waste your time on the cheap one.”
And so to make a long story short, I made the phone call, my dad wrote the check, and Josh drove me over to the ritziest neighborhood in town to pick it up. And it’s so beautiful. It’s a Gibson in glacier blue and in mint condition. The guy who sold it to me said that his parents had gotten it for him during a guilt trip and that he’d never even taken lessons. Now he wanted a snowboard instead. I took it up to the poolroom and plugged it right in and tried it out. It took a while to figure out, but after I got everything balanced just right, I invited Josh and my parents up and played them a couple of songs.
“Wow,” said Josh. “You’re really good.”
My dad nodded. “I didn’t realize we had a budding musician in the family.”
Even ray mom seemed to like it, although I could tell she thought it was too loud, but then she’d had a headache today.
All in all, it was a great day. Even the stuff with Allie can’t get me down because I really think it’s just a matter of time until she comes around. I even managed to get through on the phone to her tonight to tell her about my new guitar. I think it cheered her up to think we’d still jam together and hopefully sound even better than before.
i wish i knew a language
to express more adequately
my newfound appreciation
for what You’ve done for me
if i were a river,
i’d pour myself out
if i were a star,
i’d burst in the sky
if i were an ocean,
my waves would shout
if i were a volcano,
my lava would fly
but i am just me and all that i am
every breath every heartbeat I give
every thought every dream everything in
between
is Yours for as long as i live
i love You, God.
cm
Nine
Sunday, October 13
I went to youth group as well as church with Josh today. And while it was a little overwhelming, it was kind of fun when my brother introduced me to his friends in the youth group. Because for the first time in a long time, it felt as if he was actually sort of proud of me. That felt good.
It was different being in a church setting again, but I have to admit this church isn’t like the one my parents used to drag us to when we were kids. It felt more relaxed and comfortable. And there’s an assortment of people—from all walks of life. Plus I really like Pastor Tony and the youth pastor, Greg. Oh, I probably didn’t agree with everything I heard today, but does anyone? I imagine I’ll still question things, but, hey, I think God can handle that.
It was cool seeing Caitlin there too, with her friends Beanie and Jenny. And it was weird how they all seem so much older than before. I guess college does that to you. But it felt to me that something was slightly off between Caitlin and Josh. She appeared to be acting a little chillytoward him. I hope they’re not breaking up or anything. I know they’d never admit to anyone that they’re “involved,” and I suppose they’re officially not since Caitlin believes it’s wrong to date (at least for her; she tries not to force her philosophy on others). But I happen to know they love each other. It’s written all over their faces whenever they’re together. But today it seemed as if something was wrong. Still, I’m not worried. I know that God is big enough to straighten them both out if necessary (listen to me—the brand-new Christian acting as though she knows it all!).
The pastor (Tony) is Caitlin’s uncle—actually he married Caitlin’s aunt. And Caitlin introduced me to her aunt today. Her name is Steph, and she has a preschooler named Oliver and brand-new baby named after Pastor Tony’s deceased brother, Clay Berringer (the same guy whose grave helped me to find Jesus). Steph said that she’s been looking for some reliable baby-sitters, and I said I’d be glad to come whenever I can. Then she asked if I wanted to hold her baby.
“Sure.” I reached over and took him from her, careful to support his head the way my neighbor showed me with Mason when he was
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