Ribblestrop Forever! by Andy Mulligan

helicopter, which was hovering over a long stretch of motorway. Strewn along it were parts of a small aeroplane and, as the camera inched towards the elbow of a river, the wreckage of a bus
was visible too, being dragged out of the water.
    ‘Good Lord,’ said Mr Ian, standing.
    ‘That’s the M5,’ said Cuthbertson. ‘Looks like an air crash. Look at that mess . . .’
    Both men moved towards the screen, which was now filled by a grave-faced police officer. He summarised the full horror and the mugshots of three bemused adults were flashed up, one after
another. Cuthbertson found that his mouth was open and he felt light-headed again.
    ‘It’s them,’ he whispered. ‘Again!’
    ‘Ribblestrop? Are they the teachers?’
    ‘Yes. No control whatsoever. How can one bunch of kids cause such chaos?’ He turned back to Mr Ian. ‘I’ll tell you another thing; that was Eddie Shackleton talking
– the deputy chief.’
    ‘I’ve lost you, Cuthbertson.’
    ‘That copper talking to the camera. Eddie Shackleton. Deputy Chief Constable now. My God, the favours we’ve done each other . . .’
    Cuthbertson downed half his beer and wiped his mouth.
    ‘I need to see him, don’t I? This could be an opportunity for me. If he hates them even half as much as I do . . . If he wants them closed down, I might be just the man he’s
looking for. Dammit, who’s that?’
    His phone was ringing. The ringtone was the siren of a police car and the volume was rising dramatically. He checked the number and winced.
    ‘Lady Vyner,’ he whispered. ‘I said I’d call her at lunch.’
    A furious voice buzzed from the speaker and Cuthbertson closed his eyes.
    ‘Good afternoon, ma’am,’ he said, at last. ‘I’ve been so busy—’
    The buzzing intensified.
    ‘I’ll get there as soon as I can,’ said Cuthbertson, loudly. ‘Of course, ma’am. We can’t seal the place until the notice has been served, that’s the law
of the land.’
    The voice grew shrill, as furious as a half-swatted hornet.
    ‘Look,’ he said. ‘I will come as soon as I can. I have to be disguised, though, don’t I? I need the ice-cream van. My men will do their best and I will call the squad
leader. Right now, yes. I’ll do it now. Yes! Did the dogs arrive? Good.’
    He switched the phone off and sat back down.
    ‘She’s another one who needs murdering,’ he said. ‘Every day she thinks of something more insulting to say. I’d better do what she asks and get down there. I have
to wear a wig. Sunglasses. That’s what it’s come to, Ian. And it can’t go on much longer.’
    Mr Ian stared at him.
    ‘We’ll get them all, lad. We’ll have them yet! Those kids don’t know what they’re in for.’

Chapter Thirteen
    The grand eviction took place the very next morning.
    In the relief of getting home safely, the children hadn’t noticed a thing. Once they were up and about, however, they discovered dramatic changes.
    ‘What’s going on?’ said Ruskin. ‘There’s no electricity.’
    Israel said, ‘There’s no water, either. And half our stuff’s missing.’
    Everyone gathered outside the dining hall. There was an enormous
Keep Out
sign screwed right across the doors and a coil of barbed wire under that.
    The headmaster arrived, looking agitated. ‘Stay calm, everybody,’ he said. ‘I think there’s been a slight misunderstanding. Lady Vyner’s gone on the offensive, by
the looks of things, and taken advantage of our absence yesterday.’
    ‘I think you’re right, sir,’ said Captain Routon. ‘There are guards everywhere. Doesn’t look pleasant.’
    ‘I’ve been trying to find her, but she won’t see me.’
    ‘They’re boarding up the windows,’ said Oli.
    ‘We can soon un-board them,’ said Eric. ‘If they think we’re leaving, they’re going to get the shock of their lives!’
    ‘We can get this open,’ said Sanjay, nodding at the dining-hall doors. ‘Just a couple of grinders. There are bolt-cutters in the