Moscow Machination by Ian Maxwell Page B

am huge fan of you and your work and your values. I like the new
direction Russian direction.”
    “You are
very kind Dear Leader. I just wanted to thank you and your forces for saving our
Russian treasure Zoya and staving off a nuclear strike.”
    “Oh, did
Sergey put you to this. We roughhouse all the time Anna. Don’t worry about it.”
    “That is a
relief Leader. Thank you.”
    “Before
you say anything, I am putting Zoya on the next deluxe train to Moscow.”
    “But…”
    “No buts
Anna… I insist.”
    “Don’t you
want anything in return… Leader?”
    “Did old
Sergey tell you I demand things? Did he say I cry like a baby?”
    “That
devious shit,” seethed Sergey quietly.
    “Uhh. No
Dear Leader, Sergey has been all praise. In fact he invites you to his hometown
Kirov. He wants to showcase its rich history.”
    “Thanks. Tell
him, I will think about it.”
    “Good. Is
there anything else, you would like to discuss Dear Leader?”
    “Hmmm… let’s
see… there is this one little thing…”
    “Aha, I
knew it. Here comes the dagger Madam,” frothed Sergey unable to contain his
glee.
    “I am all
ears Dear Leader.”
    “Anna,
your predecessor’s administration made a deal with us. Your homeboy Sergey who
is hiding behind your sweet behind is well aware of this.”
    “I am not
fucking hiding behind anyone’s back,” replied Sergey in a tightly contorted tone.
    “Sergey
Luzkhov in the flesh? Well Madam… Anna the deal, was we send you some sweet ores...
iron ores, in exchange of something we need.”
    “Which is?”
    “Fish.”
    “Fish?”
    “Yes my
people love some good fish and chips.”
    “We have
been sending the fish… by the train load,” interjected Sergey.
    “No. You
have been sending us rotten fish you rotten piece of shit,” remarked the
Leader.
    “Rotten?” asked
Anna. Sergey was silent.
    “My people
have been eating the same rotten fish that Zoya ate for months. The same rotten
fish that made Zoya sick. The same rotten fish that made Zoya salivate at the
Chinese snipers. The same rotten fish that made Zoya puke and faint.”
    “Jesus
that’s awful. Sergey did you know about the rotten fish?” asked Petrova.
    Sergey seemed
lost. Eventually he shrugged, “I delegated it to our Vladivostok office.”
    “No shit,”
yelled the Leader, “that clown is fishy as fuck Anna.”
    “Dear
Leader, I am terribly sorry. I am sorry for what we have put you and your
people through.”
    “Wow!
Anna, Anna, Anna…did you just say sorry? Now there’s a word I have never heard
a Russian utter!”
    “We will
fix this right away Dear Leader. I will ensure that your people, the North
Korean people… get the best fish from our Kamchatka fisheries. You have my word
on this Great Leader.”
    “Anna I
could kiss you right now. If Sergey wasn’t listening in, I swear, I would.”
    “Please
Dear Leader. Nothing pains me more than sending rotten food. Again I’m truly
sorry.”
    “Man, I
knew you were different,” proclaimed the Leader of North Korea before hanging
up.
     
     
     
    Anna
Petrova sighed and turned to the defiant yet shaky Luzkhov.
    “Sergey, I
don’t know what you did in the past. I sure as hell don’t care how you delegate
stuff. From now fucking on, you better pull it together.”
    “Madam I
can explain…”
    “Rotten
fish? Your rotten fish almost got my tiger killed, then ended up killing the
head of Chinese intelligence, took out the Chinese Premier and now this… starving
innocent people... that’s fucking genocide man.”
    “Madam… but
you started this. You authorized the hit on the Chinese train.”
    “On your FUCKING
advice. You vouched for it. Plus this has nothing whatsoever to do with the
Chinese hit.”
    “Oh come
on… Anna…”
    “Don’t
‘Come on Anna’ me. You know what… you don’t seem to be getting the situation.
Here we have a sweet, misunderstood boy, whom you made me believe was a drug
addled maniac.”
    “Anna, the
whole world