Post-Apocalypse Dead Letter Office by Nathan Poell Page A
Authors: Nathan Poell
Tags: Literary Collections, Letters
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I am not publishing this volume to make a profit, only to further the cause of revealing the truth, so please DO NOT SEND CASH, only NON-PERISHABLE COMESTIBLES to Mayan Revelations, Manitou, CO. Namaste!
-Arlen “Itzamna’s Scribe” Morris
To: Arnold “Smitty” Schmidt, Lawrence, KS
From: Your eastern friends, St. Louis, MO
February 10th, 20+6
Smitty-
Hey, buddy. Been a while since we heard from you. Been laying low lately? Can’t say I blame you. Things blew up pretty good around there, huh?
Word got to us about Biggs’s fuckup. His own range, his own backyard and he can’t run good product past the local yokels without his operation getting found out, and by a bunch of Nebraskans of all people. I’d say it’s a shame, really, but I don’t think that. What little I heard about old Biggs through the grapevine matched up pretty well with the real life version. Only met him once in St. Louis, just before he took over in Lawrence. Seemed like such a clever guy. Obviously totally lazy, and a dick to boot, but clever nonetheless. Not surprising, that shit catches up with you. Heard it was Petey that sold him out. Ha! Always thought Petey was Biggs’s little bitch. Definitely wasn’t good for business anywhere, but good on him for getting out and taking down Biggs with him.
The muckity mucks in Cleveland are peeved about this development, of course, but don’t really want to start any shit down your way. They’ve had enough trouble lately fending off the long arm of the law. Some folks up in Cleveland and Columbus are starting to really and truly reconstitute the local governments, and they’ve got some serious muscle at their disposal. One of the extended operational bosses in Chicago actually got strung up last spring! So, the head honchos can’t afford to move any people into your range any time soon, if ever. They’ve actually been talking about reworking their game plan, shifting the “mission” of the entire organization. Swear to god I was there when one of them dumb bastards used the word “mission statement”. Who in the hell talks like that anymore? Of course, they think I’m just some jerkoff leg, but I bet half a Folgers can of dope (good stuff, not that ditch weed you grow out west) I went to a better business school than he did, and I can recognize MBA-speak when I fucking hear it. No idea how a twit like that made it so fucking far up the totem pole. Chances are he’s in someone’s extended family.
Speaking of families, there’s also been way way too much inter-syndicate violence the past couple of years. Our syndicate and the ranges therein are all run by Poles. Don’t know whether you were aware of the fact. Guess it doesn’t matter so much. But they’ve had several run-ins with the Chicago mob, the Italians. Our syndicate takes out a couple of their boys a year, at the very least, and vice versa. (Ours – yeah right. I’ll never be more than a hired hand. A couple of the real assholes have started calling me Tonto – one of the main fucking reasons I’m writing you.) It racks up, man. Add to those bodies the mistaken hits that get made – the information network ain’t what it used to be, obviously – and the poor dopes who have to get put out to pasture because they saw a beatdown or a deal or just about anything they weren’t supposed to see, and we’re talking serious body counts.
Don’t it make you wonder, sometimes – is there still a Poland or an Italy? Should we make a trip across the pond and start some shit with the locals there, just like old times but in reverse? We’d probably best start with the Portuguese. Heh.
Really, this whole government resurgence thing is our own fucking fault. Well, the bosses’ – yeah, you’d better believe I’m passing that buck up. (Ain’t one of them who’d think twice about blaming me for some fuckup.) With so many of the abovementioned sloppiness, all the outright violence and
I am not publishing this volume to make a profit, only to further the cause of revealing the truth, so please DO NOT SEND CASH, only NON-PERISHABLE COMESTIBLES to Mayan Revelations, Manitou, CO. Namaste!
-Arlen “Itzamna’s Scribe” Morris
To: Arnold “Smitty” Schmidt, Lawrence, KS
From: Your eastern friends, St. Louis, MO
February 10th, 20+6
Smitty-
Hey, buddy. Been a while since we heard from you. Been laying low lately? Can’t say I blame you. Things blew up pretty good around there, huh?
Word got to us about Biggs’s fuckup. His own range, his own backyard and he can’t run good product past the local yokels without his operation getting found out, and by a bunch of Nebraskans of all people. I’d say it’s a shame, really, but I don’t think that. What little I heard about old Biggs through the grapevine matched up pretty well with the real life version. Only met him once in St. Louis, just before he took over in Lawrence. Seemed like such a clever guy. Obviously totally lazy, and a dick to boot, but clever nonetheless. Not surprising, that shit catches up with you. Heard it was Petey that sold him out. Ha! Always thought Petey was Biggs’s little bitch. Definitely wasn’t good for business anywhere, but good on him for getting out and taking down Biggs with him.
The muckity mucks in Cleveland are peeved about this development, of course, but don’t really want to start any shit down your way. They’ve had enough trouble lately fending off the long arm of the law. Some folks up in Cleveland and Columbus are starting to really and truly reconstitute the local governments, and they’ve got some serious muscle at their disposal. One of the extended operational bosses in Chicago actually got strung up last spring! So, the head honchos can’t afford to move any people into your range any time soon, if ever. They’ve actually been talking about reworking their game plan, shifting the “mission” of the entire organization. Swear to god I was there when one of them dumb bastards used the word “mission statement”. Who in the hell talks like that anymore? Of course, they think I’m just some jerkoff leg, but I bet half a Folgers can of dope (good stuff, not that ditch weed you grow out west) I went to a better business school than he did, and I can recognize MBA-speak when I fucking hear it. No idea how a twit like that made it so fucking far up the totem pole. Chances are he’s in someone’s extended family.
Speaking of families, there’s also been way way too much inter-syndicate violence the past couple of years. Our syndicate and the ranges therein are all run by Poles. Don’t know whether you were aware of the fact. Guess it doesn’t matter so much. But they’ve had several run-ins with the Chicago mob, the Italians. Our syndicate takes out a couple of their boys a year, at the very least, and vice versa. (Ours – yeah right. I’ll never be more than a hired hand. A couple of the real assholes have started calling me Tonto – one of the main fucking reasons I’m writing you.) It racks up, man. Add to those bodies the mistaken hits that get made – the information network ain’t what it used to be, obviously – and the poor dopes who have to get put out to pasture because they saw a beatdown or a deal or just about anything they weren’t supposed to see, and we’re talking serious body counts.
Don’t it make you wonder, sometimes – is there still a Poland or an Italy? Should we make a trip across the pond and start some shit with the locals there, just like old times but in reverse? We’d probably best start with the Portuguese. Heh.
Really, this whole government resurgence thing is our own fucking fault. Well, the bosses’ – yeah, you’d better believe I’m passing that buck up. (Ain’t one of them who’d think twice about blaming me for some fuckup.) With so many of the abovementioned sloppiness, all the outright violence and
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