we got to see it live and in person.
âIâm full of protein!â shouted the peanut as he swung his sword around. âI have lots of energy!â
âGet lean and mean by eating greens!â shouted the carrot.
âIâm low in fat!â shouted the banana. âAnd a good source of fiber and vitamins!â
âI will make you fat and slow!â shoutedthe candy bar as she charged with her sword.
âI will clog your arteries!â shouted the donut.
âI will ruin your appetite for dinner!â shouted the can of soda.
They were all running around the stage sword fighting with each other. It was like Clash of the Titans but with food. The banana hit the candy bar over the head, and it toppled over.
âI fell down and I canât get up!â shouted the candy bar. âIâm too tired!â
In front of me, Andrea was talking to her crybaby friend, Emily.
âThis skit is very violent,â she said. âIâm not sure itâs appropriate for children.â
âCan you possibly be more boring?â I told her.
âOh, snap!â said Ryan.
Except for Andrea and Emily, all the kids were yelling and screaming with excitement. Up on the stage, the peanut knocked the sword out of the soda canâshand. The soda can ran away. Everybody cheered. Ms. Leakey and the carrot were fighting with Officer Spence, I mean, the donut. It was awesome.
âIâm good for you!â shouted the carrot.
âBut I taste better!â shouted the donut.
âSugar and fat are my enemies!â shouted Ms. Leakey. âThey must be your enemies too.â
Ms. Leakey kept stabbing her sword at the donut, but Officer Spence was jumping around, so the sword only hit the donut hole. He was fighting back hard, but it was two against one. Ms. Leakey got on one side of him, and the carrot got on his other side.
âThis is for your own good, donut!â shouted Ms. Leakey. âCharge!â
And then, together, they stabbed the donut!
âDie, empty calories!â Ms. Leakey shouted.
Officer Spence let out a scream, and then he fell to his donut knees and started crying.
When they pulled the swords out of him, chocolate syrup started squirting all over the place like a fountain. I thought I was gonna throw up, but it was cool.
âThis is really inappropriate for children,â said Andrea.
What is her problem? Andrea is no fun at all.
âHelp!â shouted the donut. âIâm losing my partially hydrogenated corn syrup!â
âVictory isâ¦sweet!â shouted Ms. Leakey.
âOh, untimely death!â Officer Spence moaned. And then he fell forward and stopped moving.
Ms. Leakey, Mrs. Roopy, Mr. Macky, andMrs. Cooney went to the front of the stage and took a bow. We all clapped in a big circle.
âThank you,â Ms. Leakey said. âI hope you liked our performance. If youâll excuse me, I need to go do some push-ups.â
Then she ran away. We all clapped again.
Mr. Klutz climbed up on the stage and made the shut up peace sign to calm everybody down.
âWell, that was exciting!â he said. âSo, did you kids learn anything from this skit?â
âYeah,â I hollered. âSword fighting is cool !â
3
Girls Rule. Boys Drool.
The guys and I all agreed that sword fighting was cool. Instead of us playing games in fizz ed, they should let us fight with swords. All that running and jumping and stabbing each other would be good exercise.
After the assembly we went back toMr. Graniteâs class. It was time for math. I hate math.
âLetâs say there are fifteen lightbulbs burning in your house,â Mr. Granite told us, âand you turn off seven of them when you leave for school. How many are still burning?â
âEight!â we all shouted.
âWrong!â said Mr. Granite. âThe correct answer is zero. You should never leave any lights burning when you leave
âIâm full of protein!â shouted the peanut as he swung his sword around. âI have lots of energy!â
âGet lean and mean by eating greens!â shouted the carrot.
âIâm low in fat!â shouted the banana. âAnd a good source of fiber and vitamins!â
âI will make you fat and slow!â shoutedthe candy bar as she charged with her sword.
âI will clog your arteries!â shouted the donut.
âI will ruin your appetite for dinner!â shouted the can of soda.
They were all running around the stage sword fighting with each other. It was like Clash of the Titans but with food. The banana hit the candy bar over the head, and it toppled over.
âI fell down and I canât get up!â shouted the candy bar. âIâm too tired!â
In front of me, Andrea was talking to her crybaby friend, Emily.
âThis skit is very violent,â she said. âIâm not sure itâs appropriate for children.â
âCan you possibly be more boring?â I told her.
âOh, snap!â said Ryan.
Except for Andrea and Emily, all the kids were yelling and screaming with excitement. Up on the stage, the peanut knocked the sword out of the soda canâshand. The soda can ran away. Everybody cheered. Ms. Leakey and the carrot were fighting with Officer Spence, I mean, the donut. It was awesome.
âIâm good for you!â shouted the carrot.
âBut I taste better!â shouted the donut.
âSugar and fat are my enemies!â shouted Ms. Leakey. âThey must be your enemies too.â
Ms. Leakey kept stabbing her sword at the donut, but Officer Spence was jumping around, so the sword only hit the donut hole. He was fighting back hard, but it was two against one. Ms. Leakey got on one side of him, and the carrot got on his other side.
âThis is for your own good, donut!â shouted Ms. Leakey. âCharge!â
And then, together, they stabbed the donut!
âDie, empty calories!â Ms. Leakey shouted.
Officer Spence let out a scream, and then he fell to his donut knees and started crying.
When they pulled the swords out of him, chocolate syrup started squirting all over the place like a fountain. I thought I was gonna throw up, but it was cool.
âThis is really inappropriate for children,â said Andrea.
What is her problem? Andrea is no fun at all.
âHelp!â shouted the donut. âIâm losing my partially hydrogenated corn syrup!â
âVictory isâ¦sweet!â shouted Ms. Leakey.
âOh, untimely death!â Officer Spence moaned. And then he fell forward and stopped moving.
Ms. Leakey, Mrs. Roopy, Mr. Macky, andMrs. Cooney went to the front of the stage and took a bow. We all clapped in a big circle.
âThank you,â Ms. Leakey said. âI hope you liked our performance. If youâll excuse me, I need to go do some push-ups.â
Then she ran away. We all clapped again.
Mr. Klutz climbed up on the stage and made the shut up peace sign to calm everybody down.
âWell, that was exciting!â he said. âSo, did you kids learn anything from this skit?â
âYeah,â I hollered. âSword fighting is cool !â
3
Girls Rule. Boys Drool.
The guys and I all agreed that sword fighting was cool. Instead of us playing games in fizz ed, they should let us fight with swords. All that running and jumping and stabbing each other would be good exercise.
After the assembly we went back toMr. Graniteâs class. It was time for math. I hate math.
âLetâs say there are fifteen lightbulbs burning in your house,â Mr. Granite told us, âand you turn off seven of them when you leave for school. How many are still burning?â
âEight!â we all shouted.
âWrong!â said Mr. Granite. âThe correct answer is zero. You should never leave any lights burning when you leave
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