The Things People Bury
October 12,
“You still have the lead box, don’t you?” asks Evoker Geoffrey.
“That really isn’t the point,” I reply. “I can’t keep him.”
“As a Rank Two Demonologist, you don’t require any special permission to house a fiend.”
“That isn’t what I meant. I won’t keep him. This isn’t my job.”
“I’m sorry. The situation at the hall is…complicated. With the thought beasts multiplying, we have to contain the current problem before we can inter any other entities, particularly something as powerful as a fiend.”
“You know, I have this vague memory of someone saying ‘we once housed a balor here. We can handle a thought beast.’”
“Sarcasm does not become you, Nancy.”
“Where is the Archmage?”
“He’s in the containment area. He wanted to get a firsthand survey of the situation. You know, if you and your apprentice—”
I hang up before he finishes the sentence.
In July, Houston and I stumbled across a thought beast while performing a routine faux exorcism. This particular thought beast took the form of a creature from the old horror movie Gremlins . We managed to capture it and took it to the Philadelphia Evocation Center for containment and destruction. Well, they should have destroyed it. But then the thought beast morphed into the cute, cuddly version of the Gremlin and they named it Gizmo and decided to keep it for observation.
Now apparently the apprentices responsible for feeding the creature and recording the observations are all too young to remember the movie (or its sequel). Because one of those geniuses decided to give the thought beast a bath! And then when they went to go alert Evoker Geoffrey of the issue, forgot to remove the food dish from the containment area. By the time someone realized what was going on, it was after midnight.
“Shouldn’t we go help them?” asks Houston.
“No,” I reply. “I warned them. I specifically told them to destroy it. I’m not bailing them out of this. And for the record, you remember this the next time we come across something you think would make a nice pet!”
“Why are you yelling at me?”
“Because when we caught it you whined the entire time about taking it to the guild!”
“I wasn’t whining. I just…nevermind. What if they get out? I mean outside the guild out?”
“Even if they get out of the building, they won’t be able to get off the property. Between the wards and Gatekeeper, they aren’t going anywhere.” I shake my head. “I can’t believe they were allowing apprentices to handle a thought beast like it was a puppy! You know who is to blame for this?”
“Er…the Archmage?”
“No. Urban Fantasy.”
“Urban Fantasy? Any book in particular?”
“The whole genre. It is full of protagonists that are more concerned with fashion sense than survival and encourages the infantizing of demonic entities to the point that witches don’t respect the powers they are dealing with.”
“That sounds like an article topic for Demonology Today . You should run with.” Houston picks up the pocket watch out of the lead-lined box and slowly spins it on its chain. “Well, Amy, looks like you’re moving in for a while after all.”
“ I will strive to make my stay useful,” replies the demon.
“Yeah, well, the question is, useful to whom?” I say as I collapse on the sofa. I knew… I just knew …I should have taken the possessed pocket watch to the Guild hall the day we found it. Amy is a Rank Four Fiend that took possession of the pocket watch in an attempt to eventually take control of an inexperienced warlock. But the warlock got cold feet and locked the pocket watch behind a wall and magical barrier and it wasn’t until his granddaughter inherited the house that anyone even realized something was wrong.
I should have taken it to the guild hall that day, but we were all tired after spending most of the afternoon investigating the matter and
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