smiled lightly and strolled over to him, untying her robe along the way, figuring she could sway him.
“ Here baby, let me help you relax.” She gently positioned herself on the bed behind him on her knees and began to rub his shoulders with expertise. Slim closed his eyes briefly and allowed himself to get lost in the moment for a second, as Jordin’s hands pleased him.
“ You know, I don’t know if I told you but I’m real proud of you, Slim. You really doing what you gotta do to leave the streets alone, and you really handling your business like a real man, baby,” she told him, encouraging him. Slim had promised Jordin when he was released from prison that the streets were over for him. Jordin figured if Julez could do it for Noelle, then Slim could make the same sacrifice.
Slim blew out a deep breath of air and maneuvered out of her grasp, becoming frustrated. Living in another man’s home was the furthest thing to him from handling his business. He stood up and began to undress.
“ I’m going to take a shower,” he informed her evenly.
“ You want some company?” Jordin asked studying her sexy man, even though something in her already knew she was undesired. He hadn’t even complimented her, or the setup.
“ Nah,” was his cold response.
Jordin swallowed hard and then retied her robe. She nodded her head and pressed her lips together deep in thought. And as he began to head to the bathroom, Jordin spoke.
“ What happened to us?” She sounded wounded as honesty poured from her lips.
He paused briefly at the door but didn’t turn around.
“ What you talking about, J?” He asked her this, but really he knew, and it broke his heart.
Jordin stood up and spoke slowly, figuring she had nothing to lose.
“ I’m talking about…how you barely make love to me anymore Slim. And how when you do… it’s like you’re not even here. And it’s like you don’t even want to.”
Slim kept his back turned and closed his eyes in guilt. He could hear the pain in her voice.
Jordin had tears in her eyes, wondering where they had gone wrong. Their intimacy level was at an all time low. And even though she told Noelle stories of their fiery love life, they were all lies. They hardly had sex, and the odd times that they did, it was all emotionless fucking. Slim didn’t even want to look at her while it went down. He usually fucked her from behind and there was never any kissing, no foreplay, no pleasure. Jordin was hurting.
“ You buggin’ J, for real.”
Jordin chuckled.
“ Oh yea? Then why don’t you look at me?”
There was a silence and he still hadn’t moved.
“ You hear me, Slim?” Her voice cracked. “Turn around and look at me.”
He sighed hard and turned around gradually, looking her in the eyes.
“ J, you buggin’,” he repeated in desperation. “I love you.”
Jordin nodded and looked down solemnly.
“ I know you do Slim…. but do you want me? Because they are two different things.” Slim was not ready for this conversation. He figured the best thing to do was deny, deny, deny. Make her feel like she was crazy until she actually started to believe that she was. When he didn’t answer, she asked the inevitable.
“ Is it the…the weight gain?”
Jordin had gained weight while Slim was locked down, and although she wasn’t able to lose it all, she had toned it up and now wore her thickness well. But she knew she was no size six like she used to be and although she didn’t look too different to herself, she wondered if she was different to him. Slim shook his head.
“ Noe…I mean…No.” He realized he was about to say the wrong name and saved himself. “No…it’s not that. But Jordin , like I said before, if you don’t feel confident or happy wit’ yaself, then maybe you should hit the gym a little more. Or, I don’t know, diet a little bit, ma. But stop
C. J. Cherryh
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