One Foot in the Grave: An Almost Zombie Tale by Shanti Krishnamurty Page A

can’t believe I’m attempting to placate a dog, but it seems to be the wisest course of action. “I just – this is all so new to me.” I eye the hell hounds still standing at silent attention behind the lich. Regardless of what Nacelles might think, none of them look particularly friendly.
    “Maxx, would you please take your pack and return home? It appears I won’t need your services, after all.”
    The massive animal bows his huge head and barks once. The hounds behind him begin to flicker out of existence until the room is empty.
    I breathe a sigh of relief. The hell hounds freak me out. “What kind of services do they perform?”
    The lich stares at me for a long moment before answering. “Maxx is in charge of pest extermination, among other things.”
    I don’t even know what to say to that, so I keep my mouth shut.
    “Ink, I would greatly appreciate it if you would go up and bring Blair downstairs. We will need her assistance.”
    The vampire nods her assent and leaves.
    “Who’s Blair?” I’m determined not to show my nervousness, but my voice shakes and declares me a liar.
    “She’s a ghost. She’s going to help me stop your decomposition.”
    I frown. “Really? They can do that?”
    He nods, but I can tell he’s not really paying attention to anything I’m saying.
    “So what exactly is going to happen next?”
    “Once Ink gets back, I will cast a spell that will transfer some of Blair’s energy to you. The supernatural blending of your forces will allow your body to stop your decomposition.”
    I’m sorry I asked. I sigh and rest my head on the table in front of me. My undeath just keeps getting more and more complicated.
    “Are you all right, Isis?”
    I open my eyes. The first thing I see is the ghost Nacelles had mentioned hovering in the table.
    “Uhhh…yeah,” I reply.
    “Blair, I could use your help over here, please.”
    The ghost nods and drifts away.
    “Isis, have a seat over there.”
    I look where the lich is pointing but don’t see anything to sit on. “Ummm…” I trail off.
    “Oh, I do apologize.” The lich waves one hand and a comfortable looking couch appears.
    “Neat trick,” I say before realizing how trite that sounds. The creature in front of me pretty much sold his soul for magic and here I am, making light of it. “I mean, that’s kind of cool.” Yeah, that sounds so much better. Sheesh.
    “This won’t hurt,” Nacelles promises. “As long as you stay still, everything will be fine.”
    Crap.

Eighteen:
    One of These Spells is Not Like the Other.
    The couch is super comfy and I slouch down, my back against the deep purple cushions. Ink sits cross legged next to me while Blair hovers in the background.
    Nacelles rubs his hands together. “All right, then, let’s get started. Blair, I need you to put your hands on Isis’ shoulders. I’ll be using your energy to fuel the spell.”
    “What if Blair dematerializes and can’t come back?”
    “Hmmm?” The lich is pulling books out of thin air and flipping through the pages before allowing them to float to the ground at his feet. I’m pretty sure he’s not listening to me at all.
    “Nacelles?” I raise my voice.
    “Huh? Oh.” The lich focuses his non-eyes on me and I kind of wish I hadn’t said anything. “Blair will be fine,” he replies. “I won’t take much from her.”
    “And you’re okay with that?” I turn my head and ask Blair, but the ghost just shrugs her reply. It does make me wonder if she can speak at all. It’s obvious she’s sentient, since she obeyed Ink’s command to come here.
    “She’s done it before,” the lich snaps.
    “You’ve stopped decomposition before?” I ask. “What? How? Why?”
    “You forgot to ask who’s on first,” Nacelles says.
    Even under the circumstances, I laugh. Who knew the undead could be so alive? Blair rests her hands on my shoulders. Pins and needles race down my arms and into my fingertips. I flinch. Ink reaches over, taking my