nice of him to take her side for a change, and they nearly got into another row. (I’m beginning to think that rowing’s what they do instead of having sex.) Justin said the MC was really unlucky to get the only conscious security guard in London. Nan said she should sue for defamation of character (which, let’s face it, would be REALLY hard to prove). The MC says she can never go back there again, in case somebody recognizes her. I told her not to worry about that since nobody remembers what women her age look like. And then she got angry with ME!!! She says she hopes she’s still alive when I’m her age so at least she can die laughing.
D reckons I can cover up the white stitching on the combats with a laundry marker. If you ask me, she should consider a career in fashion. She has a real talent.
VALENTINE’S DAY
To celebrate this day of Love the boys who sit at the back in Mrs Gumpta’s maths class let loose a bunch of inflated rainbow-coloured condoms while Mrs G was writing on the board. She thought they were balloons. It was excruciatingly hilarious. Disha said you could bet that if we’d had Mr Plaget he would’ve known what they were!
I GOT MY FIRST VALENTINE! It was waiting for me when I got home this afternoon. It’s one of those really naff ones with a red satin heart trimmed with lace. I love it! I put it on my bureau so the Mad Cow will see it when she patrols my room and know that someone loves me. That should wind her up. Here she is, finishing her life as a woman, and I’m just about to begin mine. Dare I hope that my secret valentine is Elvin? Was that moment when he smiled at me in Disha’s kitchen the moment when he thought, I think I’m Falling in Love with Jan?
THURSDAY 15 FEBRUARY
So what’s the FIRST thing I see when I get to school this morning? Nothing less than Catriona Hendley and Flynn Cabot chatting nonchalantly just inside the gate!!! Were they discussing their valentine cards, one wonders? I gave them both a BIG greeting and Flynn got a distinctly pink tinge to his complexion, as though I’d come across them snogging or something. Naturally I acted like I didn’t notice. Flynn did eat lunch with us, but I’m sure it was just to divert suspicion. He was definitely preoccupied, and even though Marcus had the rest of us in stitches, Flynn hardly cracked a smile.
Since neither of them got a valentine, Willow came round with a bottle of sparkling Chardonnay for her and the MC after supper. It didn’t help the MC’s mood any, though. She was all sarky because I was babysitting the twins (as per usual!) and wanted to know if Mrs Kennedy (or That Woman as she’s taken to calling her) ever stayed home. I said what happened to female solidarity and being supportive of single mothers? I rolled my eyes at Willow and she acted like she didn’t see, but when I was leaving she pretended she wanted to check that Jupiter hadn’t levelled the living-room or murdered Nan or anything and she followed me to the door. She said I had to try to be a little understanding of my poor mother because this was a v difficult time for her. So even Willow’s noticed that the MC’s going through the CHANGE (from human to witch, obviously!).
The MC must’ve gone round to Willow’s for more wine, because she wasn’t in the flat when I got home from Mrs Kennedy’s. Nan was asleep at the kitchen table. She’s not getting older; she’s turning into a cat. No matter where you put her, she nods off. Even in the middle of supper (though not before she’s said grace)! Disha says it’s better than her grandmother. Her grandmother doesn’t remember anything unless it happened seventy years ago. She calls Disha Paula and is always asking her if she liked the chocolates.
FRIDAY 16 FEBRUARY
Caught Flynn and the Hendley with their heads together in the library today!!! Made a point of going over to say hello. Did Flynn look EMBARRASSED or what? He gave me some crap about history homework. Yeah, right.
Maggie Brendan
Barbara O'Connor
Jan Washburn
Terri Blackstock
Norah Simone
Barry Kemp
G.P. Taylor
Alan Cumyn
Linda Barnes
Lisa Jackson