Ms. Leakey Is Freaky! by Dan Gutman Page B

your house. It’s a waste of electricity.”
    That’s when the most amazing thing in the history of the world happened. Ms. Leakey, the health teacher, came running into the room. That lady must run everywhere .
    â€œTo what do we owe the pleasure of your company?” asked Mr. Granite.
    That’s grown-up talk for “What are you doing here?”
    â€œIt’s time for health class!” Ms. Leakey said, all excited. “Everybody up on your feet!”
    â€œUh, we’re in the middle of a math lesson right now,” said Mr. Granite.
    â€œGreat!” said Ms. Leakey. “The kids can count while they do jumping jacks! Let’s go! One! Two! Three! Four!”
    Mr. Granite didn’t look very happy that his math lesson had been interrupted. He picked up a newspaper and started reading it. We all got up and started doingjumping jacks with Ms. Leakey. I don’t really like to do jumping jacks, but it was better than doing math.
    â€œFive! Six! Seven! Eight!” shouted Ms. Leakey. “Let’s get that blood flowing!”
    â€œEw, disgusting!” I said as I jumped up and down. “I don’t want my blood flowing.”

    â€œIf your blood didn’t flow, you would die , Arlo,” said Andrea, who calls me bymy real name because she knows I don’t like it.
    â€œYour face should die,” I told Andrea.
    Ms. Leakey made us touch our toes, reach for the sky, bend over backward, and do all kinds of other weird stuff. Then she told us to sit down so she could talk about nutrition.
    â€œYour body is like a machine,” Ms. Leakey told us. “The heart is like the engine of your body, and the food you eat is like the battery. Candy, chips, cookies, and junk food make weak batteries. If you want strong batteries, you need to eat fruits and vegetables—things that grow out of the ground.”
    â€œEw, I’m not gonna eat something that grew in dirt !” I said. “That’s disgusting.”
    â€œSugar grows in dirt,” Ms. Leakey told me.
    â€œThat must be some sweet dirt,” I said.
    â€œDo you kids know which is the most important meal of the day?” asked Ms. Leakey.
    Little Miss Perfect was waving her arm around like it was on fire. Naturally, Ms. Leakey called on her.
    â€œBreakfast!” Andrea said, all proud of herself.
    â€œThat’s right,” Ms. Leakey said. “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.”
    â€œBreakfast is conceited,” I said. “Mr.Granite told us you shouldn’t think you’re more important than anyone else.”
    I looked at Mr. Granite. He was in the back of the room reading his newspaper. He looked annoyed.
    â€œYeah,” said Ryan. “How does that make lunch feel?”
    â€œDo you think lunch and dinner are jealous of breakfast because it’s more important?” asked Michael.
    â€œLunch and dinner don’t have feelings,” Ms. Leakey told us. “They’re just meals .”
    â€œDidn’t we learn in social studies that all meals are created equal?” I asked.
    â€œThat’s men , dumbhead!” said Andrea. “All men are created equal.”
    â€œYour face is a man,” I told Andrea.
    â€œThat doesn’t even make sense, Arlo!”
    â€œYour face doesn’t make sense,” I told Andrea.
    â€œOh, snap!” said Ryan.
    â€œI think breakfast is selfish,” said Neil the nude kid.
    â€œYou eat shellfish for breakfast?” I asked. “That’s weird.”
    â€œCan we get back on task, please?” said Ms. Leakey. “What I’m trying to say is that what you eat is very important. Don’t you want to grow up to be strong like me?”
    Ms. Leakey flexed her arm muscles like a bodybuilder.
    â€œI’ll bet you’re not as strong as Mr.Granite,” said Ryan. “He’s really strong.”
    â€œOh, yeah? I’ll bet I’m stronger than