my head again, knowing I was saying way too much. Ryan reached out and put his hand on my back to comfort me. The feel of his warm hand on my back sent an electrical current shooting through my body from the point of contact. I was so overwhelmed with emotion and regret that a few tears spilled out onto my cheek. I shook my head to try to clear them away.
"Wynn," he said. He breathed my name as he pulled me into his arms. His arms came around me, and I rested my head on his chest, which was substantially broader than I remembered.
"We can pick up where we left off," he said. "I'm here now, and so are you. I'll be teaching at Tulane, so I'm sure we can use some of the practice space in the music department. If not, we can figure something out at my house."
He pulled back to stare at me as if his words should have made me feel better. Could he possibly think I was referring to playing in a band this whole time? I shook my head.
"I don't care about getting the band together," I said. "Music's not even really on my radar right now. I was talking about other stuff—saying I should have chosen you that night."
I stopped talking and stepped away from him, shaking my head in frustration and embarrassment. He had a perfectly good female with a bright future waiting for him inside. Who was I to think that I could just roll back into town and say the word to make Ryan come running?
I smiled and started walking back toward the restaurant because I knew we couldn’t get by with being out there too much longer.
"What?" he asked, catching me by the arm before I could walk away.
I shrugged out of his grasp, but not because I wanted to—mainly because I was afraid the electricity we shared was actually visible and might cause a spark or at least some sort of glow.
"What did you say?" he asked.
"I said I was wrong for choosing Marcus. It was a bad choice." I paused and smiled sadly. "The first of a long string of them," I added. "Two years worth."
Ryan stared at me with a serious expression. I knew I had hurt him. He would be right to harbor a grudge—or at least to be cautious in moving forward. I felt the need to let him off the hook, so I pretended it wasn't such a big deal even though my heart was in a thousand pieces and I had the remnants of fresh wet tears on my cheeks. I smiled as I turned to walk back to the restaurant. "I just wanted you to know that." I said, still acting casual and waving for him to follow me back inside.
He reached out and grabbed my arm, preventing me from going anywhere. I squirmed a little, but he kept a gentle grip on me, knowing I wanted him to.
Our eyes met.
"You're wrong if you think I'm gonna be a gentleman about this," he said.
I blinked at him, at a total loss for words. I had a warm syrupy feeling in my gut like I could just melt away onto the sidewalk.
"I kind of think you want to kiss me right now, and I've wanted you too long to blow a chance at that, Wynn." He took his hand off of my arm just long enough to put it around my waist. He pulled me so close that our bodies were touching. I felt crazy with desire—woozy with it. He was everything I ever wanted, and he was right there in front of me the whole time.
"We're right out in the open," I said without taking my eyes off of his. I found it difficult to breathe.
"I know," he said. "But I'm not prepared to move right now. I'm pretty sure this is my big moment."
I smiled up at him, but then my smile faded as I followed the lines of his lips, and I thought about what they'd feel like against mine.
"You're wrong if you think I'm gonna stop you from kissing me." I said.
He stared at my face, letting his eyes roam all over it from my eyes down to my mouth. His stormy grey-blue eyes fixed on my mouth in such a way that I knew for sure what he wanted to do. "You really have no idea how long I've wanted this," he said in a calm measured tone as he stared at me.
"I think not doing it is my most regrettable regret."
"I hate regrets,"
"Wynn," he said. He breathed my name as he pulled me into his arms. His arms came around me, and I rested my head on his chest, which was substantially broader than I remembered.
"We can pick up where we left off," he said. "I'm here now, and so are you. I'll be teaching at Tulane, so I'm sure we can use some of the practice space in the music department. If not, we can figure something out at my house."
He pulled back to stare at me as if his words should have made me feel better. Could he possibly think I was referring to playing in a band this whole time? I shook my head.
"I don't care about getting the band together," I said. "Music's not even really on my radar right now. I was talking about other stuff—saying I should have chosen you that night."
I stopped talking and stepped away from him, shaking my head in frustration and embarrassment. He had a perfectly good female with a bright future waiting for him inside. Who was I to think that I could just roll back into town and say the word to make Ryan come running?
I smiled and started walking back toward the restaurant because I knew we couldn’t get by with being out there too much longer.
"What?" he asked, catching me by the arm before I could walk away.
I shrugged out of his grasp, but not because I wanted to—mainly because I was afraid the electricity we shared was actually visible and might cause a spark or at least some sort of glow.
"What did you say?" he asked.
"I said I was wrong for choosing Marcus. It was a bad choice." I paused and smiled sadly. "The first of a long string of them," I added. "Two years worth."
Ryan stared at me with a serious expression. I knew I had hurt him. He would be right to harbor a grudge—or at least to be cautious in moving forward. I felt the need to let him off the hook, so I pretended it wasn't such a big deal even though my heart was in a thousand pieces and I had the remnants of fresh wet tears on my cheeks. I smiled as I turned to walk back to the restaurant. "I just wanted you to know that." I said, still acting casual and waving for him to follow me back inside.
He reached out and grabbed my arm, preventing me from going anywhere. I squirmed a little, but he kept a gentle grip on me, knowing I wanted him to.
Our eyes met.
"You're wrong if you think I'm gonna be a gentleman about this," he said.
I blinked at him, at a total loss for words. I had a warm syrupy feeling in my gut like I could just melt away onto the sidewalk.
"I kind of think you want to kiss me right now, and I've wanted you too long to blow a chance at that, Wynn." He took his hand off of my arm just long enough to put it around my waist. He pulled me so close that our bodies were touching. I felt crazy with desire—woozy with it. He was everything I ever wanted, and he was right there in front of me the whole time.
"We're right out in the open," I said without taking my eyes off of his. I found it difficult to breathe.
"I know," he said. "But I'm not prepared to move right now. I'm pretty sure this is my big moment."
I smiled up at him, but then my smile faded as I followed the lines of his lips, and I thought about what they'd feel like against mine.
"You're wrong if you think I'm gonna stop you from kissing me." I said.
He stared at my face, letting his eyes roam all over it from my eyes down to my mouth. His stormy grey-blue eyes fixed on my mouth in such a way that I knew for sure what he wanted to do. "You really have no idea how long I've wanted this," he said in a calm measured tone as he stared at me.
"I think not doing it is my most regrettable regret."
"I hate regrets,"
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