the lyrics were singing about a man who’d lost his ‘baby’ and that reminded Leigh of Ryan’s dreams and suddenly, the world was blurring over. ‘You’re wrong,’ she whispered, trying to pull his hands off her shoulders. ‘He belongs to someone else. Someone-’
‘You’re worth a million fantasy women, Leigh,’ Bruce whispered, lifting her face to his, his brown eyes burning intently. ‘You are beautiful and sweet and funny and fun… there’s this aura around you that’s like standing near a fire when it’s freezing. I can see that you’re unaware of that-’ he pushed her hair out of her face. ‘But I can also see that you’re the only one.’ He smiled fondly at her. ‘You need to stop comparing yourself to women who could never exist and accept that you fucking matter.’
Leigh’s abdomen sucked back against her tailbone and a tear leaked down her cheek. ‘That’s very sweet Bruce…’ her voice cracked. ‘But it’s you saying that, not him.’
Bruce wrapped his arms around her and began to rock her gently to the beat. His brown eyes were warm and unfocused. ‘And if he said it, would you believe him?’ Leigh thought it over, then closed her eyes and shook her head. ‘Why?’
Because he loved someone else enough to die for them, and I love my parents too much to give myself away to anyone who wouldn’t die for me. Since I’ve arrived over here, I’ve changed and I left a lot of my insecurities behind. I feel stronger and prettier and sexier and braver… But to be with Ryan, I need to love myself less and I owe it to my parents to hang out for the real thing. If I’m so deserving of it, I’ll find it, won’t I? Or, it’ll find me.
‘He can’t even get through that Lonesome October song without beginning to fall apart over memories that he doesn’t even remember.’ Leigh opened her eyes and shrugged gently and tearfully. ‘And I love that song.’ She glanced over her shoulder and Ryan’s striking profile made her pulse hurdle. She looked back at Bruce. ‘I want a guy who loses his mind over me. Is that so much to ask?’
‘You mean… like that?’
‘Like what?’ Leigh glanced over her shoulder and Bruce spun her, assisting the pivot, and that was when she saw that Ryan had spotted them and looked ill. He dropped a cord, then furrowed his brow and strummed downward, singing the next bit a little more loudly and angrier than Leigh thought Eddie Vedder had intended.
‘Oh oh… oh whoa oh oh…’ Ryan’s voice melted the sound but his eyes were hard and frozen. ‘Oh whoa…’ he ended the song with one, long sustained strum and then glowered at Leigh unhappily before leaning over the microphone and muttering: ‘Thank you…’ to the people applauding while his eyes said: ‘Fuck you,’ to her, and then to Bruce.
‘That’s not losing his mind- that’s losing his temper again.’ Leigh whispered to Bruce, but clapped her hands together, smiling a trembling smile to let him know that she was there to support him and not to raise hell. But Ryan shook his head, scowled and strummed the guitar harder to begin the next song:
‘Is it getting better…?’ he began ‘One’ softly, and Leigh’s heart began to splutter like a car running out of fuel. Was he going to run through the entire book’s playlist until she was a twitching lump on the floor?
He’s so angry with me! Oh my god, what if we can’t even be friends after this? I like him so much!
Bruce chuckled and took her in his arms again. ‘You’re completely obtuse, you know that?’
Leigh nodded. ‘What’s your point?’
Bruce rolled his eyes and rocked her again. ‘I don’t even know the guy, and I can tell that he’s crazy jealous right now.’
Leigh shrugged noncommittally. ‘He thought he was going to get me into bed, that’s all. Now I’m out with you and he’s starting to wonder if I’m shallow enough to stick it to him by taking you home instead.’
‘No. No that’s not it. He
‘You’re worth a million fantasy women, Leigh,’ Bruce whispered, lifting her face to his, his brown eyes burning intently. ‘You are beautiful and sweet and funny and fun… there’s this aura around you that’s like standing near a fire when it’s freezing. I can see that you’re unaware of that-’ he pushed her hair out of her face. ‘But I can also see that you’re the only one.’ He smiled fondly at her. ‘You need to stop comparing yourself to women who could never exist and accept that you fucking matter.’
Leigh’s abdomen sucked back against her tailbone and a tear leaked down her cheek. ‘That’s very sweet Bruce…’ her voice cracked. ‘But it’s you saying that, not him.’
Bruce wrapped his arms around her and began to rock her gently to the beat. His brown eyes were warm and unfocused. ‘And if he said it, would you believe him?’ Leigh thought it over, then closed her eyes and shook her head. ‘Why?’
Because he loved someone else enough to die for them, and I love my parents too much to give myself away to anyone who wouldn’t die for me. Since I’ve arrived over here, I’ve changed and I left a lot of my insecurities behind. I feel stronger and prettier and sexier and braver… But to be with Ryan, I need to love myself less and I owe it to my parents to hang out for the real thing. If I’m so deserving of it, I’ll find it, won’t I? Or, it’ll find me.
‘He can’t even get through that Lonesome October song without beginning to fall apart over memories that he doesn’t even remember.’ Leigh opened her eyes and shrugged gently and tearfully. ‘And I love that song.’ She glanced over her shoulder and Ryan’s striking profile made her pulse hurdle. She looked back at Bruce. ‘I want a guy who loses his mind over me. Is that so much to ask?’
‘You mean… like that?’
‘Like what?’ Leigh glanced over her shoulder and Bruce spun her, assisting the pivot, and that was when she saw that Ryan had spotted them and looked ill. He dropped a cord, then furrowed his brow and strummed downward, singing the next bit a little more loudly and angrier than Leigh thought Eddie Vedder had intended.
‘Oh oh… oh whoa oh oh…’ Ryan’s voice melted the sound but his eyes were hard and frozen. ‘Oh whoa…’ he ended the song with one, long sustained strum and then glowered at Leigh unhappily before leaning over the microphone and muttering: ‘Thank you…’ to the people applauding while his eyes said: ‘Fuck you,’ to her, and then to Bruce.
‘That’s not losing his mind- that’s losing his temper again.’ Leigh whispered to Bruce, but clapped her hands together, smiling a trembling smile to let him know that she was there to support him and not to raise hell. But Ryan shook his head, scowled and strummed the guitar harder to begin the next song:
‘Is it getting better…?’ he began ‘One’ softly, and Leigh’s heart began to splutter like a car running out of fuel. Was he going to run through the entire book’s playlist until she was a twitching lump on the floor?
He’s so angry with me! Oh my god, what if we can’t even be friends after this? I like him so much!
Bruce chuckled and took her in his arms again. ‘You’re completely obtuse, you know that?’
Leigh nodded. ‘What’s your point?’
Bruce rolled his eyes and rocked her again. ‘I don’t even know the guy, and I can tell that he’s crazy jealous right now.’
Leigh shrugged noncommittally. ‘He thought he was going to get me into bed, that’s all. Now I’m out with you and he’s starting to wonder if I’m shallow enough to stick it to him by taking you home instead.’
‘No. No that’s not it. He
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