he doesn't seem to notice as he storms up to me.
"The truth is that I didn't hit you with that car! I went to fucking jail for a whole fucking year for something I didn't fucking do! And you know what? It sucked. I resented every moment in juvie because I wasn't supposed to be there in the first place!"
His eyes go wide, his breathing is fast and furious. He turns around and focuses his attention on an outwardly shocked Damon, then scans the other members of our group, all of whom are equally shocked.
Caleb squeezes his eyes shut and winces, as if he wants to take back every truthful word he just spouted. When he opens his eyes, there's no emotion in them anymore. He's masked it.
"Happy now?" he growls.
FIFTEEN
Caleb
f my life wasn't complete shit before, it's definitely shit now. I just gave away the secret I promised to take to the grave. I betrayed my twin sister, and myself, all because I couldn't stand the way Maggie looked at me as she peered down from that damn platform. Her eyes were like glass, and the disappointed furrowing of her eyebrows made me want to scoop her up and take her to a place where nobody would deceive her or hurt her. A place where even I couldn't hurt her.
I fucked up. With Maggie, with Leah, with my parents ... with everything.
At this point I can't even trust myself not to fuck up. What's the use in trying to stay out of jail when, maybe, that's the best place for me? At least in jail I know where I stand and don't have to see disappointment on the faces of the people I care about.
Problem is, I don't want to be locked up again. I felt like a restless, caged animal in juvie, especially because I knew I didn't deserve to be there in the first place. Or maybe I did. Maybe I deserved to be locked up for lying to the judge and everyone else. I was piss drunk the night Maggie got hit with the car, and maybe my judgment was off when I told my sister I would cover for her.
By then it was too late.
All I wanted to do was protect Leah, since I knew she wouldn't be able to handle the stress of being arrested and stuck in a cell. I don't even know what's right and wrong anymore.
How did Maggie know I'd lied to her? A second ago, I thought the only way I could take that betrayed look off her face was to tell her the truth. Another bad move. She already knew the truth.
I want to escape, but I'm stuck here. I might not be in a cage, but it feels like I'm in one.
"No, I'm not happy," Maggie finally says, her voice low and sad.
I glare at her. "Great, 'cause that makes two of us."
"Three of us," Lenny says, still on the ground. "I think I'm gonna have a bruise on my sensitive ass cheek from you tackling me."
Tears are falling down Maggie's cheeks. She blinks a couple of times and swipes them away with her fingertips. "Do you hate me, Caleb?"
I should. I should hate her with all my soul, but I don't.
"You knew all along I didn't run into you, didn't you?" I say.
She nods. "I remembered bits and pieces like it was a puzzle, but it wasn't pieced together until-"
"Did you realize I wasn't the one who hit you before I left Paradise eight months ago?" I ask, needing to know the answer even though I'm dreading hearing it.
"Yes," she says softly.
I remember the times we spent together working at Mrs. Reynolds' house, when we fooled around in the gazebo and I ran my hands over her smooth, milky soft skin. "You knew I didn't hurt you, but you let me go along with thinking that you did. How could you?"
"By the time I realized who was really driving the car, I'd already forgiven you. It didn't matter."
"The hell it didn't matter!"
"Umm, time out. I think this activity is over," Damon says. "The three of us need to talk, like right now."
Now. That's Damon's favorite word.
The three of us leave the rest of the group at the platform with Dex and head for a picnic table by the parking lot.
Damon sighs as he looks at Maggie and me sitting opposite him. "Caleb, let me get this straight. You pled
"The truth is that I didn't hit you with that car! I went to fucking jail for a whole fucking year for something I didn't fucking do! And you know what? It sucked. I resented every moment in juvie because I wasn't supposed to be there in the first place!"
His eyes go wide, his breathing is fast and furious. He turns around and focuses his attention on an outwardly shocked Damon, then scans the other members of our group, all of whom are equally shocked.
Caleb squeezes his eyes shut and winces, as if he wants to take back every truthful word he just spouted. When he opens his eyes, there's no emotion in them anymore. He's masked it.
"Happy now?" he growls.
FIFTEEN
Caleb
f my life wasn't complete shit before, it's definitely shit now. I just gave away the secret I promised to take to the grave. I betrayed my twin sister, and myself, all because I couldn't stand the way Maggie looked at me as she peered down from that damn platform. Her eyes were like glass, and the disappointed furrowing of her eyebrows made me want to scoop her up and take her to a place where nobody would deceive her or hurt her. A place where even I couldn't hurt her.
I fucked up. With Maggie, with Leah, with my parents ... with everything.
At this point I can't even trust myself not to fuck up. What's the use in trying to stay out of jail when, maybe, that's the best place for me? At least in jail I know where I stand and don't have to see disappointment on the faces of the people I care about.
Problem is, I don't want to be locked up again. I felt like a restless, caged animal in juvie, especially because I knew I didn't deserve to be there in the first place. Or maybe I did. Maybe I deserved to be locked up for lying to the judge and everyone else. I was piss drunk the night Maggie got hit with the car, and maybe my judgment was off when I told my sister I would cover for her.
By then it was too late.
All I wanted to do was protect Leah, since I knew she wouldn't be able to handle the stress of being arrested and stuck in a cell. I don't even know what's right and wrong anymore.
How did Maggie know I'd lied to her? A second ago, I thought the only way I could take that betrayed look off her face was to tell her the truth. Another bad move. She already knew the truth.
I want to escape, but I'm stuck here. I might not be in a cage, but it feels like I'm in one.
"No, I'm not happy," Maggie finally says, her voice low and sad.
I glare at her. "Great, 'cause that makes two of us."
"Three of us," Lenny says, still on the ground. "I think I'm gonna have a bruise on my sensitive ass cheek from you tackling me."
Tears are falling down Maggie's cheeks. She blinks a couple of times and swipes them away with her fingertips. "Do you hate me, Caleb?"
I should. I should hate her with all my soul, but I don't.
"You knew all along I didn't run into you, didn't you?" I say.
She nods. "I remembered bits and pieces like it was a puzzle, but it wasn't pieced together until-"
"Did you realize I wasn't the one who hit you before I left Paradise eight months ago?" I ask, needing to know the answer even though I'm dreading hearing it.
"Yes," she says softly.
I remember the times we spent together working at Mrs. Reynolds' house, when we fooled around in the gazebo and I ran my hands over her smooth, milky soft skin. "You knew I didn't hurt you, but you let me go along with thinking that you did. How could you?"
"By the time I realized who was really driving the car, I'd already forgiven you. It didn't matter."
"The hell it didn't matter!"
"Umm, time out. I think this activity is over," Damon says. "The three of us need to talk, like right now."
Now. That's Damon's favorite word.
The three of us leave the rest of the group at the platform with Dex and head for a picnic table by the parking lot.
Damon sighs as he looks at Maggie and me sitting opposite him. "Caleb, let me get this straight. You pled
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