Post-Apocalypse Dead Letter Office by Nathan Poell
Authors: Nathan Poell
Tags: Literary Collections, Letters
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the weird shit happened. The booze curdled into this gray sludgy shit. It backed up the still and almost blew up before we got it off the fire. That would’ve been the end of me, at least. But instead, it’s just the end of trying to make white lightning. Seriously, what the fuck is that stuff?
Still missing you, T. If you get this, come back to New York. I’ve got a little credit with these guys and can spring – in bottles of Riesling and Pinot Grigio – for your trip. When you get to town, just ask about Wilson Creek Vineyard and Farm. We make plenty of deliveries into town, and can pick you up there.
-Alvy
P.S. – Say hello to your aunt from me.
To: Tess Lorantz c/o Eileen Gold, Leavenworth, KS
From: Alvy Garraldo, West Babylon, NY
July 13, 20+1
Tess-
Where are you? Where are you? Haven’t heard a fucking thing, not a word out of you for over a year now. Things are shit here. Just shit. Are you seeing the date I’m writing this on? You swore to me, PROMISED ME IN FRONT OF GOD AND EVERYBODY you’d always be here for me. And WHERE ARE YOU NOW?!
You fucking liar.
-A.
[Keeping these together, just in case we get more. -Rand M.]
To: Geraldine Engle or RESIDENT,
From: Arlen “Itzamna’s Scribe” Morris, Manitou Springs, CO
May 14, 20+6
Dear Resident-
Through my own industry, the boons of the gods and the magic of ditto machinery, I am able to offer to you and 375 other inquisitive individuals of discriminating taste the first printing of the first edition of MORE NEW MAYAN MYSTERIES REVEALED!
Possibly you are familiar with my previous works, Mayan Mysteries Revealed! and New Mayan Mysteries Revealed! With its publication in 1995 and having accurately predicted Guatemala’s Fuego eruption of 2002 as a harbinger – specifically, the predictive text reads “... and soon the gods will return and bring fire to their constituents and herald the coming of the end” – Mayan Mysteries Revealed! has proven to be of seminal importance to the field of Cosmomayatology. If so, you almost certainly are aware that since publishing that volume’s successor, New Mayan Mysteries Revealed!, so many events predicted within its pages – too many to relate here! –have come to pass that have proven beyond the shadow of a doubt that New Mayan Mysteries Revealed! was a stunningly prophetic revelation. However, since these events did not coincide with the December 2012 dates discovered and put forth in print by yours truly (and other pale imitators and plagiarists) a complete reassessment of the cosmological timeline was necessitated. This was not my own idea, for having miserably seen what I had prophesied come to pass I was contented to let my own minor errors pass into oblivion as a slight shadow next to the blazing golden truth that is New Mayan Mysteries Revealed! Rather, two years ago I was visited upon for four straight nights by the Becabs. Through their visits, speaking only in the complex spiritual geometry they themselves created, the Becabs fully revealed to me their larger plan. It has taken me over a year and a half to parse out, analyze and fully comprehend this plan, THIS GREAT WORK, and another half year to write it out and annotate it.
Other mysteries abound, entangled with, coinciding with and completely apart from the question of the Becabs’ visitations and revelations. Are there reptoids astride on our planet, and if so are they descendants of Quetzalcoatl (i.e., VENUSIANS) or mere cosmic interlocutors from a separate? Do the Lords of Xibalba have plans to interfere with the great work set forth by the Becabs? What did the government know about my prophecies and when did it know it and is the government even in existence now and can they see you? (Hint: YES, they can!) Surely you are interested in such mysteries. Surely you want to know the answer to these questions. They and many others are answered in MORE NEW MAYAN MYSTERIES REVEALED!!!
More Predictions! More REVELATIONS!
Still missing you, T. If you get this, come back to New York. I’ve got a little credit with these guys and can spring – in bottles of Riesling and Pinot Grigio – for your trip. When you get to town, just ask about Wilson Creek Vineyard and Farm. We make plenty of deliveries into town, and can pick you up there.
-Alvy
P.S. – Say hello to your aunt from me.
To: Tess Lorantz c/o Eileen Gold, Leavenworth, KS
From: Alvy Garraldo, West Babylon, NY
July 13, 20+1
Tess-
Where are you? Where are you? Haven’t heard a fucking thing, not a word out of you for over a year now. Things are shit here. Just shit. Are you seeing the date I’m writing this on? You swore to me, PROMISED ME IN FRONT OF GOD AND EVERYBODY you’d always be here for me. And WHERE ARE YOU NOW?!
You fucking liar.
-A.
[Keeping these together, just in case we get more. -Rand M.]
To: Geraldine Engle or RESIDENT,
From: Arlen “Itzamna’s Scribe” Morris, Manitou Springs, CO
May 14, 20+6
Dear Resident-
Through my own industry, the boons of the gods and the magic of ditto machinery, I am able to offer to you and 375 other inquisitive individuals of discriminating taste the first printing of the first edition of MORE NEW MAYAN MYSTERIES REVEALED!
Possibly you are familiar with my previous works, Mayan Mysteries Revealed! and New Mayan Mysteries Revealed! With its publication in 1995 and having accurately predicted Guatemala’s Fuego eruption of 2002 as a harbinger – specifically, the predictive text reads “... and soon the gods will return and bring fire to their constituents and herald the coming of the end” – Mayan Mysteries Revealed! has proven to be of seminal importance to the field of Cosmomayatology. If so, you almost certainly are aware that since publishing that volume’s successor, New Mayan Mysteries Revealed!, so many events predicted within its pages – too many to relate here! –have come to pass that have proven beyond the shadow of a doubt that New Mayan Mysteries Revealed! was a stunningly prophetic revelation. However, since these events did not coincide with the December 2012 dates discovered and put forth in print by yours truly (and other pale imitators and plagiarists) a complete reassessment of the cosmological timeline was necessitated. This was not my own idea, for having miserably seen what I had prophesied come to pass I was contented to let my own minor errors pass into oblivion as a slight shadow next to the blazing golden truth that is New Mayan Mysteries Revealed! Rather, two years ago I was visited upon for four straight nights by the Becabs. Through their visits, speaking only in the complex spiritual geometry they themselves created, the Becabs fully revealed to me their larger plan. It has taken me over a year and a half to parse out, analyze and fully comprehend this plan, THIS GREAT WORK, and another half year to write it out and annotate it.
Other mysteries abound, entangled with, coinciding with and completely apart from the question of the Becabs’ visitations and revelations. Are there reptoids astride on our planet, and if so are they descendants of Quetzalcoatl (i.e., VENUSIANS) or mere cosmic interlocutors from a separate? Do the Lords of Xibalba have plans to interfere with the great work set forth by the Becabs? What did the government know about my prophecies and when did it know it and is the government even in existence now and can they see you? (Hint: YES, they can!) Surely you are interested in such mysteries. Surely you want to know the answer to these questions. They and many others are answered in MORE NEW MAYAN MYSTERIES REVEALED!!!
More Predictions! More REVELATIONS!
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