll never tell anyone."
"But why?" I turned eyes wide with wonder on him.
"Songs are powerful at bringing up memories. Like party songs make you crave a beer. And songs you heard in elementary school bring back memories from that time. That song has the power to bring me to my knees with the memories it calls up, both good and bad. I listen to it when I need reminding. Or really need to fly. I won't give anyone the power to use it against me ever again."
"I wouldn't—"
He took his laptop from me and set it aside. Then he gently cupped my chin and tipped my face up until our eyes met. "I believe you think you wouldn't. But in life, you never know." He stared into my eyes.
Our lips were inches apart. I closed my eyes, trying to hear a song that made me feel like I was flying. His lips came down on mine, soft and warm. The first gentle strains began to play.
As his kiss grew more insistent, the music grew louder in my head. I slid into his lap, wrapped my arms around his neck, and opened my mouth and my heart to him.
No one else had ever made me hear music or soar like I was flying. He slid his hands around my waist and up beneath my blouse.
I couldn't get enough of him. When his mouth left mine to sear kisses down my neck, I gasped. His hand brushed my breast and I was on fire, wanting his touch everywhere.
Necking is like a dance. One passionate move and then the next until I ended up on my back with Zach braced over me, kissing me in the chasm between my breasts. I pressed his head to me, wishing his lips would never leave my skin. "Zach."
It was the wrong thing to say.
He pulled back, bracing himself above me and staring down at me with dark, tortured, determined eyes. "I can't do this. You have to go."
He rolled next to me and ran his hands through his hair, still breathing hard. "We're playing with fire, Alexis. My head knows the right thing to do, but my heart is talking faster. If I'm not careful, I'll start listening to it. I don't do emotional commitment. And I'm not risking everything for a quick screw."
His words stung. "That's a crappy thing to say," I said. "I should go."
He grabbed my wrist. "I'm sorry. That came out wrong. I didn't mean to imply…" He ran his hand through his hair again and begged me with his eyes. "If things were different…"
"But they aren't." I straightened my blouse and ran my fingers through my hair like a comb as he sat up next to me. I scooped up my laptop.
"All the girls get a crush on one of the house guys at least once. That's what Kayla says. It's a rite of passage." I tried to hide my disappointment and hurt behind a light tone. "Nice to get mine out of the way right off." I grabbed my laptop and headed for the door.
"Wait!"
I didn't listen to him. I threw the door open just as Morgan came down the hall.
Zach swore beneath his breath. " Perfect timing."
Morgan's eyes narrowed when she saw me. "She's not supposed to be down here." Her voice was like ice and judgment.
"Chill, Morgan," Zach said as he shrugged off the intimacy between us. Though if Morgan had half an ounce of emotional intelligence, she would feel the tension crackling between us. "That's what
"That night, I had a dream that I was flying over campus. So free and light and happy. That song was playing. I was flying to that song.
"When I woke up, I looked at the lyrics in a different way, and realized it had been talking about flying all the time. I knew I'd made the right choice. I haven't looked back. I haven't felt that desperate since."
"That's beautiful, really awesome." I choked up. "What song were you listening to?"
He shook his head. "That's private. Between me and the song. I'll never tell anyone."
"But why?" I turned eyes wide with wonder on him.
"Songs are powerful at bringing up memories. Like party songs make you crave a beer. And songs you heard in elementary school bring back memories from that time. That song has the power to bring me to my knees with the memories it calls up, both good and bad. I listen to it when I need reminding. Or really need to fly. I won't give anyone the power to use it against me ever again."
"I wouldn't—"
He took his laptop from me and set it aside. Then he gently cupped my chin and tipped my face up until our eyes met. "I believe you think you wouldn't. But in life, you never know." He stared into my eyes.
Our lips were inches apart. I closed my eyes, trying to hear a song that made me feel like I was flying. His lips came down on mine, soft and warm. The first gentle strains began to play.
As his kiss grew more insistent, the music grew louder in my head. I slid into his lap, wrapped my arms around his neck, and opened my mouth and my heart to him.
No one else had ever made me hear music or soar like I was flying. He slid his hands around my waist and up beneath my blouse.
I couldn't get enough of him. When his mouth left mine to sear kisses down my neck, I gasped. His hand brushed my breast and I was on fire, wanting his touch everywhere.
Necking is like a dance. One passionate move and then the next until I ended up on my back with Zach braced over me, kissing me in the chasm between my breasts. I pressed his head to me, wishing his lips would never leave my skin. "Zach."
It was the wrong thing to say.
He pulled back, bracing himself above me and staring down at me with dark, tortured, determined eyes. "I can't do this. You have to go."
He rolled next to me and ran his hands through his hair, still breathing hard. "We're playing with fire, Alexis. My head knows the right thing to do, but my heart is talking faster. If I'm not careful, I'll start listening to it. I don't do emotional commitment. And I'm not risking everything for a quick screw."
His words stung. "That's a crappy thing to say," I said. "I should go."
He grabbed my wrist. "I'm sorry. That came out wrong. I didn't mean to imply…" He ran his hand through his hair again and begged me with his eyes. "If things were different…"
"But they aren't." I straightened my blouse and ran my fingers through my hair like a comb as he sat up next to me. I scooped up my laptop.
"All the girls get a crush on one of the house guys at least once. That's what Kayla says. It's a rite of passage." I tried to hide my disappointment and hurt behind a light tone. "Nice to get mine out of the way right off." I grabbed my laptop and headed for the door.
"Wait!"
I didn't listen to him. I threw the door open just as Morgan came down the hall.
Zach swore beneath his breath. " Perfect timing."
Morgan's eyes narrowed when she saw me. "She's not supposed to be down here." Her voice was like ice and judgment.
"Chill, Morgan," Zach said as he shrugged off the intimacy between us. Though if Morgan had half an ounce of emotional intelligence, she would feel the tension crackling between us. "That's what
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