fucking know you, and I know what you look like when in that position, when in that frame of mind.” He’s on his feet and takes my shoulders in his sharp grip. “Why would you allow anyone to do that to you again? After everything? You let him take ownership of you and call you Charlotte, like… like he did.” The tears are streaming down his face and now mine.
“I don’t know,” I breathe.
He looks up at the trees and nods before looking at me again. “He will kill you. You know that, right? If not physically, he will take all that’s left, everything I love.”
“That’s what you don’t understand, Nate.” I sigh, tears flowing freely at the truth I know deep inside that I’m about to unleash. “I don’t have anything left to kill, and to physically die would probably fix everything else.”
The shock presented on his face, followed by anger, raises the hairs on the back of my neck, and my heart quivers in my chest.
He slams me against the tree trunk, bringing a squeak from my throat. I’m not scared of him; it’s more like he… thrills me. His violence has shaken something deep inside me.
“Are you really that fucked up?” he growls.
I lick my lips and will him to kiss me as I stare at his. “Yes,” I rasp.
“Why won’t you fight? Is that what you want? To give up?” he’s practically shrieking. It pains him to see me like this, and yet it makes me hot. Yeah, I’m that fucked up. “Fine!” he growls, and pulls me from the tree and spins me so my back meets his heaving chest. My breathing is erratic and then he pulls me to the ground so I’m on his lap and his lips are to my ear. “This is what you want?!”
I tip my head back and wish he would just kiss me. I want his lips so bad, but instead I feel his hard grip on my inner thigh.
“Is this the only way to have you? Is this the only way I can ever have you?”
I want him to stop talking, stop asking me things I can’t put words to. I don’t want him to be angry. I don’t want him to think about those days, and yet… he is right. Slowly I climb and drag myself from the fog, and, I push at his grasp on my warm sex. He grips me and I begin to do something I have never done against Nate. I fight against him. I’ve never had to fight him, not ever. But this is different; his intentions are different. Nate is punishing me, not doing it because I asked him to for the love of my daddy. He’s not doing it because he wants me and loves me; he’s punishing me like Paul would.
I have finally crushed my snowflake.
Now I fight, I fight hard, pushing and thrusting my weight. Never have I fought against Paul, but that was a punishment I knew I had to take. I can’t have Nate take this from me or him. I can’t take the last piece of him away and turn him into a monster, too.
“Fight harder,” he demands.
I elbow him in the ribs hard enough to make him grunt, and instead of his hands on my thigh and sex, they are at my waist. He pants in my ear as I pant against my damp chest, which pricks against the breeze from the lake.
“Let me go, Nate,” I say catching my breath.
“Not yet.”
I don’t know what to do, so I let him slide his arms around me, swallowing me. I lean into him, my hands resting on his thighs. The thumping of his heartbeat against my back is like an old soothing song, welcoming me home. I want to go home.
“Charlie, you scare me.” I try to lean forward, needing to be able to turn and look at him, but he won’t allow it, and pulls me tighter. “I’m scared the only love you will accept is one that causes you actual pain.”
“I’m scared for the same reason, Nate. If I stay with you, it will be nothing but pain for you .”
Nate buries his mouth into my neck and kisses my skin so softly my chest aches and fresh tears prick against my eyes. “Me too,” he breathes against the dampness of my skin, his steamy breath almost a tickle. “But I can’t love another. It will always be you, Charlie.
“I don’t know,” I breathe.
He looks up at the trees and nods before looking at me again. “He will kill you. You know that, right? If not physically, he will take all that’s left, everything I love.”
“That’s what you don’t understand, Nate.” I sigh, tears flowing freely at the truth I know deep inside that I’m about to unleash. “I don’t have anything left to kill, and to physically die would probably fix everything else.”
The shock presented on his face, followed by anger, raises the hairs on the back of my neck, and my heart quivers in my chest.
He slams me against the tree trunk, bringing a squeak from my throat. I’m not scared of him; it’s more like he… thrills me. His violence has shaken something deep inside me.
“Are you really that fucked up?” he growls.
I lick my lips and will him to kiss me as I stare at his. “Yes,” I rasp.
“Why won’t you fight? Is that what you want? To give up?” he’s practically shrieking. It pains him to see me like this, and yet it makes me hot. Yeah, I’m that fucked up. “Fine!” he growls, and pulls me from the tree and spins me so my back meets his heaving chest. My breathing is erratic and then he pulls me to the ground so I’m on his lap and his lips are to my ear. “This is what you want?!”
I tip my head back and wish he would just kiss me. I want his lips so bad, but instead I feel his hard grip on my inner thigh.
“Is this the only way to have you? Is this the only way I can ever have you?”
I want him to stop talking, stop asking me things I can’t put words to. I don’t want him to be angry. I don’t want him to think about those days, and yet… he is right. Slowly I climb and drag myself from the fog, and, I push at his grasp on my warm sex. He grips me and I begin to do something I have never done against Nate. I fight against him. I’ve never had to fight him, not ever. But this is different; his intentions are different. Nate is punishing me, not doing it because I asked him to for the love of my daddy. He’s not doing it because he wants me and loves me; he’s punishing me like Paul would.
I have finally crushed my snowflake.
Now I fight, I fight hard, pushing and thrusting my weight. Never have I fought against Paul, but that was a punishment I knew I had to take. I can’t have Nate take this from me or him. I can’t take the last piece of him away and turn him into a monster, too.
“Fight harder,” he demands.
I elbow him in the ribs hard enough to make him grunt, and instead of his hands on my thigh and sex, they are at my waist. He pants in my ear as I pant against my damp chest, which pricks against the breeze from the lake.
“Let me go, Nate,” I say catching my breath.
“Not yet.”
I don’t know what to do, so I let him slide his arms around me, swallowing me. I lean into him, my hands resting on his thighs. The thumping of his heartbeat against my back is like an old soothing song, welcoming me home. I want to go home.
“Charlie, you scare me.” I try to lean forward, needing to be able to turn and look at him, but he won’t allow it, and pulls me tighter. “I’m scared the only love you will accept is one that causes you actual pain.”
“I’m scared for the same reason, Nate. If I stay with you, it will be nothing but pain for you .”
Nate buries his mouth into my neck and kisses my skin so softly my chest aches and fresh tears prick against my eyes. “Me too,” he breathes against the dampness of my skin, his steamy breath almost a tickle. “But I can’t love another. It will always be you, Charlie.
Similar Books
