at all. Plenty of people enjoy being single, and it's OK to concentrate on getting your own life together, waiting until the time is right for you to enter into a commitment with another person.
All that said, relationships are awesome experiences and can be a lot of fun. It's natural to want to take it to another level with someone you care about. One of the main purposes of starting an official relationship is to find out if those feelings are lasting and real. Can they survive getting closer to someone, or is it better for both of you to go back to being good friends who shared something meaningful for a while? Do you make a good team for facing life's ups and downs? Can you be there for each other in a deeper sense? In many cases, you'll never know until you try.
----
Being Single
There's a lot of pressure out there to have a relationship. But going out with someone when you're young isn't for everyoneâespecially if you're still trying to figure out who you are as a person. Some people don't feel the need to pursue relationships until they're older (some never do at all), and that's OK. Even if it seems like everyone around you is going out with someone, it's perfectly fine to wait until you're ready or until you find someone you're attracted to in that way. Staying single can be fulfilling in its own way, giving you time to focus on other things, like sports, your studies, or your family. And if you don't want to be single but it seems like it's taking forever to meet someone, have patienceâit will happen.
----
Are You Ready?
Is it time for you to enter relationship territory? Before you decide that having a relationship with someone is right for you, ask yourself these questions.
Do I want to be in a relationship just because I'm lonely?
Do I want to be in a relationship only because everyone else is?
Am I saying yes just because someone is asking and I don't want to hurt her?
Obviously, if your answer is yes to any of these questions, then you need to reconsider. You would be treating the other person unfairly if you were in it just for the relationship and not for him or her. You want to go out with a
person,
not an idea. And going out with someone because you feel pressured to do so is never a good thing.
You don't need a relationship to make you feel good about yourself. You need to take responsibility for your own happiness. Sometimes when you're queer, it can feel like you're all alone in the world. So when you meet someone and hit it off, you may feel that quickly latching on to that person will solve all your problems. Reality check, darling: That's not going to happen. Believe in yourself first, and everything else will follow.
Also, remember that even though they say love conquers all, they also say love is blind. Take a moment to step back from the heart-racing fires of your new dreamy romance and consider your potential mate objectivelyâas relationship material. Is he ready for a relationship? Does she seem stable enough to bring positive things to the relationship? Can you trust him to be open and responsible enough to handle it? You deserve to be with someone who respects you for the wonderful creature you are and brings out the best in you.
If you believe that you're both in a great place to start a relationship adventure together, then go for it! The next step is finding out what kind of relationship works for you.
----
Dating Someone Much Older
Let's face it: Depending on where you live, there may not be many other LGBT teens around. So when that cute twenty-five-year-old from the coffee shop asks you out, you might want to say yes. Or you might be infatuated with someone older: your coach, a church counselor, or a friend of your parents. That's really common, and it may feel flattering that an older person is giving you attention. But this kind of relationship comes with a lot of risks. Sometimes, older people want to date younger people because they believe that they can more
All that said, relationships are awesome experiences and can be a lot of fun. It's natural to want to take it to another level with someone you care about. One of the main purposes of starting an official relationship is to find out if those feelings are lasting and real. Can they survive getting closer to someone, or is it better for both of you to go back to being good friends who shared something meaningful for a while? Do you make a good team for facing life's ups and downs? Can you be there for each other in a deeper sense? In many cases, you'll never know until you try.
----
Being Single
There's a lot of pressure out there to have a relationship. But going out with someone when you're young isn't for everyoneâespecially if you're still trying to figure out who you are as a person. Some people don't feel the need to pursue relationships until they're older (some never do at all), and that's OK. Even if it seems like everyone around you is going out with someone, it's perfectly fine to wait until you're ready or until you find someone you're attracted to in that way. Staying single can be fulfilling in its own way, giving you time to focus on other things, like sports, your studies, or your family. And if you don't want to be single but it seems like it's taking forever to meet someone, have patienceâit will happen.
----
Are You Ready?
Is it time for you to enter relationship territory? Before you decide that having a relationship with someone is right for you, ask yourself these questions.
Do I want to be in a relationship just because I'm lonely?
Do I want to be in a relationship only because everyone else is?
Am I saying yes just because someone is asking and I don't want to hurt her?
Obviously, if your answer is yes to any of these questions, then you need to reconsider. You would be treating the other person unfairly if you were in it just for the relationship and not for him or her. You want to go out with a
person,
not an idea. And going out with someone because you feel pressured to do so is never a good thing.
You don't need a relationship to make you feel good about yourself. You need to take responsibility for your own happiness. Sometimes when you're queer, it can feel like you're all alone in the world. So when you meet someone and hit it off, you may feel that quickly latching on to that person will solve all your problems. Reality check, darling: That's not going to happen. Believe in yourself first, and everything else will follow.
Also, remember that even though they say love conquers all, they also say love is blind. Take a moment to step back from the heart-racing fires of your new dreamy romance and consider your potential mate objectivelyâas relationship material. Is he ready for a relationship? Does she seem stable enough to bring positive things to the relationship? Can you trust him to be open and responsible enough to handle it? You deserve to be with someone who respects you for the wonderful creature you are and brings out the best in you.
If you believe that you're both in a great place to start a relationship adventure together, then go for it! The next step is finding out what kind of relationship works for you.
----
Dating Someone Much Older
Let's face it: Depending on where you live, there may not be many other LGBT teens around. So when that cute twenty-five-year-old from the coffee shop asks you out, you might want to say yes. Or you might be infatuated with someone older: your coach, a church counselor, or a friend of your parents. That's really common, and it may feel flattering that an older person is giving you attention. But this kind of relationship comes with a lot of risks. Sometimes, older people want to date younger people because they believe that they can more
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