candy factory said: TIMOTHY ANTHONY MALACHY WILLOUGHBY MELANOFF, ESQUIRE, OF COUNSEL . The job allowed him to be bossy and belittling, but he adored his wife and was never ruthless again.
The twins, Bill and Joe, never married. Today they operate a chain of clothing stores called Big Sweaters, which offers two-for-one prices to parents of twins.
Jane grew up and became a professor of feminist literature. Eventually she married a man named Smith and had triplet daughters, whom she named Lavender, Arpeggio, and Noxzema.
The postmaster and his wife, in Switzerland, ran the little post office efficiently for many, many years. They never had children, and just as well, because they didn't care for the mess that children made. Sometimes Commander Melanoff, with his second wife, Nanny, and their six children when they were still young, visited Switzerland on vacations: hiking in the summer, skiing in the winter. They always cordially stopped in the village post office to say hello and have a cup of tea.
During such visits, the four former Willoughbys, who had no connection, after all, to the postmaster and his wife, always excused themselves politely and took a few moments to walk together up the serene little path nearby. There, at the foot of the mountain, they stood solemnly, passing binoculars back and forth and gazing at the treacherous peak that had orphaned the four of them. Together they saluted the distant figures of their parents, who had frozen into place, happy to have achieved such heights, with gleaming smiles on their faces forever.
It was not a sad occasion, really. Just something the Willoughbys did and always followed with cocoa.
THE END
Glossary
ACQUISITION means something that you have just gotten or received. Libraries and museums actually have acquisition departments, which obtain new things for their collections. If your dad is a stockbroker or a lawyer, ask him what "mergers and acquisitions" means. Fifty points if you understand his answer.
AFFABLE means good-natured and friendly. There are whole groups of people who are known for being affable. Cheerleaders, for example. Or Mormon missionaries.
ALABASTER is actually a kind of mineral used for sculptures. But it can also be an adjective meaning white like that mineral. See if you can remember where the word alabaster appears in "America the Beautiful." Then you can be a Jeopardy! contestant, as this author once was.
AUSPICIOUS means that there are a lot of good omens indicating that something is going to turn out well. If you happen to see a large number of people wearing scarlet footwear in October, it is auspicious. It means the Red Sox are going to win the World Series. Yes!
BEASTLY means thoroughly unpleasant and has nothing to do with beasts, really, unless you are describing a warthog or a hyena, both of which are beastly as well as being beasts.
BILIOUS has several meanings, and one pretty disgusting one is "about to vomit." Another is "extremely unpleasant to look at," and that is what the Willoughby twins meant when they described their sweater as bilious.
CONFECTIONARY has to do with candies. You can also spell it with an e: confectionery (remember that, if you are ever on Wheel of Fortune ). A confectioner is a guy who makes or sells candy. Willy Wonka was a confectioner.
CONSPIRACY is a plan to do something subversive. Three guys planning a camping trip ... nah, that's just three guys planning a camping trip. But three guys planning to take a camping trip and rob a bank along the way ... that's a conspiracy.
CONTEMPLATING means thinking about something very calmly and seriously. Sometimes you will hear the phrase "contemplating your navel," which of course means thinking very seriously about your bellybutton, and makes no sense at all, because what dolt would do that? There is a whole order of nuns, incidentally, called contemplative nuns. They spend all their time thinking very calmly and seriously, but not about their navels.
The twins, Bill and Joe, never married. Today they operate a chain of clothing stores called Big Sweaters, which offers two-for-one prices to parents of twins.
Jane grew up and became a professor of feminist literature. Eventually she married a man named Smith and had triplet daughters, whom she named Lavender, Arpeggio, and Noxzema.
The postmaster and his wife, in Switzerland, ran the little post office efficiently for many, many years. They never had children, and just as well, because they didn't care for the mess that children made. Sometimes Commander Melanoff, with his second wife, Nanny, and their six children when they were still young, visited Switzerland on vacations: hiking in the summer, skiing in the winter. They always cordially stopped in the village post office to say hello and have a cup of tea.
During such visits, the four former Willoughbys, who had no connection, after all, to the postmaster and his wife, always excused themselves politely and took a few moments to walk together up the serene little path nearby. There, at the foot of the mountain, they stood solemnly, passing binoculars back and forth and gazing at the treacherous peak that had orphaned the four of them. Together they saluted the distant figures of their parents, who had frozen into place, happy to have achieved such heights, with gleaming smiles on their faces forever.
It was not a sad occasion, really. Just something the Willoughbys did and always followed with cocoa.
THE END
Glossary
ACQUISITION means something that you have just gotten or received. Libraries and museums actually have acquisition departments, which obtain new things for their collections. If your dad is a stockbroker or a lawyer, ask him what "mergers and acquisitions" means. Fifty points if you understand his answer.
AFFABLE means good-natured and friendly. There are whole groups of people who are known for being affable. Cheerleaders, for example. Or Mormon missionaries.
ALABASTER is actually a kind of mineral used for sculptures. But it can also be an adjective meaning white like that mineral. See if you can remember where the word alabaster appears in "America the Beautiful." Then you can be a Jeopardy! contestant, as this author once was.
AUSPICIOUS means that there are a lot of good omens indicating that something is going to turn out well. If you happen to see a large number of people wearing scarlet footwear in October, it is auspicious. It means the Red Sox are going to win the World Series. Yes!
BEASTLY means thoroughly unpleasant and has nothing to do with beasts, really, unless you are describing a warthog or a hyena, both of which are beastly as well as being beasts.
BILIOUS has several meanings, and one pretty disgusting one is "about to vomit." Another is "extremely unpleasant to look at," and that is what the Willoughby twins meant when they described their sweater as bilious.
CONFECTIONARY has to do with candies. You can also spell it with an e: confectionery (remember that, if you are ever on Wheel of Fortune ). A confectioner is a guy who makes or sells candy. Willy Wonka was a confectioner.
CONSPIRACY is a plan to do something subversive. Three guys planning a camping trip ... nah, that's just three guys planning a camping trip. But three guys planning to take a camping trip and rob a bank along the way ... that's a conspiracy.
CONTEMPLATING means thinking about something very calmly and seriously. Sometimes you will hear the phrase "contemplating your navel," which of course means thinking very seriously about your bellybutton, and makes no sense at all, because what dolt would do that? There is a whole order of nuns, incidentally, called contemplative nuns. They spend all their time thinking very calmly and seriously, but not about their navels.
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