better than being trapped in a web of guilt and lies later and shows that you're a confident person who cares about others' feelings. You'll be so proud of the way you handled things that you may just want to date yourself.
Six
GETTING TOGETHER:Queer Relationships
You've met someone! You've hung out for a while, had four or five dates, and are really into each other. This person seems perfect for you. Just as great, she's totally smitten with you as well. You go together like two queer peas in a perfectly decorated pod. Is it time to take the next step? What is the next step? Going steady? Going out? Picking out matching wedding dresses? Getting matching rainbow tats?
The best question to ask yourself is what are
you
looking for? That's a biggie, and it can sometimes take a long time and some emotional experience to discover the answer. There's a reason all those pop divas sell millions of records singing about the search for love. Everyone can relate. It takes time, energy, and yes, probably some heartbreak, too, before you find someone you really connect with. And even then, you'll probably try out all sorts of relationships before you find the one that's right for you and the person you're with. Remember: She may not know exactly what she's looking for either.
The most important thing to keep in mind is don't rush. There's no need to hurry up and plan out your retirement together in Palm Springs. Take your time. Enjoy just being together right now. If starting a relationship feels like too much pressure, then wait until the time is right. You'll know it when you feel it.
If you do feel you're ready to take it to another level with your sweetie, how do you do it? Sometimes two people just fall into a relationship naturally, as a consequence of having so much fun together. Sometimes it's more formal: One person asks another to make it official that they're going out. Either way, you should make sure that you both say it out loud at some point to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings down the line. We've known plenty of people who thought they were going out with someone, only to find out at some point that the other person had no idea!
Relationships come in many flavors and, like snowflakes or pancakes, no two are exactly alike. Yet they all require focus and dedication. Sometimes they can seem scary, but you'll find that with some patience, the right person, and the right amount of communication, you can easily form the kind of bond that's right for both of you. Your relationship will always be what you and your partner make it, and that will be a unique blend of happiness and craziness every time you are with someone new.
What is a Queer Relationship?
Deciding whether or not to start a queer relationshipâor even knowing what a queer relationship isâcan be confusing. Queer relationships exist in just as many different varieties as straight ones, but there may not be any obvious examples of queer relationships around for you to follow. Because queer people were traditionally (and sometimes still are) forced to stay in the closet, they have never beenfront and center in the media or on the street. That's one of the reasons why the fight for same-sex marriage rights is so important to a lot of people. It helps the public to recognize the huge amount of healthy, long-term queer relationships all around us.
One good thing about not having been inundated with representations of queer couples in magazines and on TV is that there are no rules to follow (short of being loving and respectful to each other, of course). You're free to define the kind of relationship that works for you and your partner and to invent something completely unique. You're also free to have the same traditional relationship your parents or your friends' parents might have. The important thing is to do what makes your heart happy.
Why Have a Relationship?
You don't have to plan your future around having a relationshipâor even have one
Six
GETTING TOGETHER:Queer Relationships
You've met someone! You've hung out for a while, had four or five dates, and are really into each other. This person seems perfect for you. Just as great, she's totally smitten with you as well. You go together like two queer peas in a perfectly decorated pod. Is it time to take the next step? What is the next step? Going steady? Going out? Picking out matching wedding dresses? Getting matching rainbow tats?
The best question to ask yourself is what are
you
looking for? That's a biggie, and it can sometimes take a long time and some emotional experience to discover the answer. There's a reason all those pop divas sell millions of records singing about the search for love. Everyone can relate. It takes time, energy, and yes, probably some heartbreak, too, before you find someone you really connect with. And even then, you'll probably try out all sorts of relationships before you find the one that's right for you and the person you're with. Remember: She may not know exactly what she's looking for either.
The most important thing to keep in mind is don't rush. There's no need to hurry up and plan out your retirement together in Palm Springs. Take your time. Enjoy just being together right now. If starting a relationship feels like too much pressure, then wait until the time is right. You'll know it when you feel it.
If you do feel you're ready to take it to another level with your sweetie, how do you do it? Sometimes two people just fall into a relationship naturally, as a consequence of having so much fun together. Sometimes it's more formal: One person asks another to make it official that they're going out. Either way, you should make sure that you both say it out loud at some point to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings down the line. We've known plenty of people who thought they were going out with someone, only to find out at some point that the other person had no idea!
Relationships come in many flavors and, like snowflakes or pancakes, no two are exactly alike. Yet they all require focus and dedication. Sometimes they can seem scary, but you'll find that with some patience, the right person, and the right amount of communication, you can easily form the kind of bond that's right for both of you. Your relationship will always be what you and your partner make it, and that will be a unique blend of happiness and craziness every time you are with someone new.
What is a Queer Relationship?
Deciding whether or not to start a queer relationshipâor even knowing what a queer relationship isâcan be confusing. Queer relationships exist in just as many different varieties as straight ones, but there may not be any obvious examples of queer relationships around for you to follow. Because queer people were traditionally (and sometimes still are) forced to stay in the closet, they have never beenfront and center in the media or on the street. That's one of the reasons why the fight for same-sex marriage rights is so important to a lot of people. It helps the public to recognize the huge amount of healthy, long-term queer relationships all around us.
One good thing about not having been inundated with representations of queer couples in magazines and on TV is that there are no rules to follow (short of being loving and respectful to each other, of course). You're free to define the kind of relationship that works for you and your partner and to invent something completely unique. You're also free to have the same traditional relationship your parents or your friends' parents might have. The important thing is to do what makes your heart happy.
Why Have a Relationship?
You don't have to plan your future around having a relationshipâor even have one
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